Monday, March 30, 2009

After the Rain

Into every life, as they say, a little rain must fall.  The trick is finding the beauty in it all.

Rainbow 044

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

What’s the Word?

The Pentagon has stopped using the phrase Global War on Terror.  Obama DID promise change though, and this does qualify.  The best part though is the new nomenclature.  Get this: “Overseas Contingency Operation.”

Calling the War on Terror an Overseas Contingency Operation is like calling a fascist the ‘44th President.”

It’s all in the name.

Back to the Front

I popped in COD: World at War a few minutes ago, and a funny thing happened.  I’ve gotten better.  I think the endless hours of Bad Company have translated into me getting my gaming legs back.  Looks like I’m going to be tearing up some WaW tonight.

Obama Brings on the Change

Remember the good old days before the election when everyone was busy comparing Bush to Hitler, and there were countless discussions about how Republicans were subverting the constitution with the Patriot Act, etc?

Well, all that’s changed.  President Demigod Messiah Barack Jesus Superman Obama has really gotten the ball rolling.  Only a few months into his term, and let’s take a look at just some of the ‘change’:

He’s pushing for mandatory public service in the form of the GIVE act. What’s that you ask?

On March 18, Rep. George Miller, a Democrat from California, tacked an amendment on H.R. 1388, entitled “Generations Invigorating Volunteerism and Education Act,” or GIVE (to government), Obama’s plan to require mandatory service for all able young people. Miller’s amendment will “prohibit organizations from attempting to influence legislation; organize or engage in protests, petitions, boycotts, or strikes; and assist, promote, or deter union organizing.

What about that pesky First Amendment?  You know, the one that says:

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

Now Obamachrist is seeking expanded powers to seize troubled companies.

The Obama administration is considering asking Congress to give the Treasury secretary unprecedented powers to initiate the seizure of non-bank financial companies, such as large insurers, investment firms and hedge funds, whose collapse would damage the broader economy, according to an administration document.

I’ll take my fascism with a side of Second Amendment please.

It had to happen

So I was playing Battlefield Bad Company on XBox Live, and in the middle of this one match, this guy with a thick New York accent starts spouting off obscenities directed at everyone.  He was totally going ballistic to the point where I could imagine veins about to burst out of his skull.  He’s calling everyone on our team f*ing f*gs and motherf*ckers and everything else his tiny little brain could come up with.  I ran to take cover from enemy fire, and he goes around like some digital Dylan Klebold , picking off people on our team, myself included, referencing me with a f*ck you because I was taking cover. From enemy fire.  I turned on the mic and engaged him in a little chat whereupon I reminded him that his excessive references to homosexuality may imply some latent, undiscovered tendencies that he should probably attempt to explore with a willing partner.

I just had to ask him how it really mattered exactly what I was doing.  He responded with ‘you ain’t got no motherf*cking points f*ggot and look at me.’ (The match had just started, and while I currently HAD no points, he had –35.) I then told him politely that –35 was actually a worse score than 0, and thus, he was guilty of digital fellatio, sucking worse than anyone else on the team. 

As he really got mad, I then casually suggested an alternative means to him of easing his anger, which he responded to in the affirmative, saying “If I could, I would…” at which point I felt the argument was complete; his having verbally confirmed my suspicions, I put the whole matter to rest.

The beauty of this whole scene was that he was pissed because people were hiding behind cover and establishing fields of fire.  I should mention at this point that we were playing Defense on Gold Rush mode.  As in, the objective at that time was to DEFEND our gold crates.

Apparently he was under the impression that this game actually had some real significance in his life, which is really kind of sad.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Southwest Airlines: Kickin’ Ass and Spittin Rhymes

This is yet another reason why I think Southwest is the greatest airline in the world.

Flight attendants and rap.  It’s like milk and cookies.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Why Humans Are the Top of the Pyramid

Human beings have managed some astounding feats in our time on this planet, but there are two things we truly, truly excel at.  Finding ways to kill each other, and finding new ways of watching porn.

I’m going to go sob for the fate of our species.

The finer things

I finally managed to override my son's hardcoded genetic programming
and get him off the computer long enough to come outside and play a
bit. Of course he is dressed as batman as is usual.

As I sit here and watch them play I am reminded of the innocence I
once had as a child and I wish that just for a moment I could feel
that again.

Of course as an adult I don't have that privelege anymore so I have to
seek the fun in any situation; to see the silver lining in anything. I
have to remind myself periodically that the things I stress over are
transitory and that the sun will in fact come up tomorrow.

I believe that. It still doesn't diminish my wish to be able to see
the world as a child again if only for a moment.

That I suppose is the true beauty of parenthood; that I can peer
between the gnarled fingers of time as she strains to cover my eyes
with adult concerns. That by watching my children play I can in fact
see through the eyes of a child once more.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Attention All Democrats: Please Suck on This

Cause du Jour

It’s been a little while since I had something on my mind worth ranting about, but I’m ready to fix that.  Here goes.

Natasha Richardson, who was, apparently, famous has died of a head injury sustained in a skiing accident.  She was not wearing a helmet at the time and now USA Today is running a piece about how her accident is ‘rekindling debate’ over the issue of wearing helmets while skiing. 

There’s no debate to be had. If you’re a minor, you should wear a helmet because you’re not able to make an informed decision about doing so.  If you’re an adult, you should be free to choose.  Protect your nugget, or keep yourself exposed to danger.  It’s that simple.  It’s elegant and Darwinian.  End of debate.  Well, it should be, but that would make sense.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Chuck Norris Facts

Fact 456,847,343,123: He has no sense of humor.

Tough-guy actor and martial arts expert Chuck Norris sued publisher Penguin on Friday over a book he claims unfairly exploits his famous name, based on a satirical Internet list of "mythical facts" about him.

Honestly, if the highlight of my recent career was Walker: Texas Ranger, and hawking the ‘Total Gym’ on TV, I’d take all the free publicity I could get.  Just sayin’.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The Cash Grab Continues.

True to their tax and spend roots, the Democrats are poised to unleash more ‘stimulus’ on us.  Short of their own self-congratulatory liberal orgies, I fail to see how these reckless ‘redistribution of wealth’ is stimulating anything.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said Tuesday that Congress needs to "keep the door open" to a second stimulus package -- raising the question of how much the government could eventually spend on top of the $787 billion already allocated to rescue the country from dire economic straits.

"We are going to need more taxpayer money ...”

Throwing more taxpayer funds at severely mismanaged and grossly corrupt and failing businesses is like pissing on a forest fire. It’s simply not going to work.  The system needs to self-correct, not be artificially pumped up.

Frivolity.

I’ll take it.  Seriously.  I would actually do useful stuff with it, instead of, you know, buying A BOOK.

I’m glad someone is doing well enough to piss away enough for a car on Harry Potter.

The Newz. It has skillz.

1337 

News. It’s 1337.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Racist Zombies. Stop the Insanity.

Since all other problems in the world have vanished with the coronation of the new American (Kenyan) Messiah, now we can go after the real evil in society. Racist video games.  First up, Resident Evil 5.

Footage unveiled at the 2007 E3 Media & Business Summit of the mature-rated game's brooding Caucasian protagonist, Chris Redfield, facing off against a horde of black African villagers caused a furor among many gamers online.

Newsweek technology editor N'Gai Croal wrote that many of the teaser's aspects "dovetailed with classic racist imagery."

Good God.  It’s a game about f*cking Zombies.  Must everything be racially motivated?  Cries of racism like this are only a crutch for weak-minded people to get attention.

Grow up.

Pleasant Surprises

I finally forced myself to sit through a full episode of House tonight, and to my surprise, I actually enjoyed it. I’d tried a few times but had never been able to really get into it.  I don’t know what changed, but I really dug it.  Even got a real honest to goodness laugh out of me at one point.

On another note, I picked up a curious little device at Officemax the other day.  It’s a portable backup hard drive by a company called Clickfree.  The neat thing is, it really is.  You literally just plug the thing in to your USB port and off it goes.  It backed up all my music, emails, pictures….everything.  I didn’t have to do a thing other than connect it.  There’s no software to screw around with or anything.  I’m VERY impressed with it. 

Capacity wise, it’s a little small, but taking stock of the files I needed to back up, it will work fine for me.  I picked up the 120 gig version on clearance for 59 bucks.  On the clickfree website it’s going for 89.

I may be upgrading to a bigger model in the near future as my ever-growing digital media collection swells to epic heights.

The only low point of the day was when Kelly drove me from the TV with her insistence on watching Bring it On.  But, if that’s the worst thing to happen I think I can safely say it was a good day.

Friday, March 6, 2009

32 and 2

I’m now two days into my 32nd year on the planet.  It’s been a rollercoaster the past few weeks; anytime moving enters the equation, things get messed up fast.

Between trying to decide what to do about the kids schooling (public vs. private), trying to arrange our new living situation, dealing with unforeseen flat tires and cranky kids, both Kelly and I have been more than a little stressed out.

I’ve been playing a LOT of XBox Live, to the detriment of my novel-reading habit.  I picked up COD4 today and am absolutely loving it.  Everyone was right, it’s ten times more fun than World At War. Next up will be Halo 3.

I’ve been very fortunate to get some new toys recently, namely my new laptop (Inspiron 1545) and my Ipod Touch, which is about the coolest gadget on the planet.

I actually had a pretty great birthday this year.  Kelly and I spent the entire day together, going out for some lunch, pool, and drinks which was a blast.  I realized that as much as I suck at pool, I still love it.  It was like a mid-day date night, and a perfect birthday present.

Later on in the day, my family took us out to eat at Longhorn Steakhouse, which is in my estimation the holy temple of all things that go moo.  I managed to put away an entire New York Strip and all the trappings, and even two days later my intestines are still sore from the delicious experience.

As I sit here regaling you with stories of my birthday, I find it imperative to note that I am currently suffering from XBox Thumb.  Which means, of course, that my hands are actually somewhat sore from overuse of the controller…which brings up something else…what is up with all the four year olds in COD talking trash?  I had to endure a ten minute TDM session with what sounded like castrated little boys going on ad infinitum about the practicality of an ACOG site on an AK-47.

It went a little something like this:

“Motherf*cker, I have a motherf*cking ACOG on my AK”

“That’s gay, motherf*cker, I have a silencer on mine”

“F*ck that sh*t motherf*cker, I like ACOG”

And on and on and on.  I hope someone in their households hears these conversations and takes them out back to kick them in the groin until their balls drop and they grow up a little.

Now that I’m on an XBox rant, I’ve got to note that I’ve only encountered three types of people on there that actually use the microphone.  One is the utter asshole.  The guy that just randomly talks shit to anyone because he’s so confident of his gaming ability that he feels like the incarnation of Christ. These people are gay.

Then you have the pissed off kids who are just learning to swear. And brag about ACOG sites.  It would be cute if it wasn’t so…gay.

Lastly, you have the stoner…the guy who runs his trap the entire match and sounds like : “Oh shitttttt duuuuudeeee…hahahaha oh my GOD shit….wow…shit that f*ck…wow…duuuuuuude man, that’s like shitttttttt…”

Ahh…but I digress.  Anyway, I’m going to bed.  I can’t think anymore.