There are some people on Earth whose entire existance hinges singularly on their ability to be a raging asshole of epic proportion. I know this will come as a great shock to most, and should this information get out to the general public there could well be mass panic, riots in the streets...looting, or even the collapse of major religions. Ok, well not really, but still.
I'm going to open the floodgate and let the torrent flow. My boss is an asshole.
I don't just say this because he's my boss. No, I've had bosses I actually got along famously with in the past. It's just this guy...my God where to begin? The way I usually explain him to people is this. Imagine a hyperactive Jack Russel Terrier with a really bad attitude who is being forced to intake huge quantities of meth.
You only see him at most once or twice a week, and then it's only because he's found you've been party to some excessively minor infraction of a rule that nobody knew existed before he shat it out in a fit of panic at the need to have a rule with which to charge you. I don't know if it's just because he's a diminutive little prick or maybe he just has a diminutive little prick and has to overcompensate for it by running off at the mouth.
There's definitely some Freudian principle at work with him. Of that I'm sure. He's incapable of actually uttering anything polite or inspiring without shortly following it up with a sniping, backstabbing, mean-spirited, verbal dagger of sheer douchebaggery.
It's like...no child left behind, only it's 'no assholish thing left unsaid.' Just as sharks will die if they stop swimming, I think he's convinced his penis will shrink even further if he stops taking shots at people. Apparently he's unable or unwilling to realize that there is a time for being an asshole at work, but that time does not extend from open to close every single day of the week.
I am sick of sucking it up and just letting him rant. From bringing up issues which should have been
resolved privately at staff meetings to calling me at 5 pm on my day off and giving me a blast of shit for not being there and then lying through his crooked teeth and telling me he told me I had to be and too many other instances to get into. (The keyboard would actually break from overuse if I detailed the reasons I can't stand him into a compact, War and Peace style 'tract.')
If you're reading this, ***, I would just like to tell you politely: Piss off, asshole.
