Tough Break, Kid

Not that anyone noticed but I haven't been here in a while. Again. This time though, I have an actual bona fide excuse. I broke my wrist about a month and a half ago during a wrestling match with a steroid-fueled grizzly bear who also happened to be hopped up on PCP. He put up a tough fight, but in the end, I took him down.

Okay, that's actually bullshit. I broke it at the movie theater. I fell on the stairs while trying to climb to the top of Mount Theater 14 so I could enjoy Toy Story 3 with the kids. I lost my balance, fell, and tried in vain to catch myself on a stair.

There was a nice wet popping sound, excrutiating pain, and a really cool fireworks display that only I got to see.

To make a long story short, the cast has been off a few weeks now, but I still have a lot of pain and stiffness in my wrist but nothing that won't go away in time (I think.) All the same, until recently, typing was nearly impossible, and at the very least, rather uncomfortable.

It's funny to think that as a kid I always thought it would be cool to have a cast on my arm like it would be evidence of some epic battle that I'd survived. Then, at the age of 33, I actually got a cast and found out that not only was it not cool but it in fact sucked massive amounts of ass.

I remember seconds after I climbed into the chair at the theater; there I was gasping for breath, cradling my throbbing wrist and cursing my own stupidity. Two thoughts ran through my head in quick succession. One, the kids would have to miss the movie as I obviously needed to go to the ER. Two, I knew without a doubt I would not be able to play Xbox for quite some time.

I'm sitting there in agony and I'm actually thinking about shit like that.

Anyway, it's all over. The cast is gone, my arm has returned to its pre-atrophy state, and I'm back to gaming. Can't really flex the wrist all that much yet, but at least I've got the basics covered. Ahem.

I'm thankful it happened when it did though, since I'm going back to school in October and it's nice to have both arms operational.

Now that I've got all that off my chest, I'm off to finish filling out Gamestop satisfaction surveys in the vain hope I'll be the $500 gift card winner. Then, the kids go to bed, and I'm going to dive back into Mafia 2. Good times.

Heh #17

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.

One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin.

When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: ordering three pints and drinking them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs.

"Oh, no," he says, "Everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking."