I have no idea who compiled this, but it's utterly fucking brilliant.
Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till."
After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him.
Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhouse kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.
When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger; it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked in the face that day.
If you unscramble the letters in "Chuck Norris" you get "Huck corn, sir." That is why every fall, Chuck travels to Nebraska and burns the entire state down.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".
Chuck Norris often asks people to pull his finger. When they do, he roundhouses them in the abdomen. Then he farts.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity." then you are dead wrong.
Chuck Norris uses a live rattle snake for a condom.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f--k with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
If you get any closer...
Kelly and I went to Toys R' Us to look for some Christmas presents for Jack and Aeryn; what happened was that we ended up leaving twenty minutes later with me in a royally foul mood. What could happen in a simple toy store you may ask?
The Human Enema. That's what. Worse, they were yuppies. Real honest-to-goodness BMW driving, trenchcoat sporting, soap opera named ones. If there's one thing I can not stand when I'm at the store, it's the human enema. For example, when I'm walking through the mall and some jerkoff walks so closely behind me I'd be unable to squeeze a fart out between us. Usually there's nobody on either side of me and no reason under the sun they couldn't simply walk around me if they're in that much of a hurry. But no, oh no, they'd much rather form a suction seal on my ass.
I was looking at one of those electronic writing toys that teach kids to spell; my niece could really benefit from one and I'd seen them on TV and wanted to check them out in person. I walked up to it, pressed two buttons and picked up the pen that came with it, and all of the sudden, out of nowhere comes 'Trinity' marching up behind me. Slinking is probably a better word, she just appeared in my peripheral vision. She was close. Very close. Just standing there silently in her trenchcoat, peering over my shoulder with exaggerated jerks of her neck, 'straining' to see around me.
I got pissed (go German temper!) and stepped away making a comment about not being able to focus when someone was crawling into my anus. I turned around and she spits off 'Oh, Devon, come see this!'
Devon had on a nice buton up shirt tucked into his designer jeans. His metrosexual ensemble was completed by a pair of $500 italian leather shoes and a matching jacket which he carried flung waiter-style over his arm. For some unknown reason, it just popped into my head that they must have a BMW. I even made a comment to Kelly to this effect.
A few minutes and several frustrating encounters with 'Trinity' and Devon later, we left. As we got to the car, what was parked next to us? A black BMW with sport rims. I'm sure they managed to fit the Power-Wheels ride-on Hummer in the backseat so they could take it home and appease the materialistic demands of their yuppie spawn on Materialismas.
The Human Enema. That's what. Worse, they were yuppies. Real honest-to-goodness BMW driving, trenchcoat sporting, soap opera named ones. If there's one thing I can not stand when I'm at the store, it's the human enema. For example, when I'm walking through the mall and some jerkoff walks so closely behind me I'd be unable to squeeze a fart out between us. Usually there's nobody on either side of me and no reason under the sun they couldn't simply walk around me if they're in that much of a hurry. But no, oh no, they'd much rather form a suction seal on my ass.
I was looking at one of those electronic writing toys that teach kids to spell; my niece could really benefit from one and I'd seen them on TV and wanted to check them out in person. I walked up to it, pressed two buttons and picked up the pen that came with it, and all of the sudden, out of nowhere comes 'Trinity' marching up behind me. Slinking is probably a better word, she just appeared in my peripheral vision. She was close. Very close. Just standing there silently in her trenchcoat, peering over my shoulder with exaggerated jerks of her neck, 'straining' to see around me.
I got pissed (go German temper!) and stepped away making a comment about not being able to focus when someone was crawling into my anus. I turned around and she spits off 'Oh, Devon, come see this!'
Devon had on a nice buton up shirt tucked into his designer jeans. His metrosexual ensemble was completed by a pair of $500 italian leather shoes and a matching jacket which he carried flung waiter-style over his arm. For some unknown reason, it just popped into my head that they must have a BMW. I even made a comment to Kelly to this effect.
A few minutes and several frustrating encounters with 'Trinity' and Devon later, we left. As we got to the car, what was parked next to us? A black BMW with sport rims. I'm sure they managed to fit the Power-Wheels ride-on Hummer in the backseat so they could take it home and appease the materialistic demands of their yuppie spawn on Materialismas.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
B to the Izzo T to tha CH
I haven't had an anti-in law moment in a while now, and evidently I was overdue. I sometimes wonder if God created my Mother In Law specifically to be my arch-nemesis. She's my Lex Luthor, I swear to God. Every thought that somehow sparks in her head has not only the qualitative features of feces, but also the aroma. I seriously wonder if she's even aware of the near-infinite degree of utter arrogance she posesses. I could rant about this for hours, days even. But, I'll spare you the chance reader the full brunt of the story.
Here's the latest entry. Jack was upstairs playing for a bit and decided he wanted to get out his little play tunnel and crawl around in the living room quietly. She suddenly demands (!!???) he put it away. Why? 'I can't stand kids playing after 8 pm.'
I stood in the doorway, the smile on my face from watching my son play slowly fading as a feeling of 'What in the fuck did I just hear come out of her mouth?' washed over me like a wave of fresh bullshit. I've learned over the years to not bother attempting to respond. It's wasted breath. I'd have a better response rate trying to convince corpses to get up and do the cha-cha-cha.
i just grabbed Jack, gave him lots of love, and took him to bed. Not to placate her, but to get him the hell out of her unholy sight. He doesn't need to be exposed to that, and neither do I. I turned to Kelly, and said simply, "I'm going downstairs." I took Jack to bed and came downstairs to vent. I wonder if she realizes that every time she's around and says something stupid I leave. My God I wish someone would give her some kind of anti-bitch pil. She makes my skin crawl, and this is only the latest mild example of why.
Here's the latest entry. Jack was upstairs playing for a bit and decided he wanted to get out his little play tunnel and crawl around in the living room quietly. She suddenly demands (!!???) he put it away. Why? 'I can't stand kids playing after 8 pm.'
I stood in the doorway, the smile on my face from watching my son play slowly fading as a feeling of 'What in the fuck did I just hear come out of her mouth?' washed over me like a wave of fresh bullshit. I've learned over the years to not bother attempting to respond. It's wasted breath. I'd have a better response rate trying to convince corpses to get up and do the cha-cha-cha.
i just grabbed Jack, gave him lots of love, and took him to bed. Not to placate her, but to get him the hell out of her unholy sight. He doesn't need to be exposed to that, and neither do I. I turned to Kelly, and said simply, "I'm going downstairs." I took Jack to bed and came downstairs to vent. I wonder if she realizes that every time she's around and says something stupid I leave. My God I wish someone would give her some kind of anti-bitch pil. She makes my skin crawl, and this is only the latest mild example of why.
Television is the Antichrist
We're sitting here in the living room watching kids TV shows. More precisely, Kelly is sleeping on the couch, Jack is watching Blue's Clues, and I'm sitting here with the computer on my lap. Now that I've successfully managed to illustrate the situation, I've got a few thoughts on TV.
While I was selling cars, I virtually never watched TV. I lost track of Battlestar Galactica, which was my favorite show at the time, and now I really couldn't care whether I pick back up with it or not. It's a little odd to actually be home so much and get to watch so much TV. I forgot exactly how little I really liked it to begin with.
Jack loves Blue's Clues, the Wiggles, Dora the Explorer and Go Diego Go. I've watched about 700 episodes of each, and I can still tolerate them. Dora and Diego are a little creepy with their oversized eyes. I think they wait for the parents watching the show to look away so they can do something obscene. They also get into these situations where they want the kids watching to shout out a word, so they'll say something like "You have to say backpack. Say backpack!" That in and of itself is quite harmless, but it's the unnaturally long pause they then take while staring unflinchingly at my son. He stares back. They seem to wait about 5 seconds too long for the kids to actually respond. Maybe I'm just being weird, but it creeps me out.
All in all the kids shows seem to be pretty good. I wish I could say the same for the stuff Kelly watches, but I just can't. I love her to death, but she's an avid watcher of 7th Heaven. There I said it. I married a 7th Heaven fan. Every week, it's virtually the same setup. One of the kids says or does something, or avoids saying or doing something, which causes some colossal misunderstanding amongst the rest of the family. Hilarity ensues. (Not really, but that's the intent.) Then at the end of the episode, there's a big preachy resolution and the kid gets in some sort of minor trouble for causing the whole shenanigan. All of this set to acoustic guitar riffs.
It's either that or some show about people buying a house, remodeling a house, remodeling a yard, building a house for poor people, cleaning out a house, having a fashion makeover or a baby. In and of themselves, the shows aren't THAT bad...well, some of them are. What really drives me insane is the fact that they deem it necessary to play about 15 of them in a row.
Ugh. Yes, I hate TV.
While I was selling cars, I virtually never watched TV. I lost track of Battlestar Galactica, which was my favorite show at the time, and now I really couldn't care whether I pick back up with it or not. It's a little odd to actually be home so much and get to watch so much TV. I forgot exactly how little I really liked it to begin with.
Jack loves Blue's Clues, the Wiggles, Dora the Explorer and Go Diego Go. I've watched about 700 episodes of each, and I can still tolerate them. Dora and Diego are a little creepy with their oversized eyes. I think they wait for the parents watching the show to look away so they can do something obscene. They also get into these situations where they want the kids watching to shout out a word, so they'll say something like "You have to say backpack. Say backpack!" That in and of itself is quite harmless, but it's the unnaturally long pause they then take while staring unflinchingly at my son. He stares back. They seem to wait about 5 seconds too long for the kids to actually respond. Maybe I'm just being weird, but it creeps me out.
All in all the kids shows seem to be pretty good. I wish I could say the same for the stuff Kelly watches, but I just can't. I love her to death, but she's an avid watcher of 7th Heaven. There I said it. I married a 7th Heaven fan. Every week, it's virtually the same setup. One of the kids says or does something, or avoids saying or doing something, which causes some colossal misunderstanding amongst the rest of the family. Hilarity ensues. (Not really, but that's the intent.) Then at the end of the episode, there's a big preachy resolution and the kid gets in some sort of minor trouble for causing the whole shenanigan. All of this set to acoustic guitar riffs.
It's either that or some show about people buying a house, remodeling a house, remodeling a yard, building a house for poor people, cleaning out a house, having a fashion makeover or a baby. In and of themselves, the shows aren't THAT bad...well, some of them are. What really drives me insane is the fact that they deem it necessary to play about 15 of them in a row.
Ugh. Yes, I hate TV.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Baked Apples, Cold Peaches, and Headbanging
The past two days I've been wringing my hands over what in the name of all things holy was causing my iBook to run at an obscenely high temperature even at idle. Just turning it on it spiked to over 170 degrees, which was a little un-nerving to say the very least. Jack accidentally broke my power brick, so I have to replace that as it is. Staring another repair in the face was making me sweat. Sure enough, a little peek under the hood revealed my stupid HP printer drivers were sucking up 98% of my CPU cycles. I quit the process and breathed a little easier when the temperature dropped over 30 degrees right off the bat. HP, get your shit together, seriously. I dropped my Compaq to go Apple, and I will gladly find another printer manufacturer. Carly really f*cked you guys up in more ways than I thought possible.
We took the kids to the park to play tonight, but it was particularly cold. We ended up bundling them up in the strollers and doing a quick lap of the park, and for some reason, I was the only one complaining. I'm the one who usually drives with the AC on even in winter. I'm always the one who is too hot, and I was shivering like a chihuahua on crack.
Speaking of hot, I've been expanding my digital music collection now that I've finally managed to wrestle my laptop away from Kelly. I finally fixed her PC and now she's spoiled by the bliss that is Mac. Ugh. That's an entirely seperate post. I just got the new CD by Demon Hunter, called The Triptych. These guys are awesome, it's Metal at the core, with plenty of melodic moments and actual singing woven in. You've got to hear it to understand. It's catchy as anything, and definitely a must listen. I 'm listening to it as I write this, and I've already hit repeat more than once on more than one track. It's that good.
We took the kids to the park to play tonight, but it was particularly cold. We ended up bundling them up in the strollers and doing a quick lap of the park, and for some reason, I was the only one complaining. I'm the one who usually drives with the AC on even in winter. I'm always the one who is too hot, and I was shivering like a chihuahua on crack.
Speaking of hot, I've been expanding my digital music collection now that I've finally managed to wrestle my laptop away from Kelly. I finally fixed her PC and now she's spoiled by the bliss that is Mac. Ugh. That's an entirely seperate post. I just got the new CD by Demon Hunter, called The Triptych. These guys are awesome, it's Metal at the core, with plenty of melodic moments and actual singing woven in. You've got to hear it to understand. It's catchy as anything, and definitely a must listen. I 'm listening to it as I write this, and I've already hit repeat more than once on more than one track. It's that good.
Friday, November 11, 2005
Do you do the Dew too?
Mountain Dew has done it. They've officially created the most addictive energy drink ever. For some reason this new 'MDX' soda has me completely hooked. It takes some wickedly powerful stuff to actually get me firing on all cylinders and this manages to do it. Only Red Bull (blech!) has been able to manage that herculean task up till now.
While sitting here sipping on it, I got the urge to look it up online, and came across the Death by Caffeine site. I love the calculator that tells you how much of the stuff you'd have to drink in order for it to literally kill you. Looks like my German genetics would let me down a full 195 bottles of the strangely anti-freeze looking brew before I kicked the bucket. Not only informative, but cool.
In completely unrelated news, somehow, Jack is actually taking a nap. I don't know what form of black magic is afoot here, but he's actually sleeping. For some reason he seems to have given that up recently. Oh well, the Terrible Twos are approaching, and I say bring em on.
I just realized Kelly and I aren't going to my parent's house for our customary Friday night pizza. It's my great-aunt's birthday, and we never RSVP'd since no one was available to watch Jack and Aeryn. Not a big deal though, we'll find something to get into. Hopefully Kelly can make a better meal for us tonight than the shameful excuse for chicken I tried to pass off as a meal last evening.
Revenge of the Mexicans
Here I go with the second post referencing something Mexican in under a week. This time the scourge of my existance is the delicacy known as the Taco. Historically, tacos and I have enjoyed a very comfortable relationship. I eat them, they make me happy, etcetera. Not this time. Oh no. This time, the tacos got mouthy with me. I ate them. Two of them. They left me alone for a few hours, evidently taking the time to plot the scope of the sneak attack they planned on my innards.
At 2 AM the other morning, I awoke with a sudden sense of unease. No nausea, just the knowledge that something was amiss. I drifted back to sleep and woke up again around 5. This time, though there was still no nausea, my spidey-sense told me something was up. Around 5 after 5, the first attack by the intestinal insurgents detonated suicide taco bombs at both the front and back doors to the Chris compound. The simultaneous nature of the attacks led Fox News to conclude it was Al-Qaeda. It was more like the Angry Dinner Liberation Front. Reeling from the onslaught of the attacks, I was rushed back to bed where I spent the entire remainder of the day sleeping off my nausea and fatigue in a pepto-bismol and phenergan induced coma. I think I'm going to cede this victory to the enemy. I'm pretty much done with Mexican food. I don't think I could ever enjoy it quite the same way. Not after this.
The flip side is, I ended up sleeping on the couch, remaining awake long enough to catch a few episodes of Star Trek The Next Generation on SpikeTV. Crap channel, good show. It's amazing that I'm still obsessed with it so many years after it's demise. Of course, I did start watching it when I was 10 years old so I effectively grew up with it.
Wow, way to almost lose my post Firefox. Good ol' Safari saves the day. Anyway, today was somewhat better; I still had the requisite 'blahs' but I think I'm pretty much better. I'm a horrible sick person so I'm sure Kelly's going to be thrilled.
I saw a funny commercial today for Burger King. Some guy is trying to light the grill and it won't start...then a stormtrooper from Star Wars walks up and pumps three laser rounds into the grill. The manager scolds him with 'What did I tell you about the blaster?" So he pumps another round in and struts off. Good stuff.
At 2 AM the other morning, I awoke with a sudden sense of unease. No nausea, just the knowledge that something was amiss. I drifted back to sleep and woke up again around 5. This time, though there was still no nausea, my spidey-sense told me something was up. Around 5 after 5, the first attack by the intestinal insurgents detonated suicide taco bombs at both the front and back doors to the Chris compound. The simultaneous nature of the attacks led Fox News to conclude it was Al-Qaeda. It was more like the Angry Dinner Liberation Front. Reeling from the onslaught of the attacks, I was rushed back to bed where I spent the entire remainder of the day sleeping off my nausea and fatigue in a pepto-bismol and phenergan induced coma. I think I'm going to cede this victory to the enemy. I'm pretty much done with Mexican food. I don't think I could ever enjoy it quite the same way. Not after this.
The flip side is, I ended up sleeping on the couch, remaining awake long enough to catch a few episodes of Star Trek The Next Generation on SpikeTV. Crap channel, good show. It's amazing that I'm still obsessed with it so many years after it's demise. Of course, I did start watching it when I was 10 years old so I effectively grew up with it.
Wow, way to almost lose my post Firefox. Good ol' Safari saves the day. Anyway, today was somewhat better; I still had the requisite 'blahs' but I think I'm pretty much better. I'm a horrible sick person so I'm sure Kelly's going to be thrilled.
I saw a funny commercial today for Burger King. Some guy is trying to light the grill and it won't start...then a stormtrooper from Star Wars walks up and pumps three laser rounds into the grill. The manager scolds him with 'What did I tell you about the blaster?" So he pumps another round in and struts off. Good stuff.
Monday, November 7, 2005
Disregard the Melatonin and Pass the Dew
Here I sit staying up late surfing again for no real reason other than I don't want to go to sleep. I've got a lot on my mind, but I'm too tired to let any of it actually matter. A few things circulating in my head tonight:
Why in the hell do Mexicans always walk around in groups of three? I'm not being racist at ALL here; I live in a heavily hispanic town, and I see this all the time. It's always three of them, and almost without fail one is wearing a cowboy hat, cowboy boots and an obscenely large belt buckle. I just want an answer here, and I think I'm entitled to one. Am I the only one that notices this stuff?
Why do movies of the week always feature pseudoscience so ridiculous it makes me feel ashamed that I ever even conceived of tuning in in the first place? I clicked over to 'Category 7' tonight for all of ten minutes, eight of which were spent with my mouth agape in horror at the utter disregard for anything even approaching real science. Of course, I did understand that is was called Category 7, when the scale only goes up to 5. Guess I kind of deserved this one. I just don't watch TV much at all anymore, and I thought this would be a nice break. Wrong.
We had a good day today, nothing too exciting really. We actually got out and went to church today, which we've been trying to do for weeks. We went over to mom and dad's kind of early, and Kelly and Mom went out and took the kids shopping for a few hours. It was kind of nice to be able to totally pimp on the couch and catch up on some sweet History Channel goodness. I'm obsessed with this show they have now called "Shootout" where the go over an individual battle or gunfight in miniscule computer recreated gloriously insane detail.
Jack was again driven by some unknown force to smear yogurt all over everything within arm's range at dinner. You have to laugh when he pulls that stunt. Aeryn got sick this afternoon, but seemed to feel better immediately. Poor girl.
Well, I need to get to sleep. First thing in the AM I need to finish up getting my paperwork in order for the web-design business, and I need to finish tweaking my site. It'd be kind of stupid to be a designer without a site. I hope my bonus check from work gets here soon.
Why in the hell do Mexicans always walk around in groups of three? I'm not being racist at ALL here; I live in a heavily hispanic town, and I see this all the time. It's always three of them, and almost without fail one is wearing a cowboy hat, cowboy boots and an obscenely large belt buckle. I just want an answer here, and I think I'm entitled to one. Am I the only one that notices this stuff?
Why do movies of the week always feature pseudoscience so ridiculous it makes me feel ashamed that I ever even conceived of tuning in in the first place? I clicked over to 'Category 7' tonight for all of ten minutes, eight of which were spent with my mouth agape in horror at the utter disregard for anything even approaching real science. Of course, I did understand that is was called Category 7, when the scale only goes up to 5. Guess I kind of deserved this one. I just don't watch TV much at all anymore, and I thought this would be a nice break. Wrong.
We had a good day today, nothing too exciting really. We actually got out and went to church today, which we've been trying to do for weeks. We went over to mom and dad's kind of early, and Kelly and Mom went out and took the kids shopping for a few hours. It was kind of nice to be able to totally pimp on the couch and catch up on some sweet History Channel goodness. I'm obsessed with this show they have now called "Shootout" where the go over an individual battle or gunfight in miniscule computer recreated gloriously insane detail.
Jack was again driven by some unknown force to smear yogurt all over everything within arm's range at dinner. You have to laugh when he pulls that stunt. Aeryn got sick this afternoon, but seemed to feel better immediately. Poor girl.
Well, I need to get to sleep. First thing in the AM I need to finish up getting my paperwork in order for the web-design business, and I need to finish tweaking my site. It'd be kind of stupid to be a designer without a site. I hope my bonus check from work gets here soon.
Friday, November 4, 2005
The 900 Dollar Bet
Well, I did it. Thursday I quit selling cars. I'd had enough. Sticking it out for four months was about the limit of my endurance. I knew going into it that the hours would suck. They in fact did. They brought new meaning to the word suck; and brought my quality of life to a whole new depth of suckitude.
I wasn't satisfied with my level of sales, but I wasn't upset with my presentations either. Sometimes, people just don't want to buy a car. Unfortunately, Adam, my manager, didn't see it that way. While I had three...count em THREE customers in the showroom, he pulled me into a back office and proceeded to tell me (not to put me down, of course) that I essentially sucked at selling cars and needed to start training all over or else I should switch jobs, etc.
This coming from someone who redefines the term asshole on a continuous basis. Look up the word Kaizen. That's what he brings to being an asshole. Well, regardless, I sucked it up, went out, sold a car and fought like hell for another one. The third customer was way too far upside down to buy anything, but they left happy.
So I drove home and stewed on what happened. Then I did the math. I made 900 dollars last month. I worked about 70 hours a week. Doing the math told me I made about 3.23 an hour. All of that so I could piss away what little I did make in gas to do the 120 mile daily commute, never see my family, and listen to Adam's shitblast.
I decided Thursday morning I was done. I talked it through with Kelly, and she agreed. I HATE to give up a paycheck, but I felt as if the toll it was taking on my family was far too great. I can find another paycheck, but I can't replace the time with my family.
The past few days we've taken the kids to the park, let Jack run and play, and have just been catching up on being a family. I honestly didn't realize how much I missed it. Kelly and I spent a good part of the morning discussing how to get my web design business off the ground, which I think will at least help supplement whatever income I find here shortly. Anything's got to be better than what I was bringing in after working those ungodly hours. I'm actually really excited about doing websites. More so than I've ever been, and I'm much more serious about it than I've ever been. I'm not world-class yet, but I have some skills that I can offer to people at a pretty reasonable price and still make some halfway decent money at it. It's about time I did something I enjoy.
Tomorrow, I'd like to work on getting some business type stuff done, and I need to call the General Manager from the dealership who called to inquire what happened with me. He's a nice enough guy, and I owe him a call back. I'm moving on to greener pastures now though. This morning I got up, went out to get some OJ, came home, fired up the laptop and worked for about 5 hours. It just felt right. I can do this, I know it.
I wasn't satisfied with my level of sales, but I wasn't upset with my presentations either. Sometimes, people just don't want to buy a car. Unfortunately, Adam, my manager, didn't see it that way. While I had three...count em THREE customers in the showroom, he pulled me into a back office and proceeded to tell me (not to put me down, of course) that I essentially sucked at selling cars and needed to start training all over or else I should switch jobs, etc.
This coming from someone who redefines the term asshole on a continuous basis. Look up the word Kaizen. That's what he brings to being an asshole. Well, regardless, I sucked it up, went out, sold a car and fought like hell for another one. The third customer was way too far upside down to buy anything, but they left happy.
So I drove home and stewed on what happened. Then I did the math. I made 900 dollars last month. I worked about 70 hours a week. Doing the math told me I made about 3.23 an hour. All of that so I could piss away what little I did make in gas to do the 120 mile daily commute, never see my family, and listen to Adam's shitblast.
I decided Thursday morning I was done. I talked it through with Kelly, and she agreed. I HATE to give up a paycheck, but I felt as if the toll it was taking on my family was far too great. I can find another paycheck, but I can't replace the time with my family.
The past few days we've taken the kids to the park, let Jack run and play, and have just been catching up on being a family. I honestly didn't realize how much I missed it. Kelly and I spent a good part of the morning discussing how to get my web design business off the ground, which I think will at least help supplement whatever income I find here shortly. Anything's got to be better than what I was bringing in after working those ungodly hours. I'm actually really excited about doing websites. More so than I've ever been, and I'm much more serious about it than I've ever been. I'm not world-class yet, but I have some skills that I can offer to people at a pretty reasonable price and still make some halfway decent money at it. It's about time I did something I enjoy.
Tomorrow, I'd like to work on getting some business type stuff done, and I need to call the General Manager from the dealership who called to inquire what happened with me. He's a nice enough guy, and I owe him a call back. I'm moving on to greener pastures now though. This morning I got up, went out to get some OJ, came home, fired up the laptop and worked for about 5 hours. It just felt right. I can do this, I know it.
Wednesday, November 2, 2005
Kapunkin!
Jack said something which sounded exactly like "kapunkin' the other day when we were showing off our newly carved Jack-O-Lantern to him. From that point on, he was obsessed with the pumpkin. He said the word pumpkin over and over and over. It was so cute; I was amazed how much he seemed to love it. On top of that, he eats my roasted pumpkin seeds like candy.
Tuesdays are so great; my one day off through the week. I get so little time with Kelly and the kids anymore that I really soak up every moment of my Tuesdays. We took Jack and Aeryn out to breakfast at Cracker Barrel, which is now our new official hang out, then ended up at the park this evening to let Jack run around and burn off some energy.
It's officially Wednesday now. Has been for almost an hour. I guess I'd better get some sleep since today's my first 9 to 9 day.
Aeryn's awake!
Tuesdays are so great; my one day off through the week. I get so little time with Kelly and the kids anymore that I really soak up every moment of my Tuesdays. We took Jack and Aeryn out to breakfast at Cracker Barrel, which is now our new official hang out, then ended up at the park this evening to let Jack run around and burn off some energy.
It's officially Wednesday now. Has been for almost an hour. I guess I'd better get some sleep since today's my first 9 to 9 day.
Aeryn's awake!
Tuesday, November 1, 2005
Sing, Monkey Boy
Sitting here listening to the hard rock station on iTunes, I just realized how very much I loathe bands with a political agenda. Everyone's favorite communist band, Rage Against the Machine just preached some more about how horrible America is, and then Green Day came on, rambling on about some BS anti-war hippie liberal crap. I might as well take off my Doc Martens and start wearing Birkenstocks. Is that patchouli I smell?
If I wanted to listen to political discourse set to music I'd take an iPod to a Poli-Sci class. When did bands stop rocking, and start with all the posturing? I don't mind a little social commentary, sure, but all of this America is evil bullshit needs to stop. Last time I checked, we weren't the ones flying airliners into buildings, and blowing ourselves up in subway tunnels, but I digress.
What I'm getting at is this: exactly when did selling lots of pop music CDs give someone credibility with regards to U.S. Foreign Policy and world affairs? To be even more concise, why do people even care what these drug-addled singers have to say about anything? It's really the modern day equivalent of a court jester giving advice to a king.
This is the world we live in; Madonna is giving spiritual advice; telling people the world is going to hell and priests are mostly gay. This coming from a woman with the morals of a two-dollar prostitute and more partners than a square dance.
Shut up about what you think you know and do what you're best at. Do the world a huge favor and just sing.
If I wanted to listen to political discourse set to music I'd take an iPod to a Poli-Sci class. When did bands stop rocking, and start with all the posturing? I don't mind a little social commentary, sure, but all of this America is evil bullshit needs to stop. Last time I checked, we weren't the ones flying airliners into buildings, and blowing ourselves up in subway tunnels, but I digress.
What I'm getting at is this: exactly when did selling lots of pop music CDs give someone credibility with regards to U.S. Foreign Policy and world affairs? To be even more concise, why do people even care what these drug-addled singers have to say about anything? It's really the modern day equivalent of a court jester giving advice to a king.
This is the world we live in; Madonna is giving spiritual advice; telling people the world is going to hell and priests are mostly gay. This coming from a woman with the morals of a two-dollar prostitute and more partners than a square dance.
Shut up about what you think you know and do what you're best at. Do the world a huge favor and just sing.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Drum Roll Please
I'm back. Well, not in the physical sense, seeing as I really haven't ever gone anywhere. I've decided to give this thing another go. To be exact, I decided that nearly a week ago, but haven't been able to stay awake long enough to get it done. 60 plus hours a week in a car dealership over an hour from home doesn't really allow me a whole lot of time for anything.
Today I took time. Kelly and I carved a pumpkin for Jack. My mom bought one of those nifty pumpkin carving kits, and we decided to do the 'haunted house.' Honestly, I think it came out looking pretty good, especially so given the fact that we've never done that before.
Jack cried a lot today. I think he might be getting yet another ear infection. Poor little man. I can't help but wonder, maybe a bit selfishly, if some of his crying is because I'm not around more. I'm pretty much always at work.
I'm probably paranoid; I'm sure it's just the terrible almost-twos and an ear infection. Why? Because Aeryn lights up like a christmas tree every time she sees me, and if Jack were suffering from lack-of-daddy, she would be too.
I'm suffering from lack of Kelly time, and Jack and Aeryn time. Hopefully I'll have a good few months, put some money back, and be able to start working from home so I can have the best of both worlds.
Well, it's Halloween now. I'm going to call it a night; hopefully I'll sleep peacefully tonight and have a great day tomorrow. I need one.
Today I took time. Kelly and I carved a pumpkin for Jack. My mom bought one of those nifty pumpkin carving kits, and we decided to do the 'haunted house.' Honestly, I think it came out looking pretty good, especially so given the fact that we've never done that before.
Jack cried a lot today. I think he might be getting yet another ear infection. Poor little man. I can't help but wonder, maybe a bit selfishly, if some of his crying is because I'm not around more. I'm pretty much always at work.
I'm probably paranoid; I'm sure it's just the terrible almost-twos and an ear infection. Why? Because Aeryn lights up like a christmas tree every time she sees me, and if Jack were suffering from lack-of-daddy, she would be too.
I'm suffering from lack of Kelly time, and Jack and Aeryn time. Hopefully I'll have a good few months, put some money back, and be able to start working from home so I can have the best of both worlds.
Well, it's Halloween now. I'm going to call it a night; hopefully I'll sleep peacefully tonight and have a great day tomorrow. I need one.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
What's Old is New Again
Tonight I had to run to the store to get some rice cereal for Aeryn. I took Jack with me, and as we drove, I clicked on the radio to entertain him. While fiddling with the controls I came up a station low on the FM dial that I never listened to before. It took a few seconds to sink in that I was listening to a western radio play. What stunned me was how much I got into the story. I actually didn't want to get out of the car by the time we got to the grocery store.
The ride home was the same, only there was a second play on. It turns out that I was listening to an episode of Gunsmoke from 1955 called "Homer Tisdale" on the way to, and to an episode of The Green Hornet, which I still haven't nailed down on the way home.
I never listened to a radio drama before, and I think I could definitely get into that. I've been poking around on the web to see what I can turn up, and I may have to delve deeper into it. I'd love to find out what happens to old Homer, and to see if the councilman's suicide was really a murder, as the Green Hornet reckons.
Hmm..I also saw some of those awareness bracelets at the grocery store with the proceeds going to help out paralyzed vets. I may have to pick up at least one of those. Finally a cause I can really get behind.
Ok, off to look for old time radio shows on the web.
The ride home was the same, only there was a second play on. It turns out that I was listening to an episode of Gunsmoke from 1955 called "Homer Tisdale" on the way to, and to an episode of The Green Hornet, which I still haven't nailed down on the way home.
I never listened to a radio drama before, and I think I could definitely get into that. I've been poking around on the web to see what I can turn up, and I may have to delve deeper into it. I'd love to find out what happens to old Homer, and to see if the councilman's suicide was really a murder, as the Green Hornet reckons.
Hmm..I also saw some of those awareness bracelets at the grocery store with the proceeds going to help out paralyzed vets. I may have to pick up at least one of those. Finally a cause I can really get behind.
Ok, off to look for old time radio shows on the web.
Saturday, June 25, 2005
I've Been Away From You For So Long
I'm still here. The new job didn't work out at all. I hated it after only a couple days. Probably didn't hurt that I was being not-trained by someone who seemed less than enthusiastic about imparting ANY job knowledge. I gave it a full month, and still knew absolutely nothing. I tried, I really did. I just didn't like the atmosphere, people, or lack of training...hell, even the pay sucked.
There has GOT to be something better out there.
On a side note, we went to a party with some friends this afternoon, which was a nice change of pace. Mom and Dad watched the kids while we got to have some away time. I felt refreshed, but missed the kids terribly. When we got home, Jack curled up with me on the couch to watch the Wiggles before bed. It's moments like that which keep me going in this seemingly never-ending quest for a normal life.
Oh, I nearly forgot. Almost a full year after breaking down, the Sable is back up and running. All this after putting close two thousand dollars into a car which only cost me three thousand to start with. Three days after it came home, it needed another 160 dollar repair, but I fault the dealer for not doing a very thorough job the first time. Not bad timing considering the brakes on the minivan failed literally the day the Sable got out of the shop...a quick estimate revealed some other major issues, to the tune of a few thousand bucks. Luckily, that piece of shit belongs to the in-laws. Enjoy!
There has GOT to be something better out there.
On a side note, we went to a party with some friends this afternoon, which was a nice change of pace. Mom and Dad watched the kids while we got to have some away time. I felt refreshed, but missed the kids terribly. When we got home, Jack curled up with me on the couch to watch the Wiggles before bed. It's moments like that which keep me going in this seemingly never-ending quest for a normal life.
Oh, I nearly forgot. Almost a full year after breaking down, the Sable is back up and running. All this after putting close two thousand dollars into a car which only cost me three thousand to start with. Three days after it came home, it needed another 160 dollar repair, but I fault the dealer for not doing a very thorough job the first time. Not bad timing considering the brakes on the minivan failed literally the day the Sable got out of the shop...a quick estimate revealed some other major issues, to the tune of a few thousand bucks. Luckily, that piece of shit belongs to the in-laws. Enjoy!
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
The Tiger Lives
Just testing a new dashboard widget that allows me to post without even opening Safari. Oh how badass is this?
Friday, June 3, 2005
I thought about it. I actually did.
For a brief moment I considered building a Windows PC for my wife. She is used to Windows, and quite frankly, even the idea of popping for one of those budget e-machines jobs sounded like a good idea just to get her up and running. Her old system is minus the video card, and is slow as anything.
I was even thinking about putting it together as a moderately priced gaming rig. Then last night happened.
For the time being, I've got her using an ancient Dell we borrowed, whose native hard drive is corrupted to hell with virii and spyware aplenty. I hooked up new drive and installed Linspire on it. The damn computer fought me every step of the way. It's painfully slow. I could run DOS on it and it would be slow. It just sucks. Badly.
Last night it would not boot. I spent over an hour tearing it apart, booting, rebooting, checking cables and jumpers....cutting my fingers on the inside of the case and perhaps most importantly, wasting time that I could be using to do something constructive. When I finally got the damn thing to boot, and I still don't know how I accomplished that herculean task, I looked at my wife and snarled, "You're getting a Mac."
I forgot how little I enjoyed having to gut PCs on a regular basis.
On a side note, the in-laws are going away this weekend, which means we actually get some privacy. F*ing w00t!
I was even thinking about putting it together as a moderately priced gaming rig. Then last night happened.
For the time being, I've got her using an ancient Dell we borrowed, whose native hard drive is corrupted to hell with virii and spyware aplenty. I hooked up new drive and installed Linspire on it. The damn computer fought me every step of the way. It's painfully slow. I could run DOS on it and it would be slow. It just sucks. Badly.
Last night it would not boot. I spent over an hour tearing it apart, booting, rebooting, checking cables and jumpers....cutting my fingers on the inside of the case and perhaps most importantly, wasting time that I could be using to do something constructive. When I finally got the damn thing to boot, and I still don't know how I accomplished that herculean task, I looked at my wife and snarled, "You're getting a Mac."
I forgot how little I enjoyed having to gut PCs on a regular basis.
On a side note, the in-laws are going away this weekend, which means we actually get some privacy. F*ing w00t!
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Less Than Attention Grabbing Title
I have no stunningly catchy title for this post, or even a half-assedly assembled one. I've been busy with not much to say recently, hence the lack of updates. Everyone is doing well, and things are going as well as can be expected under the circumstances.
Today began and ended with The Wiggles on TV, Jack's favorite show. He utterly adores them. I'm feeling pretty good today; I had some weird stomach jitters thing going on yesterday that pretty much took me out of commission for a good chunk of the day.
I set up a real website and started posting there, as an alternative to Blogger. Thing is, I just don't really know what the need is when I have this, so perhaps I'll go ahead and make that the portfolio site I've been thinking of for ages. I'd gone ahead and installed wordpress, which I really like, and had been updating it using Ecto, which I also really like. I'd even gone so far as to install a forum, which I was under the impression that at least more than one of my friends would visit. I was wrong, so effective tonight, the forum is closed, and I'll probably delete the site and start from scratch. Maybe.
I'm not horribly interested in it, or much of anything, at this point. I kind of think our living situation is catching up to me, and I'm just about on the edge of insanity. I know there has to be some sort of mild depression involved, but I'm never going to admit that anywhere but here. I can work through that on my own.
I guess this post is pretty much pointless; it's kind of turning into the same angst-ridden shit I hate to read, so I'll end it until I think of something more interesting.
Today began and ended with The Wiggles on TV, Jack's favorite show. He utterly adores them. I'm feeling pretty good today; I had some weird stomach jitters thing going on yesterday that pretty much took me out of commission for a good chunk of the day.
I set up a real website and started posting there, as an alternative to Blogger. Thing is, I just don't really know what the need is when I have this, so perhaps I'll go ahead and make that the portfolio site I've been thinking of for ages. I'd gone ahead and installed wordpress, which I really like, and had been updating it using Ecto, which I also really like. I'd even gone so far as to install a forum, which I was under the impression that at least more than one of my friends would visit. I was wrong, so effective tonight, the forum is closed, and I'll probably delete the site and start from scratch. Maybe.
I'm not horribly interested in it, or much of anything, at this point. I kind of think our living situation is catching up to me, and I'm just about on the edge of insanity. I know there has to be some sort of mild depression involved, but I'm never going to admit that anywhere but here. I can work through that on my own.
I guess this post is pretty much pointless; it's kind of turning into the same angst-ridden shit I hate to read, so I'll end it until I think of something more interesting.
Sunday, May 8, 2005
You ain't seen the last of me, pardner.
Yes, it's true. I'm back in action. Sort of. It's been utterly crazy here, and I've got tons of things going on. For example, this past monday morning, my boss told me not to bother coming in to work, because he wanted me here at home to work on a website for his mother's business. Fine and dandy, only I'm not getting paid for the site, or for the week of work i just missed. But wait, it gets better. Monday morning, Kelly collapsed in the kitchen around 8:30 clutching her chest and rocking back and forth while moaning in pain. My mother in law took over watching the kids, and I called 911. Luckily for us, the fire station is all of a mile from our house, so the response time was less than 5 minutes.
We got her to the hospital and they managed to get her relaxed and calm, and several x-rays later, we found out she has pneumonia in her left lung. I called home to let everyone know how she was doing, and found out there was a message from my jackass boss asking me when his mom's website would be done and rambling on about some miscellaneous issues. I pretty much tuned him out. Over the next few days, I was super-stay-at-home dad, watching the kids by myself while Kelly slept and tried to recuperate. I have no idea how she does that on a daily basis. I love them dearly, but they wore me completely out.
Anyway, more to the point, I get home one night after having dinner with my parents and find out my boss had called and left several messages for me, which of course, I didn't get. I checked my email shortly thereafter and find an email from him saying something to the effect of "Haven't heard from you, what is status of site, will you please communicate."
One of my biggest peeves, and this is a full-on peeve, not a pet, is people who insist on writing their emails as if they are telegrams, charged by the word. Write out a damn full thought, will you? Jesus. Anyway, the week ended, weekend began, ended, and I've still heard nothing more from him. I assume at this point I'm out of a job. I've needed a good kick in the ass to find another job, and I guess that is it. I need a better income anyway, so I'm not terribly distraught. Some things just aren't what you think they are.
That being said, my weekend has been surprisingly good. Kelly is feeling much better, and my parents have been a huge help given my lack of income this week. Aeryn was dedicated at church today, and Jack, well, he's just been a great kid. He got to go play at nana and poppy's house today, and couldn't have been any happier.
Oh, and I got my first comment on this blog. I checked it out, and I am even linked! How badass is that?
We got her to the hospital and they managed to get her relaxed and calm, and several x-rays later, we found out she has pneumonia in her left lung. I called home to let everyone know how she was doing, and found out there was a message from my jackass boss asking me when his mom's website would be done and rambling on about some miscellaneous issues. I pretty much tuned him out. Over the next few days, I was super-stay-at-home dad, watching the kids by myself while Kelly slept and tried to recuperate. I have no idea how she does that on a daily basis. I love them dearly, but they wore me completely out.
Anyway, more to the point, I get home one night after having dinner with my parents and find out my boss had called and left several messages for me, which of course, I didn't get. I checked my email shortly thereafter and find an email from him saying something to the effect of "Haven't heard from you, what is status of site, will you please communicate."
One of my biggest peeves, and this is a full-on peeve, not a pet, is people who insist on writing their emails as if they are telegrams, charged by the word. Write out a damn full thought, will you? Jesus. Anyway, the week ended, weekend began, ended, and I've still heard nothing more from him. I assume at this point I'm out of a job. I've needed a good kick in the ass to find another job, and I guess that is it. I need a better income anyway, so I'm not terribly distraught. Some things just aren't what you think they are.
That being said, my weekend has been surprisingly good. Kelly is feeling much better, and my parents have been a huge help given my lack of income this week. Aeryn was dedicated at church today, and Jack, well, he's just been a great kid. He got to go play at nana and poppy's house today, and couldn't have been any happier.
Oh, and I got my first comment on this blog. I checked it out, and I am even linked! How badass is that?
Monday, April 25, 2005
A Million Suns Ago
a cacaphony of echoes inside my head
ricochet off my skull and bore mercilessly,
twisting and searing into my brain
tearing, ripping, shredding, destroying;
these reverberations in my head have by now
long since silenced any last semblance of sanity
and broken me down one dream at a time
now here I lay before you, bruised and scarred
open your mouth and chamber a round,
point the muzzle at me and speak
one more round and all will be calm
open your mouth and fire
ricochet off my skull and bore mercilessly,
twisting and searing into my brain
tearing, ripping, shredding, destroying;
these reverberations in my head have by now
long since silenced any last semblance of sanity
and broken me down one dream at a time
now here I lay before you, bruised and scarred
open your mouth and chamber a round,
point the muzzle at me and speak
one more round and all will be calm
open your mouth and fire
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Something Just Isn't Right
I can't figure out why this is bothering me so much. I was at work today when I checked the Drudge Report and saw that a new pope had been elected. I've mentioned before that I'm not a Catholic, so in all seriousness, I really shouldn't care. And to be honest, I really didn't care...I was curious, but that was pretty much it.
For some reason, when it was announced who the new pope was, I was hit with the most sincere feeling of being un-nerved that I can remember. I don't even know the man, yet for some reason, I am eerily suspicious of him. To be fair, I am aware that he has a past with the Nazi party during his youth, but truth be told, any man his age from Germany probably does; and honestly, if he really was forced to be a part of it, then I certainly don't hold it against him.
That being said, that's not what bothers me about him. Maybe it's this weird connection to St. Malachy, and the prophecy that said this pope would be from the Order of St. Benedict. When I saw that he had chosen the name Benedict XVI for himself, I literally got the chills. Namely because the aforementioned prophecy claimed the next pope after him would be the antichrist. That's a little creepy even for someone as marginally religious as I am.
I can't put my finger on it, but I just get a bad feeling about this man. I certainly hope I'm proven wrong. John Paul II trusted him, so that counts for something. I don't know. If any Catholics read this, no offense is intended and you do have my sincere congratulations on what for you must be an exciting day.
For some reason, when it was announced who the new pope was, I was hit with the most sincere feeling of being un-nerved that I can remember. I don't even know the man, yet for some reason, I am eerily suspicious of him. To be fair, I am aware that he has a past with the Nazi party during his youth, but truth be told, any man his age from Germany probably does; and honestly, if he really was forced to be a part of it, then I certainly don't hold it against him.
That being said, that's not what bothers me about him. Maybe it's this weird connection to St. Malachy, and the prophecy that said this pope would be from the Order of St. Benedict. When I saw that he had chosen the name Benedict XVI for himself, I literally got the chills. Namely because the aforementioned prophecy claimed the next pope after him would be the antichrist. That's a little creepy even for someone as marginally religious as I am.
I can't put my finger on it, but I just get a bad feeling about this man. I certainly hope I'm proven wrong. John Paul II trusted him, so that counts for something. I don't know. If any Catholics read this, no offense is intended and you do have my sincere congratulations on what for you must be an exciting day.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
MAChinations
God do I love the Mac. I have never had this much fun with a computer. But I digress. Nothing much is terribly new, so I will just add this random bit of freeform poetry or whatever you call it that I came up with today.
i’m trapped
melted down and fused into your putrid plastic reality
i’m sick to death of you trying
to mold me force me and shape me
to conform to the form of your warped pipedream
and sicker still of your duality
- heavy-handed hypocrisy
you obfuscate and subjugate and do no wrong
your heartless mind needs this completeness
of perceived perfection to sustain the illusion
that you are somehow
worth something
to someone
Don't know where that came from, but it was written sitting in a Toyota pickup in Silver Spring.
i’m trapped
melted down and fused into your putrid plastic reality
i’m sick to death of you trying
to mold me force me and shape me
to conform to the form of your warped pipedream
and sicker still of your duality
- heavy-handed hypocrisy
you obfuscate and subjugate and do no wrong
your heartless mind needs this completeness
of perceived perfection to sustain the illusion
that you are somehow
worth something
to someone
Don't know where that came from, but it was written sitting in a Toyota pickup in Silver Spring.
Sunday, April 3, 2005
In Memoriam
I'm not a Catholic, and sometimes barely worthy of the title Christian, but for some reason the death of the Pope has really hit me pretty hard. I guess maybe I'm so used to all the evil horrid news stories about the hideous, vile people and places on this planet, that the loss of this one man, who dedicated himself to all that was good and right really seems to resonate.
I actually feel humbled by the man, whom I've never seen, nor devoted much attention to. What kind of character this man must have had to devote himself so entirely to God and the wellbeing of mankind. Even if you're not religious, you have to be humbled by such courage, strength and devotion. It reminds me of another human who dedicated his life to serving the will of God in an unbelieving world.
Rest in Peace, Pope John Paul II.
I actually feel humbled by the man, whom I've never seen, nor devoted much attention to. What kind of character this man must have had to devote himself so entirely to God and the wellbeing of mankind. Even if you're not religious, you have to be humbled by such courage, strength and devotion. It reminds me of another human who dedicated his life to serving the will of God in an unbelieving world.
Rest in Peace, Pope John Paul II.
Friday, April 1, 2005
The Glorious Appearing
I'm still sick. Miserable is more like it. Head colds are the absolute worst. All the coughing, sneezing, runny nose stuff gets old. I still am actually at a loss to figure out exactly how the human head can produce so much sludge. Some things are best left as mysteries. I felt like crap and left work after less than an hour. On the way home I decided to pick up some Zicam to try to knock this thing out as fast as possible. So far, I've managed to disgust myself with the chalky taste of the disolvable tablets I for some reason chose over the less invasive nasal spray. They're so disgusting and revolting that I'd almost rather just feel sick.
On top of all that, poor little Jack has caught what I have. I feel so bad for my little man. Hopefully he'll sleep well tonight and fight this off. Hopefully I will too.
As I sat around the house wiping my nose and generally feeling horrid today, I was suddenly stirred into motion by the sight of a FedEx truck coming down the road...slowing, and pulling into my driveway. I leapt from my chair like a kid on Christmas morning. My iBook has arrived, and I'm using it to post right now. My initial impressions? I'm NEVER going back to windows. Never. I remember when I got my compaq laptop; it took nearly an hour to get the wireless connectivity to work. My iBook hooked up to the network while it was going through the set-up process. Seamless. And smooth....oh how smooth. This truly is the BMW of computers.
I could punch myself for not switching sooner.
On top of all that, poor little Jack has caught what I have. I feel so bad for my little man. Hopefully he'll sleep well tonight and fight this off. Hopefully I will too.
As I sat around the house wiping my nose and generally feeling horrid today, I was suddenly stirred into motion by the sight of a FedEx truck coming down the road...slowing, and pulling into my driveway. I leapt from my chair like a kid on Christmas morning. My iBook has arrived, and I'm using it to post right now. My initial impressions? I'm NEVER going back to windows. Never. I remember when I got my compaq laptop; it took nearly an hour to get the wireless connectivity to work. My iBook hooked up to the network while it was going through the set-up process. Seamless. And smooth....oh how smooth. This truly is the BMW of computers.
I could punch myself for not switching sooner.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Antichristamine
Somehow, it's already Thursday. The past few days I've been wrestling with a sore throat, but some Alavert and Ibuprofen seem to have knocked it down a bit. I'm not totally sure the Alavert was any use though since I've never had allergies before, and since today, I just feel like I have a full-on head-cold.
I didn't sleep very well last night either, and I'm sure that's adding to the misery. The weirdest thing happened last night; I woke up at 3:23 am and immediately realized my wedding ring was missing. Much the same as someone hears a loud noise, and wakes up knowing that's what woke them, the feeling of my ring's absence was immediate. I searched as well as I could given the circumstances but couldn't find it. Thank God Kelly found it a few minutes ago. A panicked phone call to her prompted her rapid search.
Kelly's got to go get a tooth pulled this afternoon, which ought to be a real delight. I'll be watchign the kids while she's gone...which I don't mind doing at all, except for the sheer terror of the whole 'can I handle both of them by myself syndrome.' Again, I realize I don't give her enough credit for managing to handle both of them all day every day. I wish I knew how she does it without panicking like I typically do in that situation.
I've been feeling very creative recently; I really need to start getting that stuff out of my head.
On a semi-related note...I actually seem to be halfway decent at maintaining this page. I didn't think I'd stick with it this well. Go me. w00t.
I didn't sleep very well last night either, and I'm sure that's adding to the misery. The weirdest thing happened last night; I woke up at 3:23 am and immediately realized my wedding ring was missing. Much the same as someone hears a loud noise, and wakes up knowing that's what woke them, the feeling of my ring's absence was immediate. I searched as well as I could given the circumstances but couldn't find it. Thank God Kelly found it a few minutes ago. A panicked phone call to her prompted her rapid search.
Kelly's got to go get a tooth pulled this afternoon, which ought to be a real delight. I'll be watchign the kids while she's gone...which I don't mind doing at all, except for the sheer terror of the whole 'can I handle both of them by myself syndrome.' Again, I realize I don't give her enough credit for managing to handle both of them all day every day. I wish I knew how she does it without panicking like I typically do in that situation.
I've been feeling very creative recently; I really need to start getting that stuff out of my head.
On a semi-related note...I actually seem to be halfway decent at maintaining this page. I didn't think I'd stick with it this well. Go me. w00t.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Something Wicked This Way Comes
After much anticipation, my confirmation email came in this morning from Apple. :) w00t of all w00ts. I decided against the eMac, and opted instead for a 12" iBook, which is even now working its way across country to me in the back of a FedEx truck. Right now, it's somewhere in the neighborhood of Sacramento, and should be here hopefully by this weekend. My name is Chris, and I am a recovering Windows user. :)
I stopped at Sheetz for lunch today and got an Italian sub, which was quite tasty; that alone isn't post-worthy, but the fact that I decided on iced-tea is. I usually hate store-bought tea, but this stuff is actually quite good. It's Arizona brand 'southern-style real brewed sweet tea' and it's quite refreshing. I might just have a new beverage du jour.
Obviously, nothing of monumental importance has happened thus far today, or else I most likely wouldn't be mentioning my lunchtime discoveries.
On a personal note, I miss my wife and kids. I'll be home in about two hours, but that's not soon enough. They are the only things in my life that really keep me sane and focused. I can't wait to hold Aeryn and wrestle around with Jack. Hmm, the weather is looking a little better today than it has been. It's not raining anymore and I see some sunlight. Maybe we can go for our walk around the park tonight. That's our family time these days. Aeryn sleeps, Jack just absorbs all the sights and sounds, and Kelly and I get to talk freely, something we can't do at home.
Hopefully this weather will hold out. It's 57.2 degrees right now, and that's a good start.
I stopped at Sheetz for lunch today and got an Italian sub, which was quite tasty; that alone isn't post-worthy, but the fact that I decided on iced-tea is. I usually hate store-bought tea, but this stuff is actually quite good. It's Arizona brand 'southern-style real brewed sweet tea' and it's quite refreshing. I might just have a new beverage du jour.
Obviously, nothing of monumental importance has happened thus far today, or else I most likely wouldn't be mentioning my lunchtime discoveries.
On a personal note, I miss my wife and kids. I'll be home in about two hours, but that's not soon enough. They are the only things in my life that really keep me sane and focused. I can't wait to hold Aeryn and wrestle around with Jack. Hmm, the weather is looking a little better today than it has been. It's not raining anymore and I see some sunlight. Maybe we can go for our walk around the park tonight. That's our family time these days. Aeryn sleeps, Jack just absorbs all the sights and sounds, and Kelly and I get to talk freely, something we can't do at home.
Hopefully this weather will hold out. It's 57.2 degrees right now, and that's a good start.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Hey Brother, Can Ya Spare a Dime?
Poor Kelly, I really feel for her. She is having quite a bit of dental pain right now, having two, not one, but two abscesses. I know how bad that must hurt; I had one about two months ago, and it drove me nuts. Well, some would argue I was already there to start with, but I digress. I wish there were more I could do to relieve her pain, but the best and only thing I can do is be supportive.
In the meantime I've been taking over her night-time 'baby-patrol' and listening for Aeryn. That girl can EAT. She ate for almost three hours straight tonight. I guess that's not a bad thing since she stocks up during her last meal and then sleeps through the night - usually. This morning she was up for an hour at 5:43, and I was less prepared than I thought I would be. Of course, here I sit writing this at almost midnight, so I suppose I have only myself to blame.
In any event, I feel really bad because I got a little aggravated tonight with Aeryn; I just wanted her to finish eating and o to sleep so I could go relax. I feel horrible for thinking that. The sweet little girl just wanted to fill her tummy. I think I've just let the stresses I'm dealing with - or at least think I am - get to me way too much. That, and I vastly underestimated the amount of effort Kelly puts in each day being a full-time mom.
Of course, God's Karmic machinations have once again proven too abstract to decipher. Somehow, every conceivable issue that could arise to drain my wallet has done so this week. I went from having half the money required for my new Mac to having almost none. My wife's unforeseen dental bills and doctor's visits have come as a real shock, and it looks like I'm just going to be computerless a while. I kind of figured something like this would happen. I'll just have to do what I always do, suck it up and smile while I bide my time and save.
After that, the next goal is to move, but that's another post that I don't feel like writing at the moment. Maybe tomorrow. It is Friday after all, and Fridays by default and by definition can not suck. Unless of course said Friday happens to be the 13th.
I've rambled enough. 'Night.
In the meantime I've been taking over her night-time 'baby-patrol' and listening for Aeryn. That girl can EAT. She ate for almost three hours straight tonight. I guess that's not a bad thing since she stocks up during her last meal and then sleeps through the night - usually. This morning she was up for an hour at 5:43, and I was less prepared than I thought I would be. Of course, here I sit writing this at almost midnight, so I suppose I have only myself to blame.
In any event, I feel really bad because I got a little aggravated tonight with Aeryn; I just wanted her to finish eating and o to sleep so I could go relax. I feel horrible for thinking that. The sweet little girl just wanted to fill her tummy. I think I've just let the stresses I'm dealing with - or at least think I am - get to me way too much. That, and I vastly underestimated the amount of effort Kelly puts in each day being a full-time mom.
Of course, God's Karmic machinations have once again proven too abstract to decipher. Somehow, every conceivable issue that could arise to drain my wallet has done so this week. I went from having half the money required for my new Mac to having almost none. My wife's unforeseen dental bills and doctor's visits have come as a real shock, and it looks like I'm just going to be computerless a while. I kind of figured something like this would happen. I'll just have to do what I always do, suck it up and smile while I bide my time and save.
After that, the next goal is to move, but that's another post that I don't feel like writing at the moment. Maybe tomorrow. It is Friday after all, and Fridays by default and by definition can not suck. Unless of course said Friday happens to be the 13th.
I've rambled enough. 'Night.
Monday, March 21, 2005
Hurry Up and Wait and Other Cliched Confessions
I sold my laptop last week, and have to wait until Friday to get the second half of the payment for it. I didn't agree to that, but I guess I have to suck it up since I'll be able to get my Mac. In the meantime, I have no computer. Yay. Yay of all yays. Joy.
I just realized I'm going to miss the ease of using Picasa and Hello to update this page. I'm sure I'll find some Mac equivalent which will most certainly look better, work better, and just generally make me happy.
So here I sit, waiting to Jack and Aeryn to the doctor. Somehow the prospect of a dual doctor visit isn't really something I'm treasuring, but it has to be done. Jack's visit shouldn't be anything extraordinary, but Aeryn's visit might be a little stressful since she is due for some booster shots. My little girl is 5 weeks old now, and this is the first time we've been able to actually get her to her regular doctor to get a checkup, thanks to innumerable screw-ups on the part of the insurance company. She had an initial visit with some half-assed doctor the insurance company decided on choosing for her, which went something like the way I would cursorily inspect a used car prior to purchase. A few pokes and prods and some 'uh-huh's' and that was all.
Needless to say, I wasn't too terribly impressed by her, her office, her manner, or her other clientel. If I were to imagine the crappiest most ghetto doctor possible and then somehow bring her to life, it would be her. Those phony TV doctors that hawk male-enhancement pills probably have more medical qualifications. At least we never have to see her again. I'm afraid she'd be the one needing medical attention after a second visit.
On a completely unrelated topic, I've got a theory. It goes a little something like this. I think that my in-laws were genetically designed to piss me off. I'm not going to get into it right now because I don't have the time. I think I'm right though.
To top off my weekend, my cat Comet has apparently decided that life would be better elsewhere; I keep telling myself he went off to find his brother Vader. Wherever he went, his absence will be felt. I miss you buddy, but I understand.
I just realized I'm going to miss the ease of using Picasa and Hello to update this page. I'm sure I'll find some Mac equivalent which will most certainly look better, work better, and just generally make me happy.
So here I sit, waiting to Jack and Aeryn to the doctor. Somehow the prospect of a dual doctor visit isn't really something I'm treasuring, but it has to be done. Jack's visit shouldn't be anything extraordinary, but Aeryn's visit might be a little stressful since she is due for some booster shots. My little girl is 5 weeks old now, and this is the first time we've been able to actually get her to her regular doctor to get a checkup, thanks to innumerable screw-ups on the part of the insurance company. She had an initial visit with some half-assed doctor the insurance company decided on choosing for her, which went something like the way I would cursorily inspect a used car prior to purchase. A few pokes and prods and some 'uh-huh's' and that was all.
Needless to say, I wasn't too terribly impressed by her, her office, her manner, or her other clientel. If I were to imagine the crappiest most ghetto doctor possible and then somehow bring her to life, it would be her. Those phony TV doctors that hawk male-enhancement pills probably have more medical qualifications. At least we never have to see her again. I'm afraid she'd be the one needing medical attention after a second visit.
On a completely unrelated topic, I've got a theory. It goes a little something like this. I think that my in-laws were genetically designed to piss me off. I'm not going to get into it right now because I don't have the time. I think I'm right though.
To top off my weekend, my cat Comet has apparently decided that life would be better elsewhere; I keep telling myself he went off to find his brother Vader. Wherever he went, his absence will be felt. I miss you buddy, but I understand.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
And now for something completely different...
I never thought I'd be able to say this, especially not so soon, but my days of being a windows user are over. Well, almost. I sold my compaq laptop today, and will be putting the proceeds toward a new Apple eMac, which I hope to order in the next few days. I am officially making 'the switch.'
Why? There are more reasons than I have time to list, but among them are my almost epic distaste for Microsoft. I am so tired of security updates every ten minutes, browser hijackers, spyware, viruses, patches, and most of all, sloppily coded operating systems. I want my pc to work for me, not the other way around. When you reach the point where you are spending most of your time on the computer updating the OS, running virus scans, checking for spyware, or troubleshooting some stupid glitch that should NOT happen, it's time to make a change. I don't game anymore, so that's not a concern...so why not make the leap to the Apple side? Let's see...I get a more stable OS with more features and eye candy, a terrifically supportive community, an abundance of software, a gorgeous computer with a tack sharp display, and the freedom of not using a single Microsoft product. Sounds good to me.
I'm sad to be giving up my laptop, which as a piece of hardware, I loved. But the draw of Apple is too strong. I'm switching, Bill Gates, and you can kiss my Apple.
Why? There are more reasons than I have time to list, but among them are my almost epic distaste for Microsoft. I am so tired of security updates every ten minutes, browser hijackers, spyware, viruses, patches, and most of all, sloppily coded operating systems. I want my pc to work for me, not the other way around. When you reach the point where you are spending most of your time on the computer updating the OS, running virus scans, checking for spyware, or troubleshooting some stupid glitch that should NOT happen, it's time to make a change. I don't game anymore, so that's not a concern...so why not make the leap to the Apple side? Let's see...I get a more stable OS with more features and eye candy, a terrifically supportive community, an abundance of software, a gorgeous computer with a tack sharp display, and the freedom of not using a single Microsoft product. Sounds good to me.
I'm sad to be giving up my laptop, which as a piece of hardware, I loved. But the draw of Apple is too strong. I'm switching, Bill Gates, and you can kiss my Apple.
Monday, March 14, 2005
The Finer Things
Oh, what I would give for a Mac. I've been sitting here playing with some graphics in Photoshop, and just now realized they look much more gray on other monitors. Great, my laptop renders colors wrong. That's a phenomenal perk for a graphic artist. I never noticed this before. Yay me. I want a Mac in the worst possible way.
Tuesday, March 8, 2005
A Sound like No Other
I made an interesting discovery the other night. I was listening to music in iTunes, playing around with different genres, and trying to find something to relax to; I needed a change from my usual standard metal.
By sheer chance, I happened across a girl named Hayley Westenra. I'd never heard of her before, and really had no idea what to expect. Looking through the songs on her CD, I found Amazing Grace, which for some reason is one of those songs that moves me every time I hear it. So, I clicked on the track to preview it.
My impression? I really don't know how to describe her voice and actually do it justice. I have serious doubts that even angels sound that beautiful. Hearing her voice made every care I had at the moment simply vanish; I could literally feel myself becoming more and more calm.
Of course, the 30 second preview soon ended, and I sampled everything else on the disc. At that point, the 'purchase album' button must have cringed with fear due to the alarming speed with which my cursor approached. Within a minute I was $9.99 poorer, and tremendously satisfied.
I thought at one time that Charlotte Church had an incredible voice, but there is no comparison here. They are similar in style and range perhaps, but that's where it ends. I don't think I've ever been this satisfied with an album I've bought, nor this impressed with someone's singing ability.
By sheer chance, I happened across a girl named Hayley Westenra. I'd never heard of her before, and really had no idea what to expect. Looking through the songs on her CD, I found Amazing Grace, which for some reason is one of those songs that moves me every time I hear it. So, I clicked on the track to preview it.
My impression? I really don't know how to describe her voice and actually do it justice. I have serious doubts that even angels sound that beautiful. Hearing her voice made every care I had at the moment simply vanish; I could literally feel myself becoming more and more calm.
Of course, the 30 second preview soon ended, and I sampled everything else on the disc. At that point, the 'purchase album' button must have cringed with fear due to the alarming speed with which my cursor approached. Within a minute I was $9.99 poorer, and tremendously satisfied.
I thought at one time that Charlotte Church had an incredible voice, but there is no comparison here. They are similar in style and range perhaps, but that's where it ends. I don't think I've ever been this satisfied with an album I've bought, nor this impressed with someone's singing ability.
The Razor's Edge
Let's face it. It's all about the almighty dollar. Frankly, I need more of them than my current job is bringing in, and it's time to do something about it. Thanks to a bit of social networking, it looks like with any luck I may get to skip the usual formalities of the whole interview routine and transition into something new in relatively short order.
Not that I hate interviews, they're actually rather fun. It's pure psychology at work. It's just that I hate setting them up. Actually, hate may be a bit weak. Loathe maybe. Regardless, we'll see what the next few days bring.
Whatever happens, it has to be better than this. It'll be nice to be able to afford things again.
Not that I hate interviews, they're actually rather fun. It's pure psychology at work. It's just that I hate setting them up. Actually, hate may be a bit weak. Loathe maybe. Regardless, we'll see what the next few days bring.
Whatever happens, it has to be better than this. It'll be nice to be able to afford things again.
Thursday, March 3, 2005
Blogger's Block
This past week has been utterly maddening. Between the in-laws frustrating the living hell out of me and just the usual comedy-of-errors type routine I seem to fall into once a month or so, it's been entertaining in a truly warped way.
I'm a little unfocused right now, given the stresses I'm under, and presumably amplified by the fact that my birthday is tomorrow. Birthdays have a mysterious and powerful way of forcing me to regroup inside my head at least once a year and think about the past, present, and future.
I've got a ton of things to say, but right now, none of them are bubbling to the top...most of my thoughts are simmering just under the surface. I can't do this right now. I'll come back when my head's clear.
I'm a little unfocused right now, given the stresses I'm under, and presumably amplified by the fact that my birthday is tomorrow. Birthdays have a mysterious and powerful way of forcing me to regroup inside my head at least once a year and think about the past, present, and future.
I've got a ton of things to say, but right now, none of them are bubbling to the top...most of my thoughts are simmering just under the surface. I can't do this right now. I'll come back when my head's clear.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Into the Digital Sunset
Since becoming the father of two, I'm finding that more and more of my priorities have changed. My family has always been the most important thing in my life, but now fatherhood is forcing other old habits and desires out the door.
First is gaming. I used to be, until recently, quite the hardcore online gamer. I tried to play as much as possible and to be the best, most accurate, fastest player I could be. I devoted a significant number of hours a week to an online gaming 'clan,' and was quite focused on it. I even went so far as to shell out a few thousand dollars to build a top-of-the-line gaming computer.
For a year or so, I really enjoyed it. But now...I just have completely lost interest. Having given away my CPU when building another computer, I don't even have the desire to buy another one to resurrect the slumbering silver behemoth. Its neon blue eye may never again open on the world.
My former best friend, who at one time told me I was like a brother to him, has stopped conversing with me since I've cut my presence online. I guess that shows how good of a friend he really was. All he ever posts about or emails me about are things concerning either computer parts, overclocking, or website issues. Not even so much as a word of congratulations on the birth of my daughter. I expected more, and perhaps that sense of mislaid importance is helping drive my departure from online gaming. That and total apathy.
I just find it odd, because ever since I can remember, I have loved computer games...losing myself in them for hours. Now, I find myself immersed in working in photoshop and wanting to get back into writing more.
I barely have the mental fortitude to even visit the clan website...it's more of a chore than it is fun anymore. I'm done with it, really. I just am finding it hard to tell anyone that. I'll get around to it. I kind of think the best way for me to go about it is just not even bother to visit the site and let myself disappear. At least I'd avoid confrontation that way, and be free to go on with my life not having to even think about it.
Away with you, games. Bring on fatherhood.
First is gaming. I used to be, until recently, quite the hardcore online gamer. I tried to play as much as possible and to be the best, most accurate, fastest player I could be. I devoted a significant number of hours a week to an online gaming 'clan,' and was quite focused on it. I even went so far as to shell out a few thousand dollars to build a top-of-the-line gaming computer.
For a year or so, I really enjoyed it. But now...I just have completely lost interest. Having given away my CPU when building another computer, I don't even have the desire to buy another one to resurrect the slumbering silver behemoth. Its neon blue eye may never again open on the world.
My former best friend, who at one time told me I was like a brother to him, has stopped conversing with me since I've cut my presence online. I guess that shows how good of a friend he really was. All he ever posts about or emails me about are things concerning either computer parts, overclocking, or website issues. Not even so much as a word of congratulations on the birth of my daughter. I expected more, and perhaps that sense of mislaid importance is helping drive my departure from online gaming. That and total apathy.
I just find it odd, because ever since I can remember, I have loved computer games...losing myself in them for hours. Now, I find myself immersed in working in photoshop and wanting to get back into writing more.
I barely have the mental fortitude to even visit the clan website...it's more of a chore than it is fun anymore. I'm done with it, really. I just am finding it hard to tell anyone that. I'll get around to it. I kind of think the best way for me to go about it is just not even bother to visit the site and let myself disappear. At least I'd avoid confrontation that way, and be free to go on with my life not having to even think about it.
Away with you, games. Bring on fatherhood.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Migraine Vehicle Administration
This has been the most stunningly unproductive day I've had in quite a while. Littered with all the elements of a tragic comedy, it is in fact proof of God's sense of humor.
Let's take this from the top. Last night as I was closing my eyes to go to bed, my 14 month old son started to cry. Not much, just enough for me to know he was awake and wanted me. I let him cry for a few minutes, thinking he'd soothe himself and fall back to sleep. In the dark I waited, and just when he had quieted down, and I had closed my eyes in anticipation of sweet escape...he cried again. Louder this time, and more insistent.
I hate to hear my little guy cry, so I got up and went into his bedroom. He stood there in his crib rubbing at his runny nose and his sleepy eyes. I scooped him up and took him into my arms, sitting down in the glider rocker with him. He rested his little head on my shoulder, and I felt a little hand clutching my arm.
For about half an hour, all was well, he was quiet and calm, so I put him back in his crib and went back to my room. As I closed the door, the wailing started. Not just cries, but pitiful howls of desperation. Again, we sat in the rocker for half an hour, and again, as I lay him back in his crib, the cries started again.
I couldn't ignore them, or let him cry it out. These cries would have woken the whole house, and probably the neighbors. Not to mention, they broke my heart. I once again cradled him, and crawled into bed, laying him face-down on my chest. He tucked his hands down between my arms and abdomen and held on. We drifted together for what had to be nearly an hour, and I was confident he would go to sleep. Again I put him in his crib, and again, within minutes, he was screaming.
My wife, who was asleep with our newborn daughter, volunteered to trade 'duty' with me so I could get some rest. I reclined on the sofa next to the bassinet at 3:36, and was asleep in no more than a few seconds.
At 5:30, my daughter began to cry, wanting to be fed. I sat up with her, fed her, cradled her, and whispered to her as she gazed out the window at the gradually brightening sky. We sat together until about 6:45 am, when she fell asleep again in my arms, and I returned her to her bassinet.
I then woke up at 8:40, and was supposed to be at work at 9:00, a good twenty minute drive. I scrambled to get ready, say my goodbyes to my wife, whom I'd had to awaken, and rushed out the door.
Getting to work at 9:15, I immediately had to head back out to the Motor Vehicle Administration to get license plates. After a half an hour wait and a grumpy receptionist and emotionless teller, I was told that I needed a bill of sale for the car, and ushered on my way. Driving back to the officeI realized I'd left the office keys at home so I made the 20 minute trek back to the house to fetch them. Then, 20 minutes driving back to the office. I retrieved the bill of sale and headed back to the MVA. Suddenly, my gas gauge dropped from full to empty and the low fuel light came on. I knew the gauge was faulty, but from experience, I reckoned I had nearly 80 miles of gas left. I was wrong.
Within a minute, the van was jumpy and unresponsive. I pulled into a parking lot and the engine died. Another half hour getting gas...then, I finally made it back to the MVA. I stood in line for half an hour, only to be told my insurance information was not correct, despite the policy I held in my hand stating the opposite. This time, I wasn't even given a magic number to see the teller. By this time, I was getting increasingly agitated. On top of not having slept last night, I now ended up wasting every moment between 9am and 12:30.
I want to go home.
Let's take this from the top. Last night as I was closing my eyes to go to bed, my 14 month old son started to cry. Not much, just enough for me to know he was awake and wanted me. I let him cry for a few minutes, thinking he'd soothe himself and fall back to sleep. In the dark I waited, and just when he had quieted down, and I had closed my eyes in anticipation of sweet escape...he cried again. Louder this time, and more insistent.
I hate to hear my little guy cry, so I got up and went into his bedroom. He stood there in his crib rubbing at his runny nose and his sleepy eyes. I scooped him up and took him into my arms, sitting down in the glider rocker with him. He rested his little head on my shoulder, and I felt a little hand clutching my arm.
For about half an hour, all was well, he was quiet and calm, so I put him back in his crib and went back to my room. As I closed the door, the wailing started. Not just cries, but pitiful howls of desperation. Again, we sat in the rocker for half an hour, and again, as I lay him back in his crib, the cries started again.
I couldn't ignore them, or let him cry it out. These cries would have woken the whole house, and probably the neighbors. Not to mention, they broke my heart. I once again cradled him, and crawled into bed, laying him face-down on my chest. He tucked his hands down between my arms and abdomen and held on. We drifted together for what had to be nearly an hour, and I was confident he would go to sleep. Again I put him in his crib, and again, within minutes, he was screaming.
My wife, who was asleep with our newborn daughter, volunteered to trade 'duty' with me so I could get some rest. I reclined on the sofa next to the bassinet at 3:36, and was asleep in no more than a few seconds.
At 5:30, my daughter began to cry, wanting to be fed. I sat up with her, fed her, cradled her, and whispered to her as she gazed out the window at the gradually brightening sky. We sat together until about 6:45 am, when she fell asleep again in my arms, and I returned her to her bassinet.
I then woke up at 8:40, and was supposed to be at work at 9:00, a good twenty minute drive. I scrambled to get ready, say my goodbyes to my wife, whom I'd had to awaken, and rushed out the door.
Getting to work at 9:15, I immediately had to head back out to the Motor Vehicle Administration to get license plates. After a half an hour wait and a grumpy receptionist and emotionless teller, I was told that I needed a bill of sale for the car, and ushered on my way. Driving back to the officeI realized I'd left the office keys at home so I made the 20 minute trek back to the house to fetch them. Then, 20 minutes driving back to the office. I retrieved the bill of sale and headed back to the MVA. Suddenly, my gas gauge dropped from full to empty and the low fuel light came on. I knew the gauge was faulty, but from experience, I reckoned I had nearly 80 miles of gas left. I was wrong.
Within a minute, the van was jumpy and unresponsive. I pulled into a parking lot and the engine died. Another half hour getting gas...then, I finally made it back to the MVA. I stood in line for half an hour, only to be told my insurance information was not correct, despite the policy I held in my hand stating the opposite. This time, I wasn't even given a magic number to see the teller. By this time, I was getting increasingly agitated. On top of not having slept last night, I now ended up wasting every moment between 9am and 12:30.
I want to go home.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
The Cauldron
Why is it that some people are soothed by anger? Sometimes I wonder if chance and circumstance have hardened me into one of those sorry lot who feel at ease enraged. Having never noticed this in myself until somewhat recently, I can only surmise that it's a relatively new occurance. I do have my theories on its origins, given the nature of those who are by default, omitted from its wrath.
This demon in my head never rears itself to be directed at my wife or children; but others are not so lucky. I sometimes wonder why I'm not slower to anger at things or people, or even why I anger or even notice the things that set me off. I seem, somewhere over the course of my life thus far, to have lost the ability to throttle my temper. It's either on, or off. I no longer get angry or frustrated, I fly into a tempestuous rage, that even startles me with its ferocity.
Yet, somehow, I seem to have made peace with this monster. I find that occasionally, I will incite someone to drive me to it, almost like a drug. It's so common for me to feel like that, I am almost more comfortable with it boiling in my gut.
I don't like it, and I'm not crazy. I can understand most of what I perceive to be the causes, and am taking actions to resolve them so this slinks back into the depths of my soul never again to show itself.
Taking pride in, and revelling in anger is not who I am, but rather what I feel some people have made me become. It is, however, my responsibility to fix it.
This demon in my head never rears itself to be directed at my wife or children; but others are not so lucky. I sometimes wonder why I'm not slower to anger at things or people, or even why I anger or even notice the things that set me off. I seem, somewhere over the course of my life thus far, to have lost the ability to throttle my temper. It's either on, or off. I no longer get angry or frustrated, I fly into a tempestuous rage, that even startles me with its ferocity.
Yet, somehow, I seem to have made peace with this monster. I find that occasionally, I will incite someone to drive me to it, almost like a drug. It's so common for me to feel like that, I am almost more comfortable with it boiling in my gut.
I don't like it, and I'm not crazy. I can understand most of what I perceive to be the causes, and am taking actions to resolve them so this slinks back into the depths of my soul never again to show itself.
Taking pride in, and revelling in anger is not who I am, but rather what I feel some people have made me become. It is, however, my responsibility to fix it.
Monday, February 14, 2005
Immortality May Be Closer Than it Appears
My daughter was born this past Wednesday, hence the lack of updates. Not that anyone notices but myself, but still, I didn't want me to think I wasn't going to follow through with this.
She is the most beautiful little thing I've ever seen; so small and fragile, with such delicate little features I'm amazed she's even real. My wife may remember this past nine months, but to me it's a blur. I'm still in shock it's over and she's here, only 14 months after her brother. She's got a lot to live up to. Her brother is the sweetest, cutest, best behaved little boy I've ever seen.
I'm inclined to believe the similiarities won't stop at their looks. I can tell already she's going to be a true sweetheart. She craves her mother's touch. She hates her bassinet, much preferring the warmth of her mother. She's asleep most of the time, which is only normal, but for those few minutes when she opens her little eyes and peers at me, I feel like the most important person in her world. My son is the same way, when he smiles at me with those bright, perfect eyes, and tiny little teeth beaming, all seems right in the world.
It's truly amazing that just a few days ago, I'd never seen my daughter except on a songram screen. Now, when I hold her, I feel like I've known her forever, and loved her forever. The fact that one little person can inspire so much love gives me hope.
Life isn't great right now for my family, mostly because of my in-laws. We simply do not work well as a team. However, one glimpse of my son's smiling face, or my daughter's tiny eyes, and all the things that are unpleasant don't really matter anymore.
For the first time since my son was born, I think...I know I can make things right for us. I have to. I owe them. They are my gift to this world, and God's gift to me.
She is the most beautiful little thing I've ever seen; so small and fragile, with such delicate little features I'm amazed she's even real. My wife may remember this past nine months, but to me it's a blur. I'm still in shock it's over and she's here, only 14 months after her brother. She's got a lot to live up to. Her brother is the sweetest, cutest, best behaved little boy I've ever seen.
I'm inclined to believe the similiarities won't stop at their looks. I can tell already she's going to be a true sweetheart. She craves her mother's touch. She hates her bassinet, much preferring the warmth of her mother. She's asleep most of the time, which is only normal, but for those few minutes when she opens her little eyes and peers at me, I feel like the most important person in her world. My son is the same way, when he smiles at me with those bright, perfect eyes, and tiny little teeth beaming, all seems right in the world.
It's truly amazing that just a few days ago, I'd never seen my daughter except on a songram screen. Now, when I hold her, I feel like I've known her forever, and loved her forever. The fact that one little person can inspire so much love gives me hope.
Life isn't great right now for my family, mostly because of my in-laws. We simply do not work well as a team. However, one glimpse of my son's smiling face, or my daughter's tiny eyes, and all the things that are unpleasant don't really matter anymore.
For the first time since my son was born, I think...I know I can make things right for us. I have to. I owe them. They are my gift to this world, and God's gift to me.
Friday, February 4, 2005
Fahrenheit 51.8
No, this isn't a reference to that slovenly liberal 'film-maker's' trash piece, or the Bradbury novel of the same name. Said filmmaker should be shot for appropriating the title of such a great work. Interesting though that he ripped off the title of a science-fiction story; it kind of puts his work in a new light when you think about that.
No, this is a reference to the gorgeous day outside. Yesterday was gray, foggy, dreary, and filled with snow. Large, slow-falling snowflakes were the order of the day. Not today though, at 51.8 degrees, the snow is melting like mad, the streets are dry, and the sky is crystal clear.
The sun seems a little extra bright today; and it's warm enough to go without a jacket. At least for me, that is; though I usually go without a jacket unless it's so bone-chillingly cold that one could mistake the ambient air temperature for that of Pluto.
It's just one of those days where being outside just makes you glad to be alive.
No, this is a reference to the gorgeous day outside. Yesterday was gray, foggy, dreary, and filled with snow. Large, slow-falling snowflakes were the order of the day. Not today though, at 51.8 degrees, the snow is melting like mad, the streets are dry, and the sky is crystal clear.
The sun seems a little extra bright today; and it's warm enough to go without a jacket. At least for me, that is; though I usually go without a jacket unless it's so bone-chillingly cold that one could mistake the ambient air temperature for that of Pluto.
It's just one of those days where being outside just makes you glad to be alive.
Wednesday, February 2, 2005
Somniac
I don't understand; I can't remember when it changed. When did I lose the ability to stay up until 4 am, crash for three hours and go a full day without being tired? I can remember doing that most of my life but for some strange reason it just doesn't work. I'm not old, I'm 27, so that's not a factor. Anyone, incidentally who claims 27 is old, can go take a long walk off a short pier.
Sure, daily life is stressful and hectic, but it's not fair. It's not right. It's not...cool. I have always viewed sleep as a rather unwelcome intrusion into my life, and perhaps never moreso than now. Now that I have websites to design, and things to write, and time to do it and I find myself unable to focus, and needing to collapse into the abyss known as sleep.
It feels somewhat like a switch gets flipped...my brain goes into screensaver mode, and I can feel the energy level inside my consciousness scaling back and shutting off to conserve itself. I hate it. I hate it all and I will fight it. With caffeine and cold water to the face.
I warn you fatigue..back off. You got your 7 hours in last night, and you're going to get less tonight. We'll see who's going to win this one.
Sure, daily life is stressful and hectic, but it's not fair. It's not right. It's not...cool. I have always viewed sleep as a rather unwelcome intrusion into my life, and perhaps never moreso than now. Now that I have websites to design, and things to write, and time to do it and I find myself unable to focus, and needing to collapse into the abyss known as sleep.
It feels somewhat like a switch gets flipped...my brain goes into screensaver mode, and I can feel the energy level inside my consciousness scaling back and shutting off to conserve itself. I hate it. I hate it all and I will fight it. With caffeine and cold water to the face.
I warn you fatigue..back off. You got your 7 hours in last night, and you're going to get less tonight. We'll see who's going to win this one.
Tuesday, February 1, 2005
Ex Post Facto Deja vu
I suppose that now would be as good a time as any to post a little something as to the reason this little spot on some webserver has been siezed for my own nefarious purposes. To be honest, I don't really know.
I've always been fond of journaling, but spotty about doing it. At least for more than a day or perhaps a week. The desire is there, but for whatever reason, the follow-through hasn't been. Attribute it to laziness, improper motivation, whatever you will. After several false starts here in the blogging medium, I thought I'd give it one more chance to see if I could in fact, keep this going for more than a portion of a month.
I suppose that this will come into its own as a way of chronicling my thoughts, dreams, creativity, whatever I happen to be in the mood to post at any given time. Hopefully this will cut down on my almost fetishistic need to horde notebooks and pens in the futile hope they will be used for this same purpose. Maybe I'll have better luck here; I guess we'll see. Or perhaps only I will, as I'm likely to be the only person who ever sees this blog.
If anyone else happens to stumble into it, well, welcome, and I hope that maybe something I say makes you think. Entirely too few people do that anymore.
That being said, mentally I'm smashing a bottle of Dom Perignon over the side of my monitor, christening this site, and wishing it well as we sail into this adventure together. Metaphors are great, aren't they?
I've always been fond of journaling, but spotty about doing it. At least for more than a day or perhaps a week. The desire is there, but for whatever reason, the follow-through hasn't been. Attribute it to laziness, improper motivation, whatever you will. After several false starts here in the blogging medium, I thought I'd give it one more chance to see if I could in fact, keep this going for more than a portion of a month.
I suppose that this will come into its own as a way of chronicling my thoughts, dreams, creativity, whatever I happen to be in the mood to post at any given time. Hopefully this will cut down on my almost fetishistic need to horde notebooks and pens in the futile hope they will be used for this same purpose. Maybe I'll have better luck here; I guess we'll see. Or perhaps only I will, as I'm likely to be the only person who ever sees this blog.
If anyone else happens to stumble into it, well, welcome, and I hope that maybe something I say makes you think. Entirely too few people do that anymore.
That being said, mentally I'm smashing a bottle of Dom Perignon over the side of my monitor, christening this site, and wishing it well as we sail into this adventure together. Metaphors are great, aren't they?
Random Creations from Inappropriate Locations
Sky cannot contain her
broken wings can not hold
this angel in freefall
for when all is told she is not
what she seems, her veins run cold
with blood spilt by rage and her murderous ways
she corrupts and destroys with contempt
upon a stage only visible
to her and only as an infinitesimal blur
as she crashes to earth her terra forsaken
absorbs and consumes her, her life taken
in soil she slumbers
broken wings can not hold
this angel in freefall
for when all is told she is not
what she seems, her veins run cold
with blood spilt by rage and her murderous ways
she corrupts and destroys with contempt
upon a stage only visible
to her and only as an infinitesimal blur
as she crashes to earth her terra forsaken
absorbs and consumes her, her life taken
in soil she slumbers
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