Cars and Crackwhores

The accident really messed things up for us. We definitely weren't prepared to have to buy another car only 11 months after getting the Kia. Unfortunately, that's the boat we're in. I wish I would have saved a piece of the car so I could track down the moron that pulled out in front of us and beat him over the head with it.

Now thanks to his astoundingly incompetent driving skills, this is what happened. Well, this and Kelly's herniated disc. We got the car paid off through insurance, and are pursuing legal action for her injuries, but we're back to square one. No car. On Thursday the other driver's insurance informed us the car was a total loss.

Meanwhile, Captain Oblivious got off with some body damage to his truck.

I have run across a bit of stunningly good luck as a bit of this accident, but I'll get into that another time. We still need to find a car on the quick and cheap.

As if this wasn't enough to deal with, I was on my way out the door the other morning to get some things out of the truck of the rental car, and found a notice stuck in our door. Someone had filed a noise complaint about us, citing 'running and jumping, very loud.'

This someone would have been the crackwhore downstairs and her rotating band of lovers. The same one I called the police on about a month ago for blaring obnoxious rap music at full volume at three o'clock in the morning.

The same one who refused to answer the door for the cops for over a half hour either because the crack had incapacitated her or she simply needed time to hide it.

How do I know she's a crackwhore? Well, let's see, there's the gaunt appearance, sunken in eyes and cheeks, parkinson's-like shakes, constant scratching and bobble-headedness for starters. That and the endless supply of thugz coming up to her apartment all hours of the night.

The ones that slam the door over and over and over and argue about 'day rimz' in the landing till 4 in the morning while the telltale odors of a virtual pharmacy of illicit narcotics waft up and into my bedroom window.

Other than that, I really have no evidence. We don't live in the ghetto; they just think we do.

Well, ranting aside, I called our business office and bitched that I'd called THEM and never received a response, and then was forced to call the police...TWICE...on these neighbors.

Somehow she had the balls to complain that my two year old son likes to periodically run across our paper thin floor? Uh uh. I'm not cool with that.

Especially when her two year old spawn, who likely was comprised of the sperm of at least nine men of varying ethnicities, none of whom she remembers, wails ad infinitum while they scream at her to shut the fuck up at top volume on a pretty much constant basis, in addition to everything else I just mentioned.

Luckily, the girls in the business office have some common sense and nullified our 'warning' as nothing more than a retaliation.

Queen rockho had better be on notice that I'm not going to take that crap. If one of her men so much as farts too loud, I'll bring the 5-0 down on her ass again like a ton of bricks. And maybe this time, they'll catch a whiff.

Freedom of Speech In the Crosshairs

I'm all for combatting terrorism. We should, rightfully, pull out all the stops to make sure our country is safe and secure. This does not include curtailing our individual liberties, nor should it ever.

What kind of hollow ring will the victory over terror and Islamic fascism have if we lose our core principles in the process? We must never, ever give up our liberties. They define us as a nation and a people. They are the building blocks that formed us into the nation we are; the nation we seek to defend.

Newt Gingrich, apparently, has a different opinion.

Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich yesterday said the country will be forced to reexamine freedom of speech to meet the threat of terrorism.

Gingrich, speaking at a Manchester awards banquet, said a "different set of rules" may be needed to reduce terrorists' ability to use the Internet and free speech to recruit and get out their message.

"We need to get ahead of the curve before we actually lose a city, which I think could happen in the next decade"

This is where these arguments get...well...stupid. And dangerous. Gingrich feels that we should re-evaluate our freedom of speech because he is afraid we might lose a city to terrorism.

Well, while we're at it, why don't we eliminate the right to vote since I think there's a distinct possibility that aliens will land en-masse and enslave us all in the next decade, so it won't really be an issue anyway.

Newt is wrong. Sacrificing our liberties is wrong. Pay attention to what your public servants and 'talking heads' say, people. Public apathy breeds exactly this type of attitude among our 'leaders.'

We expect protection of our government. We do not expect this protection to come wrapped in a devil's bargain.

(UnionLeader.com)

tags: Newt+Gingrich freedom+of+speech civil+liberties terrorism war

Hang on just one second...

CHICAGO (AP) - A public Christmas festival is no place for the Christmas story, the city says. Officials have asked organizers of a downtown Christmas festival, the German Christkindlmarket, to reconsider using a movie studio as a sponsor because it is worried ads for its film "The Nativity Story" might offend non-Christians.


If these non-christians aren't offended by the Christkindlmarket even taking place, I doubt the nativity story is going to have much of an impact.

When exactly did Christ become the 21st century scarlet letter?


(Source)

Break's Over. Back to the Good Stuff

I found the following picture and comment over on LGF. It was simply too perfect not to share.

Jesus was a Jew.

A Jew was a prophet of Islam.

/Waiting for 2 Billion heads to explode.

**again, I take NO credit for this comment...merely sharing the funny.

Impact

There are times in life when you sit back and really think hard about things. Births, deaths, anniversaries; all of these are the occasions most of us take advantage of to take stock of our lives and decide where things will go; this is usually preceeded by a lengthy session of reminiscing about the way things have been.

There are other times when there's no time to daydream; times when you have less than a moment to think about an entire lifetime. Today was one of those days.

It started innocently enough, with what was supposed to be a half-hour drive to pick up my my niece. The day was overcast and cold, but no foul weather was to be seen. The kids were strapped in their carseats happy as could be, and Kelly and I were driving and talking about a little of this and a little of that. The biggest concern of the day was the fact that our CD player had mysteriously stopped working and I was a little upset that I couldn't pop in a Christmas CD.

I randomly decided to change course mid-trip to take a back road which was a little more scenic, and would take us through a small little country town. Passing through the town itself in about a minute, we exited the other side blissfully unaware of what was about to happen.

Another thirty seconds and we were on an overpass above a major highway. Ahead on the right was a white Chevy Silverado pickup waiting to cross the road we were on after exiting the highway below. I saw him and took note of him, but he appeared to be looking in our direction, so I assumed he saw us. He didn't.

Just as we reached that point where I 'knew' he wouldn't try to cross in front of us, he did. Slowly. The thought that overpowered my brain was simply 'I am not seeing this. He can't be that stupid.'

I slammed my foot down on the brake pedal and tried to turn the wheel to swing around the end of his truck, but my brakes had locked hard. He must have seen us approaching and in a panic, slowed down even more. Either that or time itself stood still for a moment.

Everything turned glowing white. Then there was the noise. The thunderous 'whooooomp' and the bone-jarring jolt hit simultaneously. Seconds passed and time remained still. The white glow subsided and I was again aware that I was behind the wheel. It took another few seconds to begin to realize that I needed to move. I forced open the driver's door and freed myself from the seatbelt as fast as I could. Kelly did the same and we each grabbed one of the children and got away from the car.

We sat down in the median strip and checked everyone. My daughter bit her lip but that was the only blood drawn by the whole affair. My son was screaming at the other driver that he broke our car. Kelly was the worst off with a pretty good seatbelt bruise, a mild sprain in her neck and some chest pain.

Within moments, people were stopping to make sure we were alright. The other driver got out and stood there like a moron staring into space.

It had to have taken less than two minutes for a car to stop with an off-duty sheriff's deputy who made all the requisite calls for help.

To make a long story short, we spent the entire day in the hospital and are out of a car. My parents are loaning us one of theirs, but we're back in the market. This one lasted 11 months. Of course, I don't know for a fact that it's totalled, but looking at it, I'm pretty sure I've driven the last mile.

At least now I can postpone taking it for an oil change.

All kidding aside, we're all sore and shaken, mad and distraught, but that's not what matters. I was sitting here thinking about it all again and it occurred to me that we're all alive and relatively unhurt. All those horrid accidents you hear about on the news with people getting killed and we beat those odds today. We made it. I'm looking at it as a second chance. A chance to make sure I really stop taking things for granted. Simple things, like living.

John Kerry: Owned.

Until Kerry made his remarks about the troops (and then tried to weasel out by passing it off as a crack at the President) I thought he was just an soft-spined sissy. Now he's upgraded to full bore asshole.

We all know that taking potshots at the military is nothing new for Kerry, but that was then and this is now. The difference is he's now a sitting US Senator and that type of remark is disgraceful and shows not only his elitist attitude at its finest but also his utter distaste for anyone not on his socio-economic tier.

Kerry needs to issue a public apology immediately, and or resign. Remember, this is the man who wanted to be Commander in Chief. Think about that.

tags: John+Kerry Iraq troops war

Who Thought This Was a Good Idea?

Advertisements are everywhere these days. In your email, on your cell phone, you just can't escape them. I can understand that. It's annoying as hell, but from a business standpoint, I understand bombarding potential customers any conceivable way you can conjure up makes good sense.

There is one place where advertising never, ever, ever belongs. Kids home videos. Being home with two children who are spectacularly attached to Barney, the Wiggles and Dora the Explorer, I can tell you that in order to keep their viewing habits fed, I own quite a large library of children's DVDs and VHS tapes.

Any parent out there knows that when your child asks to watch the 'Dora tape' they want instant gratification. Any parent also knows this instant gratification can sometimes abort a temper tantrum before it goes nuclear. Why then must I sit through TWENTY minutes of commercials for cartoons my kids don't like before the actual episode of Dora starts? On a VHS tape, that's irritating beyond belief. There have been a number of times where the kids get completely pissed off and disinterested before the show ever starts. I don't blame them.

What's unconscionable is that this persists even on DVDs. I stick in the Wiggles DVD and get ads for six or seven other shows, and often these ads are impossible to skip or fast forward.

I'm sure the mentality was to expose the kids and parents to a whine-fest to entice them to purchase the other titles. That's only logical. The problem is, it just results in a whine-fest as the kids are chanting the name of the show they want me to play for them while I struggle frantically to get it playing as quickly as possible. Whoever thought putting twenty to twenty-five minutes of ads at the beginning of kids movies should be forced to sit in a room full of toddlers and show them nothing but ads for an hour. Or shot. That would actually be preferable.

tags, but first a message from our sponsor: movies advertising advertisements Barney The+Wiggles Dora DVDs VHS kids+movies

The Fundamental Truth of Design

True. So very, very true.

BUSTED!

 Someone call 911.

Chinese Racism Revealed

How dare those racist Chinese think for one second they're entitled to mistreat their poor Korean neighbors by denying them the right to live and work in China? China should be building 'bridges' to Korean communities and possibly even attempt to work out some sort of guest-worker program with North Korea that would allow their citizens to start down the path to Chinese citizenship.

The last thing China needs to be doing in this age of cooperation is to be fostering hatred and racism by...building a border fence and stepping up patrols to keep North Koreans out.

China has put up a massive concrete and barbed wire fence along parts of its border with North Korea to block a possible influx of refugees as strong international sanctions are enacted in response to Pyongyang's program to develop nuclear weapons.

In addition, China's People's Liberation Army recently conducted military exercises and deployed additional troops near the North Korean border.

South Korean media reports quoted border residents who said the 20-kilometer-long fence was erected immediately after North Korea announced its nuclear test. China has also stepped up patrols and inspections along the border with the North, they said.

The border fence, 2.5-meter-high T-shaped concrete poles strung with barbed wire, was constructed along the river with lower banks and narrower width, indicating that it is designed to stop North Koreans from crossing into China.

"The aim of these facilities is to improve management and control conditions and ensure good order at the borders," China's Foreign Ministry spokesman Liu Jianchao said. The move is not in response to the North's nuclear test on Oct. 9, he said.

If you don't understand my blatant sarcasm in the first half of this post, please just go jump off a bridge. China has the right mentality in dealing with this issue. They don't give the slightest crap what anyone else thinks. They're going to protect themselves, so they did what's necessary. If only we could get off our P.C. high horse and learn a lesson here.

Source: World Tribune

tags: China North+Korea Nuclear Kim+Jong+Il refugees illegal+immigration border+patrol Chinese

Productivity, I Hardly Knew Ye

The 'Sudoku' craze has managed to avoid me, or I it, so far. That is until today. Since I'm about as good at math as a drunken ape, I've traditionally stayed away from anything that prominently featured numbers as a selling point.

I stumbled upon a downloadable Sudoku game for Windows, and having a little time to kill while the kids played, I figured what the heck. I'd see what the craze was about. Somehow, an hour passed before I looked up from the screen. I was down to two numbers and was stuck; I called in my wife for backup. A few minutes later, we had it.

I got up to take a break and she started a new round, solving it by herself in half the time it took me. (I'm still pissed about that, but oh well.) Now the obsession is complete. We're both addicted.
The game is pretty easy to get the hang of, but deceptively simple. If you've never checked out the game, rest assured, there's no math involved. Check it out, and say good bye to any other casual game you might like. This will consume you.

The game is called Pure Sudoku. Get it HERE, it's WELL worth the download.

taggage: Sudoku Pure+Sudoku Windows+Game Download

The Cylon Model We Never Saw Coming

It's bad enough they look like humans. Now the Cylons have unveiled their latest model.

This is the most high leader of badass Jack-O-Lanterns. Here's how it's done.

Ye Olde Tags: Battlestar+Galactica Cylon Halloween Pumpkin Jack+O+Lantern

Sweet Plurality

This has been bothering me all day. Is a single 'Certs' candy a 'Cert' or a 'Certs'? Likewise, is it a 'Mento' or a 'Mentos'?

See, I know that's a weird little conundrum to have banging off the inside of my skull, but, it's there and so help me, I need an answer. Anyone?

Reason #17 Why The West Is Superior

I've gotten my first hateful comment. Yay me. All because of a little lighthearted post called Reason #16 Why The West Is Superior. (Actually, it's more like reason 456,988 but I thought a little distortion wouldn't hurt.) I earned a little 'MoHate' by posting a simple comparison of middle eastern and western women's attire.

My incisive, stinging commentary ruffled some feathers, and though I responded to the comment, I felt it necessary to further shame the author by using it to illustrate this, reason #17 in my series 'Why The West Is Superior.'

Without further delay: the words of Mohit. Let them bathe you in wisdom.

that's bullshit u scumbag??let me tell ya how west is better off??u guys
fuck your moms at night and see your sisters getting fucked at night...just bcoz
there nothing really to look back at...doesn't mean u ain't got nothing...but of
course...you've got yourself and even that i am sure would be for sale when
needed to...

Reason #17 Why The West Is Superior: Literacy.

Ironically, when I went to look at 'Mohit's' Blogger profile, I noticed it was private...as in...behind a veil.

Decadent Western Tags: Islam Muslim Mohit Western+Superiority

Elmo's World...of Smut

As you, my six dedicated readers may have noticed, with the exception of the occasional profanity, I do my best to keep this a relatively tame place. A few funny adult related stories pop up from time to time (heh heh, I said pop up...) er, but I do my best to not spread what we in the Internets call NSFW material.

This is not one of those times. Through serendipity, I came across this...well, not really, I just found it. God, the double entendres..ugh. Anyway, if you're a parent of a toddler, you'll appreciate this immensely. Just don't show it to them.

technorati tags: Elmo TMX Sesame+Street sex+tape

Stupid Human Accessories

The other night we took the kids to the pumpkin patch. It's an awesome local tradition; farmers convert their property into autumn themed playgrounds complete with crafts and food. The kids had a blast playing on the huge 'hay mountain' slides and crawling through tunnels. There were animals for the kids to see, a gigantic cornfield maze and tractor-pulled hayrides to the pumpkin patch.

After letting the kids burn off some steam, and watching a pig race (you had to see it to believe it. I had no idea pigs were so fast) we climbed up onto the wagon and started off. To our side was a family consisting of what appeared to be a mother, father, uncle, aunt and four or five kids.

The ride was going smoothly until I noticed it. The king. The grandpa. The mack-daddy of stupid.

The mother and father were both sitting quietly, jaws clenched in an 'I'm a badass' pose. Each wore a matching black and silver motorola bluetooth earpiece. Neither was using it.

As much of a lover of technology as I am, that is one piece of tech that as far as I'm concerned could simply disappear into the ether. Not because they're not useful. Hell, when driving I think they're fantastic. It's when people wear them all the time, like a fashion accessory they become...stupid. If I want to see people looking like the Borg, I'll watch a re-run of ST:TNG.

Call me old fashioned, but given that I was on a family outing, trying to let my kids enjoy the beautiful day and all the activities, I left my cell phone in the car. I figured anyone who needed to reach me could leave a voicemail, and I'd just get back to them when I got back. I really didn't think that on a Sunday afternoon, when my family was with me, there'd be anything pressing enough that I would have to keep an earpiece stuck to the side of my head.

These people apparently had to stay in the loop. It looked as if breaking their connections to the T-Mobile collective would kill them instantly. What made it even more sad was the fact that both the mother and father had them. They were sitting right beside each other, without talking, and still wearing their little toys.

Please people, make a concerted effort to not look like a dumbass. Nobody thinks you're cool. Nobody's going to point you out and say 'Oh cool man, he's got an earpiece!' That kind of showing off belongs back in third grade.

There's not exactly an elaborate installation or setup process involved, so just take the thing off when you don't need it and put it in your pocket. Trust me, you can get it back on in three seconds. That is, of course, assuming the act of lifting your three ounce cell phone to your head is unbearably strenuous.

Take off the earpieces. Don't do it for me. Do it for yourself and your dignity.

Sir You Hurt My Feelings, SIR!

The Army has gone emo.

Drill sergeants have been told to cool it. All the cussing, swearing, in-your-face intimidation by a vein-popping, bull-necked brute is now passé.

You read it right. Drill sergeants — the toughest, meanest people in the military — have been ordered to try a more sensitive approach to the young male and female recruits who once answered to the name "maggot" — or worse.

Veterans would probably chuckle, but according to Army Times, today's recruits can do their push-ups from their knees if they get too tired. Sit-ups can be accomplished with the help of a sleeping mat. Today's Army doesn't want recruits with bruised, er, tail bones.

And yet people whine about why we're not more effective in combat. In addition to fighting a 'light/lean' war which inherently hinders effectiveness, we're also bound by ROE that inhibit our people from adequately taking control of the situation, and now we're deploying troops who've been through a pussified version of basic training.

Next thing you know, new troops will be asking insurgents to be their friends on MySpace.

God help us.

technorati tags: Army military war drill+instructor basic+training

Religion Can Be Funny

technorati tags: religion christianity islam judaism

Sports News!

New York Yankee Cory Lidle has officially been traded to the Angels:

A small plane carrying New York Yankee Cory Lidle slammed into a 50-story apartment building Wednesday after issuing a distress call, killing the pitcher and a second person in a crash that rained flaming debris onto the sidewalks and briefly raised fears of another terrorist attack.

That's a hell of a strike out.

technorati tags: Cory+Lidle Yankees Baseball Sports death New+York airplane+crash

Reason #16 Why The West Is Superior

There are times in life when you're forced to make a decision. Will you turn left or right? Will you buy a Camry or an Altima? Will you bend to the will of Islamic terror, or stand up for the Western way of life?

I, for one have made my decision based on a number of factors. I don't really have any special desire to live under shari'a law, so that's a big one. I don't particularly like turbans, so that's number two. As for three...well, this one took even less time.

Let's say YOU had to pick. Would you choose:

Option 1

OR

If you stopped to think about it, you are a terrorist.

technorati tags: Muslim Islam religion veil burqa Islamic clash+of+civilizations bikini women

Mexico: U.S. Is Not Allowed to Protect Its Border

There is a term coined by the internet generation that I swore I would never use. That word is asshat. I don't like it, and I don't know why, but today I find that it's time for me to give in and call a spade a spade. Mexico is ruled by asshats.

Mexico's foreign secretary said Monday the country may take a dispute over U.S. plans to build a fence on the Mexican border to the United Nations.

Luis Ernesto Derbez told reporters in Paris, his first stop on a European tour, that a legal investigation was under way to determine whether Mexico has a case.

Get off it Mexico. No, not the fence, you already jumped over that. Get off this bogus crusade you're on to prove to the world the U.S. is the big mean bully who hates you and wants you all to stay away.

I really don't know how many times I have to talk about this before someone listens. Here goes: We do NOT hate Mexico. Mexicans are actually WELCOME here, provided they FOLLOW OUR LAWS and DO NOT SNEAK IN.

I'm only going to explain this ONCE more, so pay attention liberals and Mexicans:

Imagine I have a big house that everyone wants to go visit. Further, let's say I readily allow anyone to visit as long as they just ask me first. Sounds reasonable right? Now, say 'Juan' decides he's going to bypass me altogether and just sneak on in and do what he pleases. Not so nice is it? What if Juan then decided I was the bad guy because I decided to put a gate around my property to keep him from sneaking in again. Instead, he'd prefer that we just magically become friends and forget about the fact that he and his whole family repeatedly sneak into my house. Of course, I'd be perfectly within my rights to protect my own property and decide who I will and will not allow on it. It's MY property.

It's so outrageously simple a concept to grasp and yet everyone has to attempt to paint it with the race issue or break out the 'big mean U.S.' scenario. It's a good thing the UN is comprised themselves of a bunch of impotent asshats. Nothing's going to come of this, but the fact that Mexico even perceives it may have the slightest whiff of a case is disturbing.

Source: Washington Post

technorati tags: Mexico U.S. Illegal+Immigration Border+Patrol fence Fox Calderon

The Replacement Killers

Leading Al-Qaeda in Iraq is turning out to be a dead-end career move.

Iraq's al Qaeda leader, Abu Ayyub al-Masri, has been killed, Al Arabiya television reported on Thursday.

It gave no further details. Masri, an Egyptian who is also known as Abu Hamza al-Muhajir, assumed the leadership of al Qaeda in Iraq after Jordanian militant Abu Musab al-Zarqawi was killed in June.

(Source: Reuters)

EDIT: UPDATE - According to CNN:

At least two Arab TV networks and Reuters news agency had reported that al-Masri
was killed in a raid in Haditha, but a U.S. military spokesman said those
reports are not true.

Oh well, so much for my happy-dance.

technorati tags: Abu+Ayyad+al+Masri Al+Qaeda Iraq Islam terrorist terrorism war

Ramadanadingdong

I promise I'm not trying to turn this blog into a smut site, but this is too amusing not to mention.

Deliberate masturbation during the month of Ramadan renders a fast invalid,
Iranian Supreme Leader Sayyid Ali Khameini has ruled.

The rest of it is making me queasy; thinking about this guy and the word 'masturbation' in the same sentence is something I don't need to do. Read the rest HERE if you simply must know more.

technorati tags: Ayatolloah+Khameini Ramadan Islam

Skydiving and Porn

Which part of this story is funnier? The fact that someone decided to film a porno while skydiving, or:

...the fact it was reported on by RICHARD JOHNSON?

technorati tags: skydiving porn Vanessa+Lynn Richard+Johnson funny

Which of These Things Is Not Like the Others?

So I was sitting here working and minding my own business when I suddenly felt the urge to see what was new on Technorati. That urge is something akin to suddenly feeling like you need to go staple two fingers together, but all the same, I had it.

Clicking on over, I checked out the 'top searches' section to see if there was some cultural meme I'd thus far today missed out on. Instead I stumbled across a mystery. Join me in trying to figure out how this one random term popped in there. (Yes, I know what it referst to. I just can't figure out how it ended up in the list)

Fits right in there with Mark Foley, Amish, and Netflix, doesn't it?

technorati tag (yes, only one): Technorati

Multiple Fatalities In Amish School Shooting

What in the hell is wrong with people? For the third time in a WEEK, there's been a school-shooting. This time, there are conflicting reports of fatalities; CNN claims 3 while a report linked to from the Drudge Report Claims as many as 6 victims are confirmed dead, and there may be more.

The county coroner says at least six people were killed in a shooting at a one-room Amish schoolhouse, where state police said earlier a gunman killed
"a number" of people Monday in Pennsylvania's bucolic Lancaster County.

"So far six confirmed dead and the helicopters are pulling into
(Lancaster General Hospital) like crazy," Lancaster County Coroner G. Gary
Kirchner said.

The shooting took place at Wolf Rock School in Paradise, a school run by
the Amish community with about 27 students in grades 1 through 8.

The gunman, Charles Carl Roberts IV, 32, was a truck driver, said
Miller.

Miller said that during the attack, Roberts apparently told students to
line up in front of the blackboard. He began to tie his female captives' feet together. Then he let the boys in the classroom leave.

Miller said Roberts called his wife while he was inside the school. She
said he didn't know where he was but that he couldn't go on any more and he was getting revenge for something that happened 20 years ago.

(Sources: CNN /Breitbart)

technorati tags: Amish Lancaster+Pennsylvania PA school+shooting Charles+Carl+Roberts

Proof that Border Fence Fosters Cooperation

I recently noted that Vicente Fox believes a border fence built by the U.S. would damage relations between the two countries and cause tension. Joshuah Bearman of LA Weekly seems to have found evidence to the contrary:

We approach the fence. Within seconds Team Mexico is formed, and the match
begins. Beach volleyball is a much different game when played over two-story metal pylons. Strategy and nuance go out the window. There are few sets and certainly no spikes. Mostly, it’s tit-for-tat power bumps that send the ball in 30- and 40- and even 50-foot arcs. Despite the difficulty, the game is fun — and surprisingly uninteresting to the border patrol, who zipped down at the drop of a hat several times earlier but now seem content to observe us with binoculars.

Viva Border Volleyball

technorati tags: Mexico Border+Patrol Immigration Illegal+Immigrants

An Insignificant Politician

Al Gore has gone off the deep end. Totally. After so long worshipping the sacred political Brahma of global warming, he's totally lost touch with anything else. Except, apparently, twinkies.
That's not the good part though. As if his fantasy bogeyman 'global warming' wasn't a frightening enough scenario, Al Gore has uncovered an explosive 'new truth.' Never mind vehicle exhaust, cow flatulence, or any of the other 619,233 things we've been told aggravate global warming, there is one factor we never saw coming.

Al Gore, savior of humanity has revealed this truth to the United Nations. I hope you're sitting down, which, since you're on a computer you probably are.

Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore warned hundreds of U.N. diplomats and staff on Thursday evening about the perils of climate change, claiming: Cigarette smoking is a "significant contributor to global warming!"

Oh, come off it Al. Seriously. I'm not a smoker, and I don't really even like to be around smokers since cigarettes make my eyes burn like hell so I'm definitely not saying this for their benefit: Al Gore is full of it and he knows full well.

Then:

Gore had his staff opened a stack of cardboard boxes to begin selling
his new book, "An Inconvenient Truth, The Planetary Emergency of Global Warming and What We Can Do About It," $19.95, to the U.N. diplomats.

Gore: Cigarette Smoking Significant Contributor to Global Warming

technorati tags: Al+Gore global+warming cigarettes environment An+Inconvenient+Truth

Mexico: Border Fence Is Shameful

Sometimes when reading the news, I get the distinct feeling that my blood pressure could conceivably cause my eyeballs to rocket out of my head and slam into the screen. Tonight is one of those nights. Mexico, get this, is (are you ready?) opposed to a U.S. border fence. Imagine that.

Mexico warned Thursday that the U.S. proposal to build miles of border
fence will damage relations between the two countries.

The Foreign Relations Department said it was "deeply worried" about the
proposal, which is working its way through the Senate, adding it will "increase
tension in border communities."

"These measures will harm the bilateral relationship. They are
against the spirit of co-operation that is needed to guarantee security on the
common border," the department said in a statement.

President Vicente Fox has rallied against the wall, calling it
"shameful" and comparing it to the Berlin Wall, which divided
Germany.

Can we just mine the border and be done with this crap?

Mexico Opposed to U.S. Border Fence

technorati tags: Mexico Vicente+Fox Illegal+Immigration Border+Patrol

Dogs vs. Pirates

We can all rest easier at night now that the MPAA has DVD sniffing dogs in its anti-piracy arsenal. That's right, two specially trained Labrador retrievers are now on a global mission to defend America from the evils of copyright infringement. In what I've termed Operation Useless Publicity Stunt:

The Motion Picture Association of America on Thursday unveiled its latest
tool in the war on movie piracy: a pair of DVD-sniffing Labrador Retrievers
named Lucky and Flo.

The job for Lucky and Flo will be to sniff out optical discs in luggage or other containers, and stop the discs from getting to manufacturing plants where they can be reproduced.

But before they begin their new job, Lucky and Flo will go on a world tour
of cities such as Hong Kong and Singapore, just as movie stars go on tour to promote their latest films.

Hollywood unleashes dogs in war on movie piracy

technorati tags: MPAA piracy movies copyright+infringement DVD

Treasure Chest

I've got to...um...hand it to these people; they managed to come up with something definitely not a run of the mill scam:

A fee of 25,500 euros ($32,000) is way too much for a woman to charge a man for fondling her bosom, a Finnish district court ruled.

The court jailed a couple in their twenties for more than a year for charging a 74-year-old who suffers from dementia a total of 25,500 euros to enjoy the woman's breasts on 10 occasions.

"Based on general life experience alone, it is indisputably clear that a 25,500 euro charge is disproportionate to the compensation in question," Judge Hasse Hakki, who heard the case, told Reuters Friday.

Maybe not, but then again, there was no picture of this girl either. For the right set $32,000 might just be a bargain, if that is, her cups runneth over.

technorati tags: Helsinki finland odd breasts scam

Tastes Like Chicken

I thought I would be back sharing my discoveries with my faithful masses of fans on Saturday, but alas, I missed that deadline. Today I bring you the greatest promotion of all time:

The [Six Flags] park in Gurnee, Illinois, is joining other Six Flags parks in offering unlimited line-jumping privileges to anyone who eats a live Madagascar hissing cockroach. The bugs are up to three inches long.

Personally, I think it's a sweet idea for several reasons. Look at it this way. The people who will do this aren't people you probably want to stand in line with anyway.

No more sweaty fat goth dudes with more straps on their pants than an S&M club smelling up the area with their unwashed goodness. Maybe this is a biased statement, having come from personal experience, but the point holds true.

Second, if the ride breaks, isn't it better to have this dude find out before you?

Lastly, cockroaches, like most goths, are unpleasant to look at and the world is generally better off without them. I really don't see the problem here, unlike PETA.

PETA Upset at Six Flags roach eating contest

technorati tags: Six+Flags hissing+cockroach contest goth

Still Taking in Oxygen

I'm not dead, and I haven't abandoned my small but growing legion of devoted groupies. I've just taken a few days to work on some top secret uber important business projects. No need to fret. I should resume regular posting Saturday. That's today for those of you too lazy to remember.

It's Fun To Stay at the Y-M-C-A

Village People, watch out.

technorati tags: Hugo+Chavez Mahmoud+Ahmadinejad

Shrooms, the Muslim Way

Ok kids, today's lesson in Islamic hypocrisy and media bias is about to begin, so grab a nice cold drink and let the following sink in:

Every Muslim between here and Neptune who can get their face in the press is seething with rage at the Pope's (hoorahs be upon him) comments that Islam is essentially violent. How untrue, they cry. How slanderous.

Yet:

Final preparations have been made for the American Hiroshima, a major attack on the U. S.

* Muslims living in the United States should leave the country without further warning.

* The attack will be commandeered by Adnan el Shukrijumah (“Jaffer Tayyer” or “Jafer the Pilot”), a naturalized American citizen, who was raised in Brooklyn and educated in southern Florida.

* The al Qaeda operatives who will launch this attack are awaiting final orders. They remain in place in cities throughout the country. Many are masquerading as Christians and have adopted Christian names.

And, most exciting of all:

* The American people will be treated to a final audio message from Osama bin Laden which will be aired within the next two weeks.

They'd better hope they get in one hell of a good hit because I guarantee it'll be their last one; we'll convert their sandbox into the biggest sheet of glass the world's ever seen.

technorati tags: Adnan+El+Shukrijumah al+Qaeda terrorism Islam Nuclear U.S.

Say We're Peaceful Or We'll Kill You

The Muslim world reacts to the Pope's comment that Islam is violent. Way to prove him wrong, jackasses.

technorati tags: Islam Muslim Pope+Benedict Religion+Of+Peace middle+east

The Religion of Peace Pissed Off Again

The Pope has managed to piss off Muslims. Apparently by still being alive.

The furor over comments made by Pope Benedict about the Islamic concept of Holy War continues to grow. Today British Muslims joined in, fiercely criticising his remarks.

The pontiff was accused of falling into "the trap of bigots and racists...when it comes to judging Islam on the actions of a small number of extreme elements."

This argument is getting really, REALLY tired. Apparently, if you listen to Muslim apologists, there are only a few 'bad muslims' and the rest of them are really just swell. Consider the words of Ibn Warraq, author of 'Why I am Not a Muslim:

"Islam is a totalitarian ideology that aims to control the religious, social, and political life of mankind in all its aspects. And I mean Islam. I do not accept some spurious distinction between Islam and Islamic ‘fundamentalism” or “Islamic terrorists.” Their actions reflect the teachings of Islam, whether found in the Koran, in the acts and teachings of the Prophet Mohammad, or in the Islamic law, (Sharia) based on them.”

No...we must misunderstand the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad. Right?

The Pope's speech quoted from a book recounting a conversation between 14th century Byzantine Christian Emperor Manuel Paleologos II and an educated Persian on the truths of Christianity and Islam.

"The emperor comes to speak about the issue of jihad, holy war," the Pope said.

"He said, I quote, 'Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached'."

There's nothing bigoted or racist about it. Islam is inherently violent. Deal with it.

Let's take Osama Bin Laden's own words into consideration for a moment:

“We, with God’s help, call on every Muslim who believes in God and wishes to be rewarded to comply with God’s order to kill the Americans and plunder their money...divide their nation, tear them to shreds, destroy their economy, burn their companies, ruin their welfare, sink their ships, and kill them on land, sea, and air.”

Does that sound peaceful? Murder, plunder, and destruction. Allah must be a really nice guy. I guess that's why his Koran has such nice passages as:

• Make war on them until idolatry shall cease and God’s religion shall reign supreme. (Koran 8:39)
• Slay the idolators wherever you find them...lie in ambush everywhere for them. (Koran 9:5)
• When you meet the unbelievers in battle strike off their heads. (Koran 47:4)
• Fighting is obligatory for you, much as you may dislike it. (Koran 2:216)
• Believers! Make war on the infidels who dwell around you, let them find harshness in you. (Koran 9:123)
  

And that's just a small sample. But back to the ruckus over the Pope:

Pakistan's parliament condemned the "derogatory" remarks today and demanded an apology. The country's foreign ministry said they were "regrettable" and claimed they would encourage violence.

Encourage violence? Among the believers of such a friendly, nice religion? More like it would give them an excuse to go out and murder and destroy and feel justified.

This IS a holy war, people. And it's not the west who started it.

Muslim fury grows at Pope's speech

technorati tags: Islam Muslim Pope+Benedict Terrorism Muhammad War

The Greatest Book Ever Written

I really don't know what to say. I saw this tonight at the local discount store; nothing like having a post literally handed to you.

USAF - Aim lower...a little left. There.

When I read this, I thought my brain was literally going to burst out of my head.

Nonlethal weapons such as high-power microwave devices should be used on American citizens in crowd-control situations before they are used on the battlefield, the Air Force secretary said Tuesday.

Domestic use would make it easier to avoid questions in the international community over any possible safety concerns, said Air Force Secretary Michael Wynne.

Safety concerns? Over a weapon? What the hell? Lethal or non-lethal, it's a WEAPON. It's supposed to do some form of harm. If you want something totally safe, how about just going up to rioters and criminals and asking them nicely to behave.

"If we're not willing to use it here against our fellow citizens, then we should not be willing to use it in a wartime situation," said Wynne.

Who the hell is this guy, a Saddam Hussein fan club member? We generally don't use artillery shells on our citizens, but we sure as hell have no problem lobing them at baddies on the battlefield. What kind of goose and gander rubric is he daydreaming about?

The worst part is yet to come. Get a load of this:

"(Because) if I hit somebody with a nonlethal weapon and they claim that it injured them in a way that was not intended, I think that I would be vilified in the world press."

Oh my GOD. Then just shoot the sons of bitches. Sometimes the old fashioned way really IS better.

Test nonlethal weapons on U.S. citizens, official says

technorati tags: Air+Force nonlethal+weapons war military

What a Shocker!

I have to admit feeling a little bit like an asshole for finding this funny:

A Vietnamese man who once appeared on national television to demonstrate his ability to resist electric shocks has been electrocuted while repairing a generator, an official said Tuesday.

Nguyen Van Hung, aged in his early 40s, was killed in Tay Ninh province near the Cambodian border while repairing the generator without first cutting the power supply, a local official said.

"When alive, he used to demonstrate at our office how he would insert two fingers into the electrical plughole without problems," the official said.

Sorry, pal, but if you're sticking your damn fingers into wall sockets, you actually do have problems.

Electric Man Electrocuted

technorati tags: vietnam odd stupid electrocution death

Of Linux and Backups

Not too long ago I more or less killed my iBook by giving it a lethal milk injection. Three days later (coincidence, I think not!) it came back from the dead. Ok, so it came back from the dead running dog slow and glitching up repeatedly, but it still kind of runs.

Since the resurrection, the laptop has been the exclusive property of my wife for some unknown reason. I acquired a new (used) laptop, preloaded with Windows XP, much to my chagrin. Sure, it's a laptop, but was I ready for Windows again after more than a year?

Booting into Windows again after so long gave me the mother of all piss-shivers. The random crashes, freezes and such were all right there where I remembered them. After a few days of that, I decided to install Freespire linux and dual boot. I'm NOT a linux geek at all, and having had some experience with the Lindows/Linspire product, I figured what the hell.

I really had no desire to learn all the geekery of Linux just yet, I simply wanted a nice looking, more secure OS that worked with a minimum of fuss. I set up a new partition, dual booted, and all was bliss for a few days. I realized suddenly upon a failed reboot that I'd made a mistake somewhere down the line, and had lost both my Windows and Linux partitions to the wind.

So, I bucked up and reinstalled Freespire, this time taking over the entire hard drive. Thirteen minutes and I was back in an OS, two more configuring my wireless setup and internet surfing recommenced.

During the crash, I lost several albums worth of MP3s I'd saved in my Freespire partition, and I was rightfully upset. I stewed for a few minutes and then remembered I'd set up an account on the Mp3tunes.com site and registered for one of their free 'Oboe' music lockers. I'd synced up all my songs the night before the crash, so hope flooded back into my heart.

I opened the built in Oboe-Sync utility in Freespire and boom...all my music came right on down those big fat data tubes and into my hard drive. I have now officially learned that:

1. Backups are a GOOD thing
2. Oboe is a very, very nice little app
3. Linux is more fun than Windows, if only because it's NOT Windows
4. I am a recovering Apple snob
5. My wife is oddly tolerant of my uber-hot Charlotte Church wallpapers
   

Over all, everything else I've tried on Freespire has worked nicely. It boots in half the time Windows takes, it works with every file format I've thrown at it thus far, and it sure does look purty.

technorati tags: Freespire Linspire linux backups Charlotte+Church MP3

Wait, Weren't We The Bad Guys?

I thought the U.S. was 'the bad guy' in Iraq. With all of the news reports and people endlessly bitching about Abu Ghraib and how taking photographs of prisoners on leashes was torture, we obviously were the most uncivilized brutes ever to set foot in the country.

Apparently not. Now that we've handed Abu Ghraib over to the Iraqis, the prisoners suddenly want us back.

The notorious Abu Ghraib prison in Baghdad is at the centre of fresh abuse allegations just a week after it was handed over to Iraqi authorities, with claims that inmates are being tortured by their new captors.

Some of the small number of prisoners who remained in the jail after the Americans left said they had pleaded to go with their departing captors, rather than be left in the hands of Iraqi guards.

"The Americans were better than the Iraqis. They treated us better," said Khalid Alaani, who was held on suspicion of involvement in Sunni terrorism.

The witness said that even in the thieves' section prisoners were being treated badly. "Someone was shouting 'Please help us, we want the human rights officers, we want the Americans to come back'," he said.

And Khalid Alaani, who was also picked up in Ramadi suspected of involvement in Sunni terrorism, said: "We preferred the Americans. We asked to move with them to Baghdad airport because we knew the treatment would be changed because we know what the Iraqis are. When the Americans left everything changed."

They are no longer allowed access to the main hall where the Americans had allowed them to watch television and the room is now reserved for the use of officers and guards.

To the poor little prisoners of Abu Ghraib: you bastards wanted us to leave; we did. Enjoy.

Tortured screams ring out as Iraqis take over Abu Ghraib

technorati tags: Abu+Ghraib Iraq terrorism detainees torture

RetARTed

I tend to think of myself as an art purist; I enjoy it for its own sake. I've never been one to find political or social messages in artwork appealing. I look at art as the expression of creativity, but I look at art with an agenda as...well...not art.

I do understand the desire to express ones beliefs in a creative outlet, but when you push a specific agenda, just call it what it is, be it a political, religious, or social commentary.

I also have a very low tolerance for 'political art' that pushes not just a particular agenda, but an ill-thought out one. Case in point, the latest escapade by the notorious 'Banksy.'

A life-size replica of a Guantanamo Bay detainee has been placed in Disneyland by "guerrilla artist" Banksy.

The figure, complete with orange jumpsuit, was placed inside the Rocky Mountain Railroad ride last weekend.

A spokeswoman for Banksy said the stunt was intended to highlight the plight of terror suspects at the controversial detention centre in Cuba.

What in the hell is that supposed to mean? The 'plight' of terror suspects? What the fuck? It's not like those people are at Gitmo because they're grade-school teachers and all around nice guys. They are suspected of being or helping TERRORISTS. People who fucking KILL people to get their point across. Like shrewd self-promoters like the 'mysterious' Banksy, terrorists usually choose their M.O. because they know no better way to effect change and thus have to resort to their 'stunts.'

Bansky himself doesn't even consider his 'work' to be 'art'

"I don't know. We were talking about this the other day. I'm using the word vandalism a lot with the show. You know what hip-hop has done with the word 'nigger' - I'm trying to do that with the word vandalism, bring it back."

How admirable. I rest my case.

Banksy targets Disneyland

technorati tags: Banksy / graffiti / Disneyland / Guantanamo+Bay / Gitmo / terrorism / detainee

I Remember

Trust Is Earned, Not Given

Mohammed Khatami's whirlwind propaganda tour of the U.S. goes on; I still can't help but wonder what the reaction would be if a U.S. head of state spent two weeks traveling around Iran trying to convince Iranians that their foreign policies are to blame for global instability and foment terrorism. (Ironically, that would in fact be the truth.)

I'm sure they'd welcome our envoy with open arms. Right. So why are we listening to this jackass who

"refused, for example, to back off a previous comparison between [President Bush] and Osama bin Laden."

He also said the US was partly to blame (of course) for the turmoil in the Middle East.

"As a result of such wrong policies, such unilateral, violent policies, that is - the voice of logic has decreased and voice of terror and attractiveness of terror unfortunately among youth has increased,"

I love it. Our violent policies make terrorism attractive to youth. I was under the opinion that fundamentalist hardline rule and complete control of the media by the government were responsible for that.

As if that's not enough, Khatami weighed in on the allegations that Iran is attempting to acquire nuclear weapons.

"Why should they not trust Iran?" CNN quoted him as saying. "See, at this moment, Iran is a signatory to the treaty, has declared many times it has no interest in building the nuclear bomb."

Let's see. Among other reasons, the refusal of the Iranian government to allow inspectors into suspected weapons research sites is enough to raise a few red flags. Of course, no apologist propaganda bullshit response like that is complete without mentioning that Iran is a signatory to the NPT, neglecting to mention that on numerous occasions, Iran has threatened to pull out of that exact treaty. Red flag number two.

These are just the tip of the iceberg, of course, but it puts Khatami's comments in the proper context. Worthless.

Khatami slams Bush during US visit

Related: Iran Under Khatami: Weapons of Mass Destruction

technorati tags: Mohammed+Khatami Iran Nuclear Terrorism Proliferation War

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

The Drudge Report headline at the moment is a real show stopper.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is planning to come to New York City and debate President Bush on the floor of the UN. According to initial reports,

Ahmadinejad said in Tehran Wednesday that his attendance of the UN General Assembly would be a "suitable opportunity" to challenge Bush in a television debate.

"My forthcoming visit to New York for the UN General Assembly would be a suitable opportunity to hold the debate and all world people, especially the Americans, could hear and watch it without censorship," the news agency ISNA quoted the Iranian president as saying in a cabinet session.

Now Assholemadinejad is concerned with censorship? That's rather interesting as JohanNorberg.net points out:

"Since 2000, Iran´s reactionary judiciary has closed down more than 100 newspapers because they were too oppositional and reformist, Iran censors the Internet and no country has arrested more bloggers. Bush should have accepted the invitation, on the condition that Iran´s media gets the same freedom to report as the American media has."

According to Ahmadinejad,

"We have proposals and are ready to present models for better governance of the world, establishment of global justice, well being of world nations, better understanding of one another, all-encompassing love and friendship, and elimination of the atmosphere of enmity, harshness, threats, and insults."

"It is possible to prove in a debate which of the two political systems is a better choice for the world nations: the one that is established based on the norms of liberalism and has caused so much dilemmas and plight for the mankind, or the one that is established based on monotheism and justice?"

The amount of bullshit coming from the Iranian regime is staggering; Goebbels must be having an orgasm in hell just thinking about it. Of course, I'm expecting the left wing Ahmadinejad love fest to begin anytime now, since they're shuddering with anticipation like the giddy little bastards they are anytime they get a chance to badmouth the U.S.

Letting this jackass in the country is like inviting bin Laden to a family barbeque.

technorati tags: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Iran terrorism terror Iranian+President UN Bush

Spine Sighted In Massachusetts

Mitt Romney just earned some brownie-points in my book:

Governor Mitt Romney declared yesterday he would not allow any state resources to be used to protect a former Iranian president during his visit to the Boston area this weekend, and he sharply criticized Harvard University for inviting Mohammed Khatami to speak on the eve of the fifth anniversary of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks.

Romney said that he expected the State Department at a meeting scheduled for today to request a State Police escort and other traffic services, but that he had called yesterday to inform them that no such services would be provided.

``There are people in this state who have suffered from terrorism, and taking even a dollar of their money to support a terrorist is unacceptable..."

``The shock of the commemoration of a great tragedy coinciding with the visit of a terrorist to our state was too great to go unnoticed," Romney said. ``For that reason, I have directed state resources not to be used to ease or encourage his visit."

Of course, within the next 24 hours I'm sure we'll all be hearing that he's a racist hatemongering Islamophobe. If that's the case, then we need more racist hatemongering Islamophobes just like him.

Romney bars state security for Iranian's Harvard visit

technorati tags: Khatami Harvard Romney terrorist terrorism Islam Muslim Iran

US Army Refuses To Protect Troops

From the 'what the f*ck are they thinking?' files:

Sixteen months ago, commanders in Iraq began asking the Pentagon for a new system to counter RPGs and other anti-tank weapons. Last year, a special Pentagon unit thought it found a solution in Israel — a high-tech system that shoots RPGs out of the sky.

The system is called “Trophy,” and it is designed to fit on top of tanks and other armored vehicles like the Stryker now in use in Iraq.

OFT officials subjected Trophy to 30 tests and found that it is “more than 98 percent” effective at killing RPGs....

So why is the Army refusing to deploy Trophy?

Army brass considers the Israeli system a threat to an Army program to develop an RPG defense system from scratch.

Col. Donald Kotchman, who heads the Army’s program to develop an RPG defense, acknowledges that Raytheon’s system won’t be ready for fielding until 2011 at the earliest.

“This debate has nothing, zero, to do with capability or timeliness. It’s about money and politics. You’ve got a gigantic program [FCS] and contractors with intertwined interests. Trophy was one of the most successful systems we’ve tested, and yet the Army has ensured that it won’t be part of FCS and is now trying to prevent it from being included on the Strykers” that OFT planned to send to Iraq.

Terrorists and insurgents will now sleep more soundly knowing it's that much easier to get at our people. This type of bullshit graft is despicable and heads should literally roll for it.

technorati tags: trophy army rpg weapons war israel terrorism tank

An 'Ally' No More

Osama bin Laden, America's most wanted man, will not face capture in
Pakistan if he agrees to lead a "peaceful life," Pakistani officials tell ABC News.

The surprising announcement comes as Pakistani army officials
announced they were pulling their troops out of the North Waziristan region as
part of a "peace deal" with the Taliban.

If he is in Pakistan, bin Laden "would not be taken into custody," Major General Shaukat Sultan Khan told ABC News in a telephone interview, "as long as one is being like a peaceful citizen."

I'd say this is a case of throwing in the towel, but that would indicate they'd held the towel in the first place.

technorati tags: bin+laden pakistan terrorism islam muslim jihad

The Crocodile Hunter

Well damn. I woke up this morning to the news that Steve Irwin is dead. It took me a few minutes to actually realize it was real. I've always found him to be one of the more entertaining people on TV as well as one of the most likable. Watching 'The Crocodile Hunter' on TV always left me with the sense that I'd learned something by hanging out with a friend; and it was always fun to sit with my kids and explain all the neat animals he was profiling.

It's so rare to find such a genuine, likable person with such a love for his work and such a way of making it enjoyable to the public. Steve Irwin had a way of tricking you into learning while you thought you were just being entertained.

His personality made him seem like someone I'd known for years, though I'd never had the pleasure of meeting him. My heart hurts for his family, especially given the random nature of his death. My heart also hurts for the loss of such a charismatic, enthusiastic person. The world, and millions of fans, will miss him.

Rest in peace, Steve.

technorati tags: steve+irwin crocodile+hunter stingray

Belt Buckle Madness

I'm pretty much fed up with politics at the moment, as you may have noticed from my recent lack of updates. I took a little time off to decide what to write about in light of the burn out I'm going through, and I think that unless something seriously interesting happens in the news, I'm going back to basics and will post more often about what's really important. Me.

I must have gotten stuck in some kind of weird social timewarp until recently; I stepped out into public and have noticed that guys everywhere have begun to flaunt their belt buckles. I guess I'm still stuck in the mindset of not tucking in a shirt unless I'm going formal but I think I've missed the boat.

Every time I go anywhere I'm seeing more and more guys wearing their t-shirts tucked behind their belt buckle in the front and letting their shit dangle in the rear. Yes, I said shit, not shirt.

So aside from a few 'DC' belt buckles and a few redneck style, big as a dinner plate ones that simply beg to be shown off, what's the deal with this fad? Did I miss the announcement or something? I'm seriously entertaining the idea of going to the Pakistani owned kiosk at the local mall and picking up one of those 30 dollar LED programmable belt buckles and setting it to flash 'Belt Buckle' and then joining the trend just for shits and giggles.

Liquor Store Zen

That about says it all.

Blood, Sweat, and Tears

The past week now I've been working with my wife's father on a landscape lighting project at a mega-rich person's house in the DC area. Rich as in huge house, gorgeous yard, two german sports cars, multiple custom motorcycles and all the trappings. I've learned a few things from the experience of installing landscape lighting that are worth noting.

First, manual labor in 90 degree plus weather sucks. I'm proud to admit I'm an air conditioning afficionado and it's only with a great deal of difficulty that I've learned how the other half works. The first day of the project, I thought I was actually beginning the process of dying just as we knocked off for the day. The second day, I learned that losing some weight might not be a bad idea for more than just my health. Dropping some weight might help me reduce the surface area of my body available to the nearly infinite number of mosquitos hovering around me in the chokingly thick air.

On day three, I learned that wearing shorts without mosquito repellant on day two was a really, REALLY bad idea. My legs look like I absorbed several shotgun blasts at medium range, and the itching is unbearable. I also learned that chiggers are not your friends. OFF brand 'Active' spray is effectively the defensive hand of God.

Day four taught me to drink ice water directly from the dirty spout of an unwashed cooler without flinching, as well as to appreciate an unexpected gift of gatorade as if it were liquid life.

Time to go rest up for day five.

technorati tags: landscaping / lighting / labor / work / mosquito