Saturday, May 30, 2009

Battlefield: Badass

If there’s one thing I love more than technology, it’s technology that makes shit go ‘splodey.

The U.S. Army is set to start testing a computerized, high-tech projectile launcher that can take out bad guys hiding around corners and in caves or trenches, even if they're out of the soldier's line of sight.battle

Some experts call it the "Judge Dredd" gun, after the Sylvester Stallone movie. The Pentagon calls it the XM-25 Individual Air Burst Weapon, which uses a laser rangefinder to precisely measure the distance to a target, then primes a fuse on a timed grenade so that the projectile explodes exactly where it should.

One thing I wanna know...can you play duck hunt with that thing?

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Thursday, May 28, 2009

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Funeral Home For Sale: Lots of Extras

This is so many shades of creepy:

"Four bodies in a funeral home isn't unusual. Four unidentified bodies left behind in a vacant funeral home is "unbelievable."

That's what the Rev. Reginald Burrell thought Sunday when he and deacons from Northlake Church of Christ went to visit their newly purchased building.

They found four bodies, including one in the bag, one in a corrugated burial box and two in caskets...they could have been there since 2006."

There's a horror movie in this story somewhere, I can feel it.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

That was cool…heh heh hm!

Racist? Sexist? Want a Job on the Supreme Court?

I would love to one day sit down at the computer, catch up on the news, and have something positive to say about Obama and the people in his administration.  As time goes on, I’m becoming more and more convinced that’s about as likely as coming home and finding out my living room has mysteriously filled itself with gold bars.

People in this administration have consistently made the most ignorant gaffes, blatant screw-ups, position reversals, etc. I’ve ever seen. It’s like we turned the White House over to a classroom of middle-schoolers with bad attitudes.

I don’t know what criteria Obama is using to select his nominees, but I’m starting to be able to compile a basic profile.  Apparently, you skip to the head of the line if you are a former lobbyist, well connected, a tax-evader, completely inexperienced, or in the case of Obama’s first Supreme Court pick, a racist, sexist liberal judicial activist.

What?

In 2001, Sonia Sotomayor, an appeals court judge, gave a speech declaring that the ethnicity and sex of a judge “may and will make a difference in our judging.”

I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life,” said Judge Sotomayor.

I’m not crying racism because it hurts my feelings. I’m calling racism because it’s bullshit practices like bringing these types of characters into the administration that make this country look more and more like an imploding third world country. We are led by inexperienced morons with no common sense and a propensity to run off at the mouth with nothing to back up their drooling jabber. It's a disgrace how these people have managed to shame and disgrace this country in the short time they've been in office.

I thought we were supposed to be above matters of race? Aren’t we, Democrats?

Source: New York Times

Monday, May 25, 2009

Everybody say awwww….

This is probably going to be the cutest thing you’ve seen all day. Year.

The Countdown Has Begun

It’s time to make a change. I’m going from car to motorcycle.  Having absolutely no experience and WAY too much time on my hands, I’ve picked out the starter bike that will get me on my way.

Of course, I still have the whole motorcycle safety course thing to do, but what’s to let a few details stand in the way?

I need to put some funds together, get through the course without injuring myself…things like that, but I can’t wait.  I’m going to try to get the course knocked out asap, and hopefully get on the road by early fall at the latest. 

I’ve read so many reviews of the thing…watched about 75 hours of youtube videos on it, it’s been my obsession these past few days.  I’m so ready to pull the trigger on it, but everything in its due time.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Red Bull Does In Fact Have a Warning Label

DA I’m sorry but if you’re stupid enough to try this, you deserve to have a heart attack.  Or to be beaten with a stick.

A 23-year-old Auckland mother who lost 45kg in eight months by drinking nothing but energy drink Red Bull says she has ongoing health problems because of the diet. 

Ms Robertson said she managed to keep her addiction secret from family and friends, and did not recover from it until after a two-week stay in hospital following a minor heart attack.

"I managed to wean myself off it by being in hospital for that long but I had severe withdrawals – sweating, nausea, shaking. It was an addiction. The doctors stated that."

Dumbass. She should have tried Rockstar.  It would have likely finished the job.

Source: Stuff.co.nz

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Morning Lulz

untitled

No Talent

You know, if you can’t play Call of Duty: World at War without using a modded rapid-fire controller, you are a total douchebag.  See, there exist only two possible reasons for someone to use these devices. 

1) You are a stat-padder and don’t care about the fun of actually achieving goals on your own merit.  You’re probably the one who relentlessly puts down your own team during the match and then gets pissed off when people shut you down. You then find the synthetic balls to complain that everyone else on your team sucks, blows, is gay, etc.  This type of behavior, when reinforced only with stats you earn because of your quickfire controller, makes you an poseur par excellence, as well as a complete dick.

2) Without the use of a rapid-fire controller you suck so incredibly hard at COD that your friends laugh at you, your girlfriend leaves you, and your dog shits on your XBox to prevent you from spreading the sheer magnitude of your suck like a digital cancer.  Your mom probably still dresses you; hell, she’s probably better at COD than you are.

If either of these statements in any way apply to you, do yourself a favor.  Take your COD disc out, ask your mommy to drive you to the nearest EB/Gamestop, etc, and proceed to explain to them that you need to trade in COD for “The Incredibles.”   Then when you get home, take your modded, prized rapidfire controller and break it with a heavy object.  Trust me on this.  It’s better than what would happen if a real gamer got hold of it.  That of course would be to shove it so far up your ass you’d shit plastic for two months.

A final word of warning to you rapid fire sissies.  You are aware (maybe) that COD still has the kill-cam feature, so we can SEE your pathetic attempts at ownage.  We do not respect you, we don’t fear you, and we’re all talking insane amounts of shit about you while laughing at your obvious shortcomings.

Come back when you can play with the big boys.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Chromosome Confusion

iTunes has kept me entertained a lot recently. First I find a random Goatse image, and now tonight I was treated to a picture that I just can't quite explain. I'm not a huge fan of reality shows and things like American Idol in particular, so it comes as no surprise that I can't identify any of the contestents on the what...58th season of the show, right?

So I fire up iTunes to listen to some music while I surf and I'm greeted by this. What the fuck is this, some kind of joke? This is
clearly a woman named Adam, isn't it? Wait, no apparently this poor confused little emo sissy is actually a male. At least that's what the internets tell me and on occasion, sadly, the web has occasionally proven itself to be full of shit.

I hope this androgynous little shit sings like goddamned Isaac Hayes or something, because otherwise, he's literally a woman. I mean, just look at it. There's no way that thing's packin' a tool. None. For God's sake it looks like the younger sister of Kate Gosselin. If you don't see the similarity here, you're either blind, retarded or gay. Or possibly some screwed up fusion of the three. Pick a goddamned gender.

Really.

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The Missing Link

This past week, scientists announced they’d discovered the 47 million year old fossilized remains of an animal which, they announced shamelessly, is the missing link between apes and humans.

Ida, properly known as Darwinius masillae, is the 47-million-year-old fossil, said to be a critical “missing link” species in primate evolution.

Ironically, scientists have located a contradictory find here in North America. This new discovery of yet another 47 million year old fossil seems to indicate that we are all actually descended from assholes.




I’m not implying anything…

but why would you want to go and do something stupid like that?

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Bring on The Remakes

So I just came across the teaser for the remake of the 80s legend ‘V’.

Looks pretty good to me; as long as they keep it moving.  My worst fear is they’ll take a cool premise like this and give it the Battlestar Galactica treatment; which is to say stretch it out several seasons too long at the expense of interest.

Based on this, I’m all in so far.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

That’s Just Not Fair

I’m really terribly offended by this story:

Not by the fact he was unfairly treated, you see. That’s just life.  I’m offended by the fact that the headline could have used a much more inflammatory double-entendre for shock value.  A few samples:

AF Gives Decorated Pilot the Shaft

AF F*cks Decorated Pilot

AF Tosses Decorated Pilot

AF Blows Off Decorated Pilot

AF Sucks: Decorated Pilot

Decorated Gay Pilot Forced to Pull Out

Decorated Gay Pilot Forcibly Removed from Cockpit

I have to take a sec and say I kind of feel like an asshole for making these jokes; I might even be contradicting the Don’t Be a Dick rule I just visited upon the world.  This guy’s been in the Air Force for 18 years, and for that I salute him. I’m sure he’s a great guy.

For this comment however:

"I wanted a quick, quiet, fair, honorable discharge."

I LOLed.

Words of Wisdom

In your day to day life, as well as your conduct online there’s a simple rule that will make things much more enjoyable for everyone:

Well, that was almost fun.

I dropped the kids off at school this morning with plenty of time left to get out and enjoy this beautiful sunny day.  For the second day in a row the sky is brilliant blue and cloudless, the grass green with spring.  It’s warm with a slight cool breeze; all in all a perfect day to get out with the camera.

I drove downtown, parked, got out and managed to take about 30 pictures when the most intense, burning, stabbing, throbbing pain I’ve ever had in my life shot down my back and into my leg.

My sciatic nerve has chosen this moment in time to launch a brutal blitzkrieg against my ability to enjoy some free time.  It literally feels like I’ve been stabbed in the small of my back and the knife has been pulled the whole way down my back and left leg almost to the knee.

I’d just returned to the car to drop off the camera bag and made it about half a block when it hit.  It literally stopped me in my tracks. I turned and slugged back to the car almost gasping for breath; as each step I took twisted the knife in my back.

Ugh.

Shut up about the word Ugh being used as a line too.  It’s how I feel, it’s relevant, and it’s my blog so piss off. (Yeah, it still hurts.)

I’m going to try to get back out in a little bit after some tylenol and a brief stint on the couch.

I need the escape these little photo trips provide.

Beneath The Clear Blue Sky

Aside from the usual day to day tedium, today was a pretty decent day.  I took the kids to the park for a few hours and let them burn off some steam, which was also an exercise in stress relief for me.  I need to get away from this little black box more often. (Ironic that I felt the need to post about this, isn’t it?)

We had a great time today, really.  Perfect weather and not a cloud in the sky. 

I’ve been beating myself up for not bringing the camera today to get pics of the kids, but since they’re in school tomorrow, I’ll be able to go out and get some solo photography time in so at least the need to point and shoot will be fulfilled.

Well, I’m up late enough as it is and I’ve got to be up early, so I’m calling it a night.  Goodnight, world.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I’ll admit it, I LOLed

Something’s Fishy

And you thought your job sucked.

Monday, May 18, 2009

A Jail and some Fail.

If THIS is a jail, then sign me up for at least armed robbery.

My wife would agree…if she could speak English.

austrian

I guess I can’t be a grammar nazi as I did kind of misspell doesn’t in a metal driven typing fit, but still…Noy sy sll has become a part of my vocabulary for all time.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Things Almost Seen

I was messing around aimlessly in iTunes, when I suddenly caught a glimpse of something…evil.  It was a momentary glance of something resembling a hand-drawn simulacra of the original internet evil.  Goatse

Waiting for the image to cycle back through its rotation, I grabbed a screen cap.  Looks like goatse to me. 

If you don’t know what goatse is, consider yourself lucky.  No, more like blessed.  My eyes still hurt from the Clorox, and that was like 2002.

Down the River

I’m going to try to keep this post as succinct and polite as possible, but it’s not going to be easy.

I’ve had it with the American auto industry.  I’ve worked in dealerships most of my adult life, so I feel relatively qualified to address the situation.

Not only am I pissed off that our new President seems to think that it’s ok to have government owned automobile manufacturers, but I am utterly furious that these businesses, which in all fairness have historically built inferior products have received billions of dollars in ‘bailout’ money when it was obvious from the outset that bankruptcies were all but inevitable.

General Motors, Chrysler, and Ford are large employers, and have been major components of the US economy for a long time.  That being said, things change, business changes, and the nexus of the capitalistic system is that underperforming, mismanaged businesses which are outclassed dramatically by an intensely competitive (and often lesser priced) market need to be allowed to fail.

Propping up a business riddled with poor management, poor quality, and uninspiring overpriced products is only postponing the only possible outcome, and in so doing, damaging the rest of the economy by siphoning off resources that could be deployed to more benefit elsewhere.

bailout

We are taught from childhood that actions have consequences. It’s the American way.  Individual responsibility and accountability have been our historical underpinnings since the dawn of our nation, and is what sets us apart from the European ‘nanny-state’ mentality that the state is the ultimate safety net.

Americans have always been able to see one level deeper.  We’ve always known that the safety net starts with ourselves.  When hard-working Joe American makes some bad judgment calls and gets in over his head financially, does the government step in and bail him out? Of course not.  Bankruptcy is the protection afforded to him under our system.  That is the second chance.  The clean slate.  The last resort.

Joe American loses his ability to secure credit for a while, and pays the price for his bad judgment but through hard work, determination, and having learned lessons from his mistakes, he rebuilds himself and avoids the pitfalls that brought him down before.

In much the same way, the big automakers need to learn to get their economic house in order.  Blaming the nebulous ‘economy’ is not enough to absolve them of responsibility for their part in their own collapse.  Had they been lean, tightly run efficient businesses who listened to their customer base instead of building crap for the past 20+ years, we would in all likelihood be looking at a much different scenario. Instead, all over the news are things like this:

As thousands of General Motors workers await word on more U.S. plant closures, reports that the company plans to import Chinese-made vehicles to the U.S. have created a political problem for the automaker and the White House.

On Wednesday, Shanghai Securities News and other Chinese media reported that GM plans to begin exporting vehicles from China to the U.S. within two years, ramping up sales to more than 50,000 by 2014.

What is truly sad is that even in the midst of this auto-industry ‘crisis’, it has become clear that GM in particular has not only learned nothing, but also has no sense of corporate responsibility. 

"What's more important, some jobs in a particular factory somewhere or the overall success of the company?" Cole asked. "That is really far more important."


That’s exactly the problem.  What’s more important, the overall success of GM or ‘some jobs somewhere’. 

This is the corporate attitude that has brought GM to it’s knees.  The giant has fallen and is gasping for breath. 

The big three have done this to themselves, despite the best intentions of thousands of hard working employees on the factory floor.

bailout2

 

Sources: MyWay via Drudge Report

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Putting It All In Perspective

Sometimes it helps to step back, take a deep breath, and realize that the universe is so much bigger than our day to day struggles lead us to think.

sagan

Your Daily Dose of Doom – Conspiracy Corner

The world is going to hell in a handbasket.  Embrace the fear.


1) Bilderberg Group Meeting This Week

"If the Finance Minister really wants to know the depth of this "global economic firestorm", all he has to do is to ask the people who created it.”

2) Swine Flu II: Coming Soon to a Lung Near You

“Researchers say swine flu has "full pandemic potential", spreading readily between people and is likely to go global in the next six to nine months.”

3) Somali Pirates: An Inside Job?

”Pirate groups have "well-placed informers" in London who are in regular contact with control centres in Somalia where decisions on which vessels to attack are made. These London-based "consultants" help the pirates select targets, providing information on the ships' cargoes and courses.”

It’s enough to make me want to turn off the internet…except that if any of this is true the internet might be our last line of defense.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Terminate This.

So Terminator Salvation is coming out and has creepy terminator motorcycles, eh?

So what, this bad boy was on the road in 2005.

Sorry Terminator fanboys, this thing kicks ass.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Some People Have All the Luck

Here’s a few interesting shots from my recent Smithsonian trip.  All of these people have one thing in common. Craptastic luck.

The Wisdom of Jack

This afternoon I was driving my kids home from school and enjoying the banter of a 4 and 5 year old’s deep discussion.

Somehow, the discussion turned to a gingerbread house they had made back around Christmas.  They were both saying things like ‘I wish we still had our gingerbread house…where did it go?’

I softly (my daughter is quite emotional, you see) informed them that we’d thrown it away because it was made of food and had gone bad.

That’s when Jack pipes in: ‘We should have used Green Bags because they keep your food fresh.  Not Ziploc bags, they let all the yucky air in and make your food go bad. Green Bags are better because they keep the air clean.’

I think he’s seen that commercial ONCE.

Cunning Linguists

And the Lord said thou shalt LOL for it is good.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Internet Irony

File this under things that make you go hmmmm….

irony

Hasta La Vista, Vista. Or Something.

As of today, every computer in my household is running Windows 7 RC.  Two of the installations were upgrades, one was a full install, and really there was only one hiccup of note.

I installed it first on my wife’s year old Dell 1525 laptop, she got the full format and fresh install treatment.  Absolutely painless.

Next, I upgraded my Inspiron 1545 laptop, which was also without event.

Lastly, I upgraded a year old Acer desktop, which turned into a mess.  The actual install went smooth as glass, but I ran into an issue when trying to find an actual display driver from Acer.  (Note that this computer was purchased without my advice.)

The Acer support website, when I finally found it was a worthless pile of crap.  The driver I downloaded was over two years old, and would not allow me to set the proper resolution.  Digging out (and I emphasize ‘digging’ out) the original driver disk resolved the problem, but that’s just the issue.  The driver on the CD was newer than the most recent driver on the Acer site.

Note: Acer sucks donkey balls. Big surprise.

So far, there have been no issues on any of the three systems, save for what I think might be the first ‘bug’ I’ve ever identified.  I installed the CoolIris plugin for Firefox and used it to browse a flickr stream.  Shortly thereafter, I noticed some visual artifacting on the active window, and also some desktop artifacting similar to a poorly compressed image file.  I uninstalled the CoolIris plugin and the artifacting disappeared completely.

So far, the system is notably snappier and just generally ‘feels’ more responsive.  I’m definitely satisfied so far.  I dare say enthusiastic.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

CIFTA. If it’s good enough for Barack…

I would like to invite anyone to give me a logical, coherent answer as to what purpose it could conceivably ever serve to let a foreign government have access to a list of American gun owners.

What is this near obsession these people have with curtailing the 2nd amendment?

When Barry said he wanted change, he sure meant it, didn’t he?

Friday, May 1, 2009

Stunned.

I just discovered Volbeat. Oh. My. God.