Border Patrol Chief: We don't do borders.

Every now and then something happens to make the news that just staggers the mind.  It's almost as if some people are either so incredibly stupid or contrary that they make statements they can't possibly themselves believe.

Take for instance the Border Patrol head who is adamant that his job is not to protect our borders.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again," Carlos X. Carrillo, Border Patrol chief of Laredo, Texas, told guests at a town-hall meeting Thursday. "The Border Patrol's job is not to stop illegal immigrants. The Border Patrol's job is not to stop narcotics. ... The Border Patrol's mission is not to stop criminals."

Carillo is either totally incompetent, or first in line for a high-paying executive position within the North American Union. He's towing someone's company line, but it sure isn't the Border Patrol's.

Surely I jest, right?

T.J. Bonner, president of the National Border Patrol Council, a union representing 12,000 front-line agents, said he was baffled by the Laredo chief's statements.

"It is shocking that such a high-ranking official would make a statement that is so completely at odds with the law and the Border Patrol's mission," Mr. Bonner said. "It is equally disturbing that no one at a higher level has taken any steps to reassure employees and the public that the Border Patrol will continue to intercept all illicit traffic that it encounters.

In fact, Carillo contends the sole job of the Border Patrol is to stop terrorists from getting into the country, not illegal immigrants.  Yep.

But wait: here comes the back-pedal. 

David Aguilar, head of the Border Patrol, defended Mr. Carrillo and said his comments were taken out of context.

"Our mission is to protect our country's borders from all threats," Mr. Aguilar said. "Our highest priority is keeping terrorists and terrorist weapons from entering our country.

"We have never, nor will we ever, decrease or minimize our aggressive efforts in enforcing the rule of law."

One of these two men is either lying or ignorant. Either way that's a bad thing.

Technorati tags: Border Patrol, Bonner, Illegal immigration, Aguilar, Carrillo, Tancredo, NAU, SPP

Where You At?

Once again life has kept me from updating, but not from having more of my patented bizarre, scandalous and shocking adventures.

Today's adventure was of the benign variety, so let the gory details commence. 

While changing a diaper today, I noticed something large and blue inside my daughter's nose.  Now, being a father I've seen many multicolored things come out of places you wouldn't expect, but this one struck me as unusual.  I called the wife over for backup, and she immediately recognized the blue, nostril-blocking obstruction as - an aquadot. My children have never been the type to taste things they shouldn't, or insert things into their head...until today. 

I can't explain why, but Aeryn apparently thought it would be fun to ram an actual frigging aquadot into her skull.

She gave us no clue it was in there; it was only my obsessive fatherly booger-check that detected it in the first place.

She held remarkably still while doctor mom removed it with a pair of tweezers, thus saving the day. Fittingly, she followed up with a diaper full of irish-green, pasty, sticky napalm-poop.  It was the kind of thing you'd see if she'd eaten and digested a leprechaun.  It was nauseating, though strangely fruity smelling, but I digress.

 Between this adventure and Jack's geyser-like pus-filled infected leg of doom last month, I've had my fill of kids in distress for a while.

Full Throttle

Today was an exercise in futility.  It seemed as though no matter what I did I was assaulted by idiots.  Literally within ten minutes of getting to work today I was called by a woman who claimed she'd seen an ad for our dealership offering 0% financing. On used cars.

I then spent the next ten minutes trying to get her to understand that I can't simply give her an interest rate over the phone.  There are a few little issues like credit worthiness and oh, um, maybe an actual vehicle that need to be discussed first.

I don't have the mental energy to recount the whole sordid affair so I'll leave you with this.  Here comes your daily WTF.

 

Technorati tags: cars, dealerships, humor, video, youtube

Share the Road

I'm not a motorcycle owner or rider myself, and since I have an aversion to being turned into actual Chris-burger, I'm going to keep it that way. I know a lot of people who do ride them, and I do my best to be courteous to bikers on the road.

That sentiment is a two way street.  The other morning on the way in to work, some ignorant teenage little shit with a crotch rocket decided to weave in and out of traffic on a crowded highway with no signals, no regard for cars, and apparently no concern for his own safety.  Traffic was moving at a steady 85 mph and in his effort to break the Maryland land-speed record, he nearly careened into several cars, and was almost knocked off an embankment due to his failure to look around and make sure there were no cars where he tried to weave.

I was certain beyond all doubt that he was going to cause a major multiple car pileup, and was going to be flung, crushed or gutted as a result.  Several near misses later, he accelerated so quickly I lost visual contact with him. On a straightaway.

I kept waiting to see road-pizza and a mangled ninja, but alas, he escaped that fate...at least temporarily.

Oh well. Maybe next time.

Al Qaeda Still Hates Us

Here's a real stunner:

Al Qaeda is stepping up its efforts to sneak terror operatives into the United States and has acquired most of the capabilities it needs to strike here, according to a new U.S. intelligence assessment, The Associated Press has learned.

The terror group has been able to restore three of the four key tools it would need to launch an attack on U.S. soil: a safe haven in Pakistan's tribal areas, operational lieutenants and senior leaders. It could not immediately be learned what the missing fourth element is.

Just in case you had any doubts that is. Let the fear and panic commence.

 

Technorati tags: Al Qaida, Al Qaeda, terrorism, Islam, war

The WTF Files: Case# 89231-9928

So I sat here and thought 'I should check my referrer logs.'  All was well until I went and found this. All I really want is an explanation.  Oh, and let me add that this is NOT the only instance of this particular search term....and they ALL come from Saudi Arabia.

 

I mean really, who the hell searches for this shit?  Is there nothing better to do over there? What the hell would possess someone to even dream that up?

Goofy bastards.

Wives Say the Damnedest Things

Sometimes she actually scares me with her bluntness.