Blinded by Bling - Totally NSFW

If you don't laugh at this, something's wrong with you. I present Bling Ballz.

 

 

Technorati tags: Youtube, Bling, bling ballz, funny, video, animation

Where Can My Honey Be[e]?

 Remember all that hype about bees disappearing? They've all gone to the UK.

 

A passenger plane was forced to land after flying into a swarm of British bees Thursday...[the] plane's engine was thought to have become clogged with bees, the company said Friday.

 

Huge clouds of bees have been seen around Bournemouth over the past few days, a spokeswoman said.

 

 

Technorati Tags: UK travel bees airline London odd

Truth in Politics

House Minority Leader John Boehner, speaking to a private gathering of Republican activists last night, called the Senate's immigration compromise bill a "piece of shit" but said that he had promised President Bush earlier in the day that he would let his teeth be a barrier to such thoughts in public.

I admire this type of candor, even if it is unofficial.  It's too bad the rest of the career politicians in DC let their wallets act as barriers to doing the right thing in public.

 

Technorati tags: John Boehner, House of Representatives, Congress, Illegal immigration, politics, partisan, Bush, border

Dora's Evil Twin

I've gone on record as a harsh critic of children's television, and Dora the Exploiter...er...Explorer in particular.  And now, from the annals of Youtube, I bring you my sentiments made real courtesy of SNL.

 

 

Technorati tags: Dora the Explorer, Maraka, SNL, funny

More Mexican Mayhem

The United States has been up to no good again. What with our lax enforcement of laws against illegal firearms leaving the country in the dead of night under their own power.

Four police officers have been killed and several other people abducted in the northern Mexican state of Sonora.

A group of about 40 armed men entered the town of Cananea near the US border and kidnapped the policemen from their patrol cars, reports said.

Our bad. Totally.

Almost 800 people are thought to have been killed in Mexico in drug-related violence so far this year, despite efforts to crack down on drug gangs.

Damn us and our guns.

Elsewhere, authorities in the northern state of Coahuila said men disguised as Mexican federal agents captured the state's chief anti-kidnapping investigator, AP said.

Actually, that's kind of funny in a sad, ironic way.

Technorati tags: Mexico, crime, guns, kidnapping

Enter the Strandbeest

Ever hear of Theo Jansen? Me either. My loss. He's amazing.

[He] is an artist and kinetic sculptor living and working in Holland. He builds large works which resemble skeletons of animals which are able to walk using the wind on the beaches of the Netherlands...[he] is dedicated to creating artificial life through the use of genetic algorithms. These programs simulate evolution inside their code.

Not convinced? 

How about now?

 

Technorati tags: Theo Jansen, art, Netherlands, kinetic sculpture, evolution, genetic algorithm, science, engineering, artificial life

 

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Cradle to the Grave

Tonight's random surfing turned this up. It kind of made me just stop and think for a bit.

Technorati tags: Life, images, pictures, art

Asking the Hard Questions

BBC Journalist John Sweeney's Panorama special on Scientology is a must watch. Regardless of your feelings about Scientology in general or Sweeney's well-publicized blow-up  at Scientologists it's worth the half-hour.

 

 

Technorati tags: Scientology, BBC, John Sweeney, Panorama, Clearwater, religion

The Pot and the Kettle

A top Mexican anti-drug official said the United States must do more to stop weapons from being smuggled into the hands of drug traffickers who are using them to kill Mexican soldiers and police.

Because we are the ones who have a problem sending things across the border illegally?

Assistant Secretary of Public Safety Patricio Patino made a fresh appeal Tuesday for U.S. authorities to cut off the supply.

"The firepower we are seeing here has to do with a lack of control on that side of the border," Patino said in an interview with The Associated Press. "What we have asked the American government ... is that they put clear controls on the shipments of weapons."

Wow. Just wow. Balls of titanium must be standard issue south of the border. How else do you explain that level of hypocrisy?

Since when does Mexico care about what comes across the border?

 

 

Technorati tags: Mexico, Immigration, US, smuggling, illegal immigration, border, guns

Hardcore Bullshit Obfuscation

I've always thought the concept of political correctness...calling things by another name to make them sound more neutral or palatable is a stupid, and in some cases, detestable practice.  It's really one edge of the fine blade known as bullshit.  The other edge, of course, would be buzzwords and phrases like 'leveraging deployed solutions.'

People resort to this level of communication when they're either socially crippled or are so inherently wrong as to actually have the need to literally re-word their comments to slip them in under the radar.  It's the old 'this is shit / this is fine fertilizer' routine.

Here's a fine example:

Bob Zitter, Chief Technology Officer for HBO, speaking at a cable broadcaster's conference in Las Vegas last Tuesday, as suggesting that customers might accept the concept of digital rights management [DRM] if it were named something else.

Zitter suggested, according to the report, that the technology should be marketed in such a way that it conveys a message that viewers could "use content in ways they haven't before." For that reason, he is suggesting the term "Digital Consumer Enablement. [DCE]"

If that's not a bullshit artist at work, I don't know what is.  Think about this for a second.  Calling DRM an 'Enabler' is like calling handcuffs 'Personal Freedom Enhancers.'  It's totally illogical and is nothing more than a cheap trick designed to fool non-techies into thinking that it's something new and good.

Call a spade a spade.

 

 

Technorati tags: HBO, DRM, DCE, rights management, consumer enablement, tech, copyright

Global Warming, No. Global Hotness, Yes.

On any given day in the media, there are countless stories of the horrors of global warming. The debate is nearly as heated as the greenhouse gases that fuel it. Is it real, how bad is it, and can it be stopped?

I don't have the answers, and I don't really care as long as I get to see more German chicks that look like this.

Technorati tags: Germany, Merkel, Arrhenius, CO2, Global Warming, greenhouse gas, carbon dioxide

Lucas, Hold Thy Tongue?

Aside from sounding like something that should come from the mouth of a three-year old, George Lucas' comment regarding the story or lack thereof in Spiderman 3 is startling. 

"[Lucas] has seen all the summer movies since his company, Industrial Light and Magic, does most of the special effects. The only one they didn't work on was "Spider-Man 3." What did he think of it?

"It's silly. It's a silly movie," he said. "There just isn't much there. Once you take it all apart, there's not much story, is there?"

This coming from the man who brought us 'Jar-Jar Binks,' mangled his own Star Wars franchise into a total piece of CGI garbage with three consecutive disposable movies (and three 'enhanced' versions) that ruined the originial trilogy, and now plans to drop two more Star Wars turds upon the world.

 

Technorati tags: Spiderman 3, George Lucas, Star Wars, movies, entertainment, hollywood, CGI

Highway to the Hereafter

Ever since I can remember, I've been fascinated by anything paranormal.  Well, not the crystal-power new-age crap, but ghosts, ufos, things like that have always intrigued me.  I've heard a few stories from family and close friends over the years who've had no reason to lie that would certainly lead me to believe that something out of the ordinary realm of existence can definitely happen.

 

I've even had a few small things happen that, while on one hand could be viewed as a coincidence, would have to be a very big coincidence.

 

Any time something of a paranormal nature makes the news, I'm fascinated, and this is no exception.

 

Ghostly apparitions have been seen and photographed on a small stretch of Interstate 4 known as "the I-4 Dead Zone" in which hundreds of people have been killed or injured in crashes, according to a Local 6 investigation...Since 1963, nearly 2,000 accidents have been reported on a stretch of Interstate 4 in Central Florida located between Daytona Beach and Orlando, the report said.

 
Over the years, people have reported seeing strange things on the stretch of road, according to the report.

"People are claiming to see all kinds of things -- orbs floating across the highway, apparitions on the side of the road hitchhiking, phantom trucks, you name it," book author Charlie Carlson said. "There are dead people beneath interstate 4."

 

Technorati Tags: ghost paranormal I-4+Dead+Zone Florida Daytona Orlando

Backpack Bomb Kills One

I hope this isn't what it sounds like.  Not to be alarmist, but exploding backpacks are not exactly commonplace.

 

There was a deadly explosion early this morning on the top level of the parking structure located at the Luxor Hotel. The victim of the bombing was an employee of the Luxor. Another person was injured.

 

The explosion happened around 4 a.m. Reports were that the device was inside a backpack, which was either on the vehicle or adjacent to it.

 

Technorati Tags: las+vegas bomb explosion luxor

Zawahiri: Give us your tired, your poor...

Buried in MSNBC's account of Al-Qaida tool and bin-Laden lackey Ayman Al-Zawahiri's ( hellfire missiles and artillery rounds be upon him) rambling, mocking new video confessional is an interesting tidbit.

No longer is Al Qaida exclusively a club for disaffected muslim hooligans with IQs lower than room temperature who are afflicted with ADHD and chronic bad moods.  Zawahiri has cast open the gates of the Al Qaeda Acres Country Club to everyone.

Al-Zawahri encouraged minorities around the world to join the holy war, or jihad.

 “Al-Qaida is not merely for the benefit of Muslims,” he said. “That’s why I want blacks in America, people of color, American Indians, Hispanics, and all the weak and oppressed in North and South America, in Africa and Asia, and all over the world.”

Generosity or desperation? You make the call.

 

Technorati tags: Al Qaeda, Al Qaida, Islam, Muslims, Zawahiri, Bin Laden, terrorism, caliphate, war

Spiderboy

This gave me chills.  I hate spiders with a passion; if this had been me, I'd be in an asylum right now.

When a boy went to see his doctor complaining of constantly hearing a faint popping - he did not expect to be told he had spiders living in his ear..."They were walking on my eardrums," Jesse Courtney said.

This is nightmare material. Ick.

 

 

Technorati tags: spiders, insects, medical, sick, jesse courtney

Birth of a Salesman

 

Sales have really been picking up at work.  Things are finally starting to look better.  That is, except for the ungodly hours, lying customers, and general shenanigans involved with working in any car dealership.

My average day consists of getting to work at 9am, sitting down at a heavily filtered computer for an hour, then getting a customer. 

As I stand to approach the customer, the customer will either greet me warmly, tell me to piss off, or pretend to get a phone call and run away in abject horror at the thought of having to actually speak to a salesman.

After that initial daily re-education in the ways of dealership life, I'll typically be inundated with dozens of calls for our service department and or customers who want to test drive every car on the lot without the slightest clue about what they want. 

Some will say they'll be back.  Some will buy on the spot.  Those who say they'll return are almost invariably lying to buy time for them to escape.  This type of routine resets every few hours and lasts until 9pm, punctuated sporadically by runs to nearby fast food joints in order for us to continually feed.

We as salesmen are fascinated with hot young women, and will definitely be making comments about them in the business office while they remain out of earshot.  Similarly you [as I will now refer to you my reader, as a potential customer] can rest assured that if you are deformed, lisping, drunk, smelly, flamingly gay, obnoxious, arrogant, filthy rich, or have an astonishingly low or high credit score, there's a pretty high degree of certainty we're saying something about you when we're not within range.  This is not necessarily a bad thing.  Talking about customers helps us blow off the stresses involved with meeting them and dealing with them for more than a few minutes and can sometimes result in you getting a better price.

So there you have it.  An uninvited, likely unwelcome, and unashamed snapshot of the life of a salesman.

 

Technorati tags: Cars, sales, business, dealership, work