Netgear Nightmare

Ever since we've moved, I've had so much to post about that I was actually growing concerned as to whether or not my cranium would burst under the excess load. 

Unfortunately, since we didn't have the wireless network setup yet, the only position available to me for computer use was either sitting 'native-american' style (see, I'm all PC now) on the floor, or laying flat out on my stomach while typing.  My back wasn't particularly fond of either method.

Enter the free Netgear router from my Father-In-Law.   Given graciously as a gift, the little paperback-sized bugger fought me to the very end.  It was like David (the router) trying to slay Chrisliath by slinging frustration at me, shot like a million little pebbles from it's stark white antenna, extended upward at me as if to flip me off. 

I've done this before, so I was prepared for a pretty easy setup.  Oh no. Not this time.  Mr. Router didn't want to play nice.  I had him communicating with my intermediary, Mr. iBook just fine.  He simply refused to be introduced to Mr. Internet at any cost.  I've been intermittently screwing around with it since Monday trying in vain to make it work, but nothing happened.  I've even got a replacement on the way from Newegg.  Such was the level of my frustration with it.  

Then, tonight, something in my head clicked.  Try it again, I thought.  Once more couldn't hurt.  If nothing happened, I had grand plans for the disposal of the unit involving urine, a third floor window, and fire.  So, I got up, turned on the light, and started to tweak the white menace one last time.  After cloning my MAC address and some rather unorthodox reboots, the bastard gave up the will to fight and lit up like a Christmas tree as the internet forced its way in like a drunk jock at a sorority party.

Within seconds, my Apple seemed to come alive as my dashboard widgets all sprung into action and I realized that I, master of all hardware, had reclaimed my birthright.  Now I, Christopher, can sit on the couch in my underwear and surf the net.  Once again, all is right in my little corner of the world.

Movin' on Up

The move is complete, and we are free. It's been a fairly busy week, starting with the move.  One of my 'helpers' decided not to bother showing up so it was up to me and a friend of Kelly's to get the job done.  Moving things to the 3rd floor was more fun than an unmedicated root canal, but only slightly.  

Once we got settled, Kelly decided it would be fun to get a head cold, and I joined in two days later. Jack got a particularly nasty stomach virus causing him to throw up almost constantly for 3 days, requiring a 4am trip to the ER and his first IV (Don't EVER ask me to talk about that. It was horrid.) Aeryn decided this would be a good month to give up sleeping too.

I'm doing great.  Three months into the year and I've already had my third cold.  If I get another I'm donating my body to science. I will say this, I discoverd Cold-Eeze chewing gum, and I will personally buy stock in that company. Three days and I feel almost totally normal. I've never had a cold that short. The stuff is amazing.

Jack seems to be back to normal, so I'm going to celebrate the small things there.  We love the new apartment and the kids seem to be adjusting very well.  Aside from the whole rotavirus/ER/IV thing.  (Did I mention that was horrid?)

On a lighter note, the place feels like home already, and I can tell I'm going to trim down a bit just by coming and going.  The stairway is damn near eternal, and with kids, we generate a lot of smelly trash that needs to leave upon production.  

Mom and Dad came up to see the place today and loved it.  It was really good to see them, and the kids were thrilled.  Evidently my mom has come down with something similar to Jack's affliction. Of course, she's the type to avoid the doctor unless something is physically sticking out of an appendage so we'll see if Dad can get her in to see one.

Now that the cable internet is hooked up and I can get a better signal than the really weak wireless network I intercepted the first night I was here, I can get back into the swing and start posting here again.

On a side note, I realized today that I could save the defense industry billions on weapons R&D. My kids can totally destroy the tech and communications infrastructure of any small to middling country if given half a chance. Case in point, I spent a good bit of the morning chasing Aeryn around and pulling XBox games out of her little hands, while my son ran the other direction to play with my laptop. I think Aeryn was running interference. They seem to know what is valuable and breakable and target those things first. Honestly, put them in any environment and they gravitate to all the high tech fragile shit and leave the toys alone.

Toddlers - America's last, best line of defense.

Sit and Spin

Attention George Clooney. Al Franken, Al Gore, Hillary Clinton, Janeane Garofolo (I can't believe I actually had to reference that sack of shit for this post.) Calling all of you flaming, rampaging, venom-spewing self-aggrandizing sons and daughters of bitches who would literally shit razorblades soaked in rubbing alcohol before dreaming of saying something nice about our military.

Take a look at this. It's nothing special. Just a letter from the Mayor of Tal Afar, Iraq praising our troops for their actions in liberating his hometown from fucking TERRORISTS. Oh, but wait, we're the bad guys right? Sorry I forgot. I guess that's why the mayor said:

"I have met many soldiers of the 3d Armored Cavalry Regiment; they are not only courageous men and women, but avenging angels sent by The God Himself to fight the evil of terrorism."

I am sick to death of all this bullshit about how we're the cause of all problems in the world. I've got news for you. THIS is the fucking cause of terrorism you stupid lemmings. Ever crack one of these bad boys open? Doubt it. You ought to take a look some time, you might just learn something.

It's gotten to the point where I can't even stomach switching on a mainstream news channel or reading a mainstream site. Why bother? All they preach is that the US deserves the terrorist threat, we caused it, we are perpetrating it, and if we'd ignore it or placate it, everything would just be peachy.

I guess we never should have gone after the Nazis either? Why not just appease them. It worked so goddamned well for England didn't it?

Read this very carefully, especially if you are a liberal. Ready? Here we go. Terrorists HATE you. Why? Because you are you. They want to kill you, your family, your kids, your dog and everyone you know. Again, why? Because you are not one of them. They want you DEAD. Do you understand that? How hard is it to comprehend this? More precisely, why is it so hard for people to understand that we will not stand for this?

Yes, I have certain issues with the way our operations are being conducted. Militarily, I don't think our men and women are being given enough latitude to pursue the type of aggressive war that will bring this to an end swiftly and permanently. Does it mean I don't support the war or the troops? Absolutely not. We have got men and women over there with solid steel-plated balls, and I have nothing but respect for them.

As for you liberals who have nothing but spite for them, well, get educated. Get down off your soap box, try to learn a little bit about what you're preaching. Oh, and while you're at it, go fuck yourselves.

Now Playing in iTunes: Believe by Breaking Benjamin

Technorati Tags: Army, Iraq, Liberal, war, tal-afar

Christadamus Speaks

Microsoft recently announced that Windows Vista (Codenamed: OMFG this looks just like OSX, but nobody will ever notice) will not support EFI, effectively precluding it from booting on Intel-based Macs. Being a Mac user myself, I can't really see why anyone would really want to do that anyway. That's like buying a Lexus and then installing a Yugo engine in it.

Alas, some people are pretty keen on the idea, and will stop at nothing to see it happen. Some people also have entirely too much free time on their hands, but then maybe so do I as I'm evidently concerned about it enough to post this.

More to the point, I have a prediction about where this whole Mac-Windows fiasco is headed. I could most definitely be wrong, but this is what I see happening. Microsoft announces Vista won't support EFI and won't boot on Intel-based Macs. (Done.) Hackers will continue to try and may achieve limited success. That's what hackers do, God love 'em. Come this holiday season, we're due to see the launch of Windows Vista and OSX Leopard relatively close together; Something deep down in the pit of my stomach tells me that we're going to find out that Leopard is going to be able to run Windows applications. Whether they achieve this through their 'red-box' implementation, or some modified version of Rosetta, I don't know. I'm not a programmer.

I just think Steve Jobs has a very, very nasty Christmas present in store for Bill Gates this year. Just a thought.

Technorati Tags: Windows, Mac, Microsoft, OSX, Vista, Apple

Score One for Common Sense

Dubai or not Dubai, that is no longer the question. The takeover of American ports by Dubai Ports World has died a merciful and well-deserved death in Congress thanks to a little good old-fashioned common sense. I am utterly thrilled that Democrats stood shoulder to shoulder with Republicans on this issue and saw it for the colossal risk it was.

I heard several news commentators today seemingly bewildered and praising the members of Congress for finally hearing and reacting to the will of the people. I can't remember which one said it, but I even heard a comment to the effect of 'This may herald the era of a more responsive government, one that listens to its consituency.'

Isn't that what it's supposed to be in the first place? We vote them in, we pay their salaries, and yet we as a people tend to sit around on our asses and let them dictate to us what is and is not good for us.

All too often we forget that our government is supposed to answer to us, and not the other way around. I hope this issue becomes a catalyst for change in the sense that we as a whole take more interest in matters of government, and that we take our leaders to task for the actions they take.

Technorati Tags: Dubai, ports, takeover, congress

Ok, now I'm pissed off.

I'll be the first to admit that sometimes I lose my temper a little more quickly than I should. Keeping up on the news obsessively probably isn't the best thing for someone in that predicament to do; and boy was I proven right tonight. I came across a link to a site called 'The Liberal Avenger;' the title of which alone should have set my common-sense alarms blaring, but I decided to read on.

Bad move. This guy obviously suffers from cerebral diarrhea and manages to spew forth an incoherent stream of vitriolic shit about things he simply doesn't understand. Some people obviously are incapable of accepting reality or debating it with factual support, so they simply vent mean-spirited semi-thought out insults and then defend them with even more insults, trying to disguise them as intelligent discourse. This guy is one of them. In reality, he's a condescending little piece of shit with no agenda other than to be a prick and flaunt his stupidity.

Case in point: this post regarding an Army Pfc named Joshua Sparling who was injured in Iraq. It's one thing to disagree with the war in Iraq. That's your right as an American. It's another to call out a wounded vet and insult and degrade him due to his injury, and then gloat about it, picking fights with people who disagree with him in the comments.

Pfc. Sparling had to have his wounded leg amputated. 'The Liberal Avenger' (doesn't that sound like a homosexual superhero?) comes up with the following bit of genius.

"So - the 82nd Airborne needs a guy to sell pencils in Iraq now? After the war is over he can get a job as a greeter at Wal-Mart. Trailer-people can come in and rub his stub for good luck on their way to the dog track."

Maybe I'm just being dense, but the bit about selling pencils eludes me. Is that supposed to be funny? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? If you're going to be a jackass about something, at least come up with something good.

The part about him becoming a Wal-Mart greeter is the part that gets on my nerves. Not that there's anything inherently wrong with that job. A job is a job, and Mr. Avenger might want to look into acquiring one. If nothing else, it might cut into the amount of time he has to post stupid and poorly planned blog entries.

How dare this son of a bitch sit there and degrade a member of our armed forces, and belittle his sacrifice and future worth as a member of society? As if his left-wing blog somehow elevates him to a lofty precipice from which he can look down on those more bourgeois than he.

I'm not a member of the military, nor have I been. I have many close friends who are, and I have immeasurable respect for them. They all understand the role they play, and the potential risks involved. They are all extremely intelligent and very dedicated individuals. I take personal offense to this type of trash-talking about people who wear our uniform, especially given that it comes from someone with such a warped ideology.

Let's not even get into the little rainbow decal with the 'Marriage is Love' quote posted on the bottom of his links section. Obviously he doesn't even qualify for military service and yet he's 'better' than them? Uh huh. Got it.

Well, here's a conservative viewpoint for Mr. Liberal Avenger. You know the homosexual pride decal I just mentioned? And all those insipid comments you are so free to post on the internet? Who do you think safeguards your rights to those things? Try posting anti-military or pro-homosexual comments in most other countries and see how far you get.

You're not worthy to kiss the ass of that young man (though, concievably, that may not be all that unappealing to you.) I'd love to see him get fitted with a prosthetic leg, then track you down and put his newly fitted metal foot up your ass.

Now Playing in iTunes: God of Thunder by Iced Earth

Technorati Tags: Army, Iraq, Liberal, War

Driving me insane

I've lived in the state of Maryland my whole life. I've always found it amusing how they say 'Virginia is for Lovers' while Maryland is 'for Crabs.' Think about that for a moment. Variously known as 'the Old-Line' state, and 'America in Miniature' we have it all.

Beautiful scenery (bullshit), unspoiled beaches (bullshit unless you drive a lowered import and are 17, horny and drunk and enjoy having 58,000 people packed into your immediate vicinity.) These, along with a rich history are things people cite as reasons to come see our fine state.

I've got another. Come visit our Motor Vehicle Administration. Why? Well, it's a fine opportunity to see what customer service, friendliness, prompt response times and attention to detail are all about. Of course, I'm full of shit, just like the aforementioned MVA.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I went from ambivalence about today's visit there to anger, to frothing at the mouth raging hatred, all in about ten minutes. I walked in on good terms with them. Within ten minutes, I owed them 1,410 dollars. Ten minutes after that, I attempt to make arrangements to pay off this bullshit amount, and am greeted with a nuclear fucking bomb of joy. The MVA's collections department (which contains the most unfriendly fat-ass bitch of an employee who is not really an employee) was a royal treat. I walk up to the window with the wife and kids in tow, and realize that I had forgotten my wallet, so I had no ID. Kelly walks up to take care of the matter, and the fat bitch in the office, henceforth to be called the UFB (Unhelpful Fat Bitch) began to speak to Kelly very, VERY softly while seated in her chair some 8 feet from the Dutch door.

She begins with 'I am not the MVA.' That's a direct quote. She punches several things into a computer and then drops a fucking nuke on us. 'Ma'am, I see here that you currently owe XYZ amount to the University of Maryland. That amount needs to be paid..' as she rambles on, my brain starts to reel. The only thing I can think of is 'What the mother of all things fuck does this have to do with why we're here?' So, she then proceeds to inform us that this department is some sort of state-contracted collections agency. One with incorrect information on their computer, as my wife had signed up for, but dropped the classes in question when she became pregnant with our daughter. She talked in an extremely disinterested and quiet tone, and Kelly asked her several times to either speak louder or repeat herself as we couldn't hear her. Basically due to her lack of volume and the fact she was...8 feet away looking away. I was getting extremely pissed off at this point. I came to take care of one thing, and everything was going completely wrong right in front of my face.

She then demanded a sum of money which reeked of extortion to start this 'payment plan' to repay a debt owed over a bullshit charge which I don't even recognize as legitimate. I simply don't carry that much in cash, nor do I let it sit in my bank account on a regular basis.

The UFB then tells us that both of our cars tags are now suspended and the po-po will pull us over, take our tags, impound our car, demand full payment of the BS fees, and probably steal our children while sodomzing us and whistling fucking Dixie.

My jaw hit the floor as I fought off the urge to reach over the counter and throttle UFB for everything I'm worth. I wanted nothing more than to see her eyeballs rocket out of her head and slide down the opposing wall while I squeezed her like a fucking toy.

This is pretty much par for the course when dealing with the MVA. I've found that almost everyone there leaves with the distinct feeling that the visit would have gone better if there was a body count in their wake.

Now Playing in iTunes: Cross to Bear by Staind

Technorati Tags: Maryland, MVA

2006=1984

Warning to all Americans: If you want to remain safe and out of the crosshairs of Homeland Security, do not under any circumstances attempt to pay off your credit cards. That makes you a terror suspect. I wish this were a joke, but some retired folks actually did get investigated by DHS for trying to pay off their JC Penney card. This is really, really getting out of hand. I'm all for protecting us from terrorist attacks, but the threat to our civil liberties is very real, and potentially greater than the direct damage from a terrorist attack. It almost makes you wonder if the terrorists out there are having a good laugh as they watch us turn into a repressive society.

Most people don't realize the full range of Homeland Security's activities, and I'm not sure they even realize where their boundaries are. They've even made the news recently for busting a major porn ring. Well, not too major. And, actually it wasn't really a 'ring'. Ok, fine, they told people in a public library that surfing for titties was verboten. Yep. A bajillion dollars in federal funding, a mandate to defend us from terrorism and they go after a guy looking at T&A on a library computer.

It gets worse. Last year Homeland Security busted a movie piracy ring which made Star Wars Episode 3 available on the internet. Too bad they couldn't have stopped its release altogether. They've also gone after pirated software as well, targeting bit-torrent related websites and cracking groups. Maybe if we could get an Al-Jazeera employee to deliver a pirated copy of Photoshop to Osama's cave, we'd finally have some serious and concerted effort to nail his ass. Forget the WTC and Pentagon, don't steal our fucking software! And don't put a payment on your Al-Qaeda Express card, or you're seriously in deep shit.

People, stand up for your rights, for God's sake. Otherwise, they're headed straight down the tubes under the guise of security. Once that happens, we're no better than the terrorists.

Why?

I woke up at 6:00 am today. It's Sunday, the kids are STILL fast asleep, as is Kelly. The one chance I get to sleep in a bit and here I sit, surfing the web. I tried to go back to sleep, but my body just wasn't going to comply. Any other time I'd almost kill for the chance to sleep in until 8:30, but not today. Oh no. I'm not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. Why, oh why am I awake?

Damn it.

Two-Niner

I'm twenty-nine and I've accepted it. Up until today I moaned and complained and looked for a way to dodge any potential celebrations of this, my last year as a twenty-something. Now that the day is pretty much over, I've made peace with it. I just let go and decided to make today a fun day, age be damned.

We got up this morning and had breakfast at McDonald's; not fancy or out of the ordinary, but it's our Saturday tradition and I like it. The kids were wonderful as always. Afterwards, I managed to convince Kelly to drive to Bethesda with me to go to the nearest Apple store. All told, the drive there would have been about an hour. About a quarter of the way there, I decided to stop at CompUSA in Gaithersburg to see if there was any chance they had what I was looking for. Sure enough, they did. I now have a brand spanking new power adapter for my iBook. Jack managed to thoroughly destroy my first one by stomping on it and pulling it out of the wall - repeatedly - with his knee.

Eighty-three dollars poorer, at least I got some face time with a 20" iMac in the store. I'm torn between replacing my iBook with a new Powerbook. Torn, because for the same price, I can get the aforementioned iMac. But, that's not going to happen for a while. I have plenty of other expenses first before I can worry about that.

After that little jaunt, I was relieved I didn't have to drive the rest of the way to Bethesda. It's a total pain in the ass, and Interstate 270 is pretty much the worst stretch of highway on the east coast. Instead, we did a 180 and headed to Hagerstown for some errands. We shopped around for a while until Kelly started to mention she was hungry; luckily, our favorite restaurant was right there in the mall.

To my surprise, as we walked up, my mother, father, and great-uncle were standing outside.

The meal was...well, I can describe it in one word. Steak.

After completely stuffing myself with steak and cheese fries, I received the most bittersweet of all treats. The wait-staff birthday song. Ten or so waiters and waitresses came over and serenaded me; I was totally embarrassed to the point where I could feel my face turning red. That's the only thing I specifically ask people NEVER to do for me, and yet my mom did it. Embarrassment aside, it was a lot of fun. I actually got a kick out of it. The waitress asked me if I wanted the short, long, or extended version of the birthday song. I shyly mentioned I wanted the short version. The entire wait staff dropped down to their knees in unison for the song. That broke the ice for me, and I cracked a smile.

After dinner, we headed back to my parents house for some cake and presents which is always fun. Mom came through with some delicious red velvet cake, and I left with some new shoes and a few shirts and some slacks.

That was pretty much my day, and I really couldn't have asked for a better one. I'm healthy, the weather was good, and I spent the day with my wife and kids, polished off with a family dinner. What's not to like about that?

Not that I have much of a choice, but I think being 29 is going to be ok after all.

Mandatory Birthday Eve Musings

Another year has passed and I find myself enjoying my last few hours of twenty-eightness. It's been a long year, full of difficulty and stress, but then again, what year hasn't? I always fancied myself in a better life-situation than this by this age, but I've accepted where I am and resolved that things will change. We're moving soon; fourteen days to be exact, and that alone will make me feel orders of magnitude better about things. If I ever see my in-laws again after the 17th of this month, it will be far, far too soon.

On a lighter note, Jack managed to single-handedly wipe out a good chunk of my father-in-law's tropical fish collection this afternoon. He loves to stare at the aquarium in wonderment, and today he decided to help out by feeding the fish ('bursh' in Jack language). He then proceeded to dump half a can of fish food into the tank. It looked like a yellow/green blizzard inside the tank; flakes fell and swirled about making it hard to even find the fish. The snail sat motionless on the bottom of the tank with half an inch of fish food piled up on top of it, no doubt wondering what the hell was going on.

John transferred the fish to another bowl without properly adjusting the water temperature, and most of the fish started twirling and spinning randomly going into thermal shock. Technically I guess this means that John killed them, so that makes me feel a little better. Murderer. Heh.

Kelly and I took the kids out for dinner tonight, and had a wonderful time. The food was fantastic, but the real highlight of the evening came, interestingly enough, when Kelly had to slip out to the restroom. She was stopped by the elderly couple at the next table who told her how beautiful and sweet our children are, and how obvious it is that Jack loves his sister. We hear this type of thing a lot, more than I would have expected. Not that I'm complaining.

Jack really was being very sweet, helping Aeryn take sips out of his cup, and just generally loving on her. They really are great kids, though Aeryn pulled another all nighter last night. She slept from about 8 till 11, then was up until around 5 am. Kelly and I are both pretty much dead to the world about now.

That's about it for today. I guess I'll get off here, and get ready to face the big two-nine.

An Apple a day...

The advent of 'web 2.0' and other buzzword driven technologies, as we all know, has enabled a degree of online interaction and news reporting nobody would have thought possible just a few years ago. It's also had an unfortunate side effect, generating an unbelievably selfish sub-society of elite technosnobs.

For example, we find the Linuxheads. The division of computing society whose sole aim is to post on digg and every other tech related website how Windows sucks, Apple sucks, free software is the only way to go and how everyone should just install their particular favorite 'distro' of linux. (Pick one of the 463,819 distros out there...er...463,820 now.) Then proceed to dazzle us (yawn) with stories about how (OMG!!!11!) they managed to install Debian/Gentoo/Fedora/Suckass on an XBox/iPod/Palm/Vibrator or whatever other electronic gizmo they can get their hands on. It's like electronic rape; they're compelled by some unseen force to spread their 'kernel' far and wide to any device with an open port.

Next, we come to the real target of this little rant. The Apple 'fanboy'. Let me state up front that I detest the term 'fanboy.' It's the most overused word on the internet this side of 'AJAX.' This week's Apple product announcement drove the point home to me. Apple rolled out some new products at a smallish media event, and as soon as it was over, the cybershit hit the fan. Everywhere I turned people were bitching ad infinitum about how 'ghey' the event was, and how Apple sucks now because they had us all excited for new iBooks, Mediacenters, Widescreen iPods, or God knows what else. Did they deliver? Oh no, 'just' an Intel Mac mini and the iPod Hi-Fi speaker system.

Fanboys, this is addressed directly to you. Shut the f*ck up. Apple will release the products it wants to when it wants to. Apple does not operate on your schedule unless you are Steve Jobs, and you are not, so stop daydreaming. Apple doesn't suck. You do. Everytime there's the slightest hint of a new apple product, 62 gajillion websites light up like a babboon's ass in heat with every Mac jockey's ideas of what they're going to come out with. It's like a Christmas wishlist. You have no right to get pissed off at Apple for not releasing the product you want when you want it.

I've wanted Microsoft to release a stable version of Windows for years, but that still hasn't happened, and I didn't go off and vent to every Ajax powered news site I could, so get a clue. You're making the rest of us normal Mac users cringe and giving us a bad name by being such hypocritical jackasses. Two minutes before the presentation you were ready to soil your underwear with excitement at the prospect of your preferred product's imminent launch. Two minutes after, and you're telling the world that Apple is betraying its users, exploiting its growing market share by calling un-necessary news conferences, etcetera.

If you're seriously that pissed off, do me a favor. Send me the Mac you're now so ready to abandon. I'll gladly give it a new home. Then go get yourself an HP or Dell and quit bitching. You'll be back, and maybe then you'll know better.

Hope for the Human Race

"We have not seen a single Jew blow himself up in a German restaurant."

I came across a post today on Little Green Footballs which talked about Wafa Sultan, an Arab-American psychologist and Syrian expatriate. Included in the post is a video of her, on no less network than Al-Jazeera royally schooling some unknown Muslim Imam on the tenets of his own faith and the hypocrisy, stupidity, and lies it tries to pass off as truths.

In short, this woman has bigger balls than any other person of Arab descent I have ever seen. She makes absolutely perfect sense, and doesn't back down from her argument in the very least. If there are others out there who share her mentality, then there may in fact be hope to bring the world back into some semblance of gyroscopic balance before it spins off into utter chaos. I wholeheartedly agree with everything she said, and I thoroughly enjoyed the belly-laugh from watching the Imam denounce her as a heretic. Watch the video. It's worth every second.