And To All A Good Night!

I was going to write a long and meaningful post tonight about Christmas, but I think this sums it up.

One Way to Get the Point Across

I love hearing stuff like this.

The Colombian army says it has installed a giant Christmas tree in FARC rebel territory, to encourage guerrilla fighters to demobilize.

Special forces infiltrated the remote Macarena mountain range to dress a 25m (82ft) high tree with 2,000 lights.

Movement sensors will make the tree light up when guerrillas approach.

The army says it will put up trees in nine other rebel-held zones to spread the message that Christmas is a good time to abandon armed struggle…

As well as lights, it was decorated with slogans saying "Demobilize, at Christmas everything is possible" and "If Christmas can come to the jungle, you can come home".

Source: BBC

Call of Duty In Real Life

This is utterly perfect in every way.

Where's Your Global Warming Now?

Snowpocalypse 2010. It's here.

 

How True

That's about right.

A Change Of Pace or The Night Away

We needed a change of pace tonight, and luckily, the in-laws needed someone to house-sit. Talk about a happy congruence of events. The kids stayed up a wee bit later than I'd hoped, and my wife crashed out on the delightfully cushy couch I'd planned to call home for the next several hours, but I've got dead quiet and tranquility and that's all I could really ask for right now.

One drawback: the 1880s farm house we're staying in is sorely lacking in its ability to retain heat, and thus, I'm frozen. My toes stopped responding to signals from my brain almost an hour ago. I'm hoping the cat will soon come over and curl up on my feet, to be honest. Instead, he'd rather prowl around on the desk occasionally blocking my view and threatening to knock my precious Boylan's root beer on the floor. Which, I suppose brings up an interesting question. Why am I drinking an ice-cold drink when I'm colder than the arctic ice pack?

Where's global warming when you need it?

In any event, I'm thankful that tonight, the four of us can be just the four of us.

Dealing with Campers in Black Ops

This is how it’s done.

The Neverending Buzzkill

I think my Dad may be the most accomplished, masterful and effortless buzzkill ever to grace the planet.  I have never in my life seen someone so bitter and hateful toward everything.  I just can’t understand it.  I’ve had my share of bad moods, sure, but my God.

Case in point; today was our famous and traditional family sunday dinner.  There’s always a huge spread of food, and there’s myself, my wife, both kids, both parents, and my uncle to devour it all.  Without fail, the moment we begin to speak over dinner my Dad transforms into a smoothly efficient, utterly crochety super grumpinator.  I have no word for what he is, so youre stuck with grumpinator.  He complains about everything.

Here’s an example.

Me: “ This turkey looks great”

Dad: “Yeah but these rolls are ‘cough’ way too dry.  They suck, don’t buy these again.”

Mom: “When did you want to get the Christmas decorations off the attic?”

Dad: “Oh Christ, *sigh* just what I need. Now I guess you’ll want to put up the goddamned tree today too.”

Dad: “You know, the neighbor was telling me he’s going to a job interview in Alabama.  You know that’s where they have all those ‘porch monkeys’.

I am utterly horrified at the stream of hateful bullshit that comes out of his mouth sometimes.  I’m almost afraid to open my mouth around him because it doesn’t matter what I say…well, what anyone says for that matter.  It always gets twisted around and mocked, belittled, or grumped about.   I just don’t understand how one person can hold that much hostility.  I guess maybe it’s a good thing I don’t understand.  Some things are better left alone.  It sucks that he’s one of them.

From the “Things I don’t ever need to see in person” file

Happy Thanksgiving!!

In honor of this most gobblicious day of the year, I would like to wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving!  What better way to celebrate than by showing you a picture of the biggest turkey I’ve ever seen:

Gobble Gobble!

I know I feel safer.

Fuchsia Saturday

It's like Black Friday only earlier.  That's what I'm calling yesterday because of our insane ability to both spend an entire day shopping without rest and to spend $500 on just the kids.

I was so spent (literally and figuratively) after yesterday's excursion that it took me this long to recover.  The sad thing is, I'm not really done yet.

I'm justifying Christmas excess this year by claiming it's my way of supporting the economy without the need for excessive and shady government bailouts.  You know, pure capitalism at work.  Hey, it sounds good to me.

On a side note, I think my son will, after December 25th, own more Star Wars merchandise than George Lucas.

Your Thought For The Day Part 97

Midnight Madness

Last night as we were lying in bed talking idly before sleep, I was explaining some mundane fact to Kelly. I gave my thirty second speech and got no response. I asked her if she'd heard me and she replied groggily, "Mmmhmm."

I doubted it, so I said, "Ok, what did I just say?"

The answer, "Giraffe."

Me: "What?" *followed by a fit of laughter*

Her: "I said that because I was thinking about a Giraffe."

This, I now realize, is a prime example of why discussions should be had with the lights on.

Just in time for Halloween

Not long ago, during one of my marathon random browsing sessions, I stumbled across a website talking about "Instrumental Transcommunication" which is basically using a machine to communicate with the dead. Following some links around the web I then landed on a page where people had posted images of what they claim were spirits that they were able to capture through some odd photographic techniques. One of these techniques involved shooting video of a rippling pan of water, then going through the frames one by one to see if any spirits had used the interplay of light and shadow to manifest their images.

I'm aware that the brain is hardwired to perceive patterns where there may not be any, but all the same, it's an interesting idea and sounded like something fun to try. Needless to say I then went out to the kitchen, filled a pot with water, agitated it to get some movement and then filmed away. Did I capture anything?

Thoughts for a Sunday Morning

Some people went to church; I played Guitar Hero. Thou mayest sucketh it.

Tough Break, Kid

Not that anyone noticed but I haven't been here in a while. Again. This time though, I have an actual bona fide excuse. I broke my wrist about a month and a half ago during a wrestling match with a steroid-fueled grizzly bear who also happened to be hopped up on PCP. He put up a tough fight, but in the end, I took him down.

Okay, that's actually bullshit. I broke it at the movie theater. I fell on the stairs while trying to climb to the top of Mount Theater 14 so I could enjoy Toy Story 3 with the kids. I lost my balance, fell, and tried in vain to catch myself on a stair.

There was a nice wet popping sound, excrutiating pain, and a really cool fireworks display that only I got to see.

To make a long story short, the cast has been off a few weeks now, but I still have a lot of pain and stiffness in my wrist but nothing that won't go away in time (I think.) All the same, until recently, typing was nearly impossible, and at the very least, rather uncomfortable.

It's funny to think that as a kid I always thought it would be cool to have a cast on my arm like it would be evidence of some epic battle that I'd survived. Then, at the age of 33, I actually got a cast and found out that not only was it not cool but it in fact sucked massive amounts of ass.

I remember seconds after I climbed into the chair at the theater; there I was gasping for breath, cradling my throbbing wrist and cursing my own stupidity. Two thoughts ran through my head in quick succession. One, the kids would have to miss the movie as I obviously needed to go to the ER. Two, I knew without a doubt I would not be able to play Xbox for quite some time.

I'm sitting there in agony and I'm actually thinking about shit like that.

Anyway, it's all over. The cast is gone, my arm has returned to its pre-atrophy state, and I'm back to gaming. Can't really flex the wrist all that much yet, but at least I've got the basics covered. Ahem.

I'm thankful it happened when it did though, since I'm going back to school in October and it's nice to have both arms operational.

Now that I've got all that off my chest, I'm off to finish filling out Gamestop satisfaction surveys in the vain hope I'll be the $500 gift card winner. Then, the kids go to bed, and I'm going to dive back into Mafia 2. Good times.

Heh #17

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.

One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin.

When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: ordering three pints and drinking them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs.

"Oh, no," he says, "Everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking."

Don't look at me like that, it's funny.

Hahahahahahahaha

As I was saying...

Thanks for the repeat performance, mother nature, you bitch.

T minus 360 days.

Any Questions?

Yet another reason I can NOT wait to move.

And on the Fourth of July...

The Fourth of July this year is, for the first time in a while, one I will remember. Everything just went perfectly today. After we ate lunch, the kids got into their new pool for a few hours and couldn't have been any happier if they tried.

As evening approached, we tried to decide the best strategy for navigating to and from the local fireworks, which though pretty, are always a mess to contend with.

We decided to head up the road a little bit and watch the fireworks in Hagerstown. As we got close, we realized that getting on the fairgrounds would probably be more trouble than it was worth, so we did what a lot of others had; parked in a shopping center nearby.

The four of us rolled out the blanket on the side of a hill outside the shopping center and kicked back to enjoy the show. It was spectacular. Not just the fireworks, but also the chance to just be the four of us.

Sniper: Ghost Warrior Singleplayer Review

Ever since the days of Wolfenstein 3D, I've been a huge fan of the FPS genre. I've ventured into other fortes, like racing, 3rd person games and even flight sims, but shooters are just my thing.

Enter 'Sniper: Ghost Warrior' on the XBox 360. A few months ago I caught wind of this 'budget' title from City Interactive, and the screenshots and gameplay videos grabbed my attention at once. Most FPS games require you to go in guns blazing, but the thought of a current generation sniping game sounded fresh and interesting.

I headed out to Gamestop last night and picked up my copy, which at $39.99 didn't exactly break the bank.

Graphically, the game is gorgeous. The tropical jungle setting is lush and crisp. There are some jaggies once in a while, but nothing to break the immersion.

The controls feel great. If you've played another FPS recently, you'll get the control scheme immediately. It's virtually identical to Call of Duty, down to clicking the right stick for a melee attack. Movement is very precise and responsive.

Sound design is excellent as well. From the enemies chattering away as you sneak past them to the 'ping' of a silenced shot to the chatter of an M4A1, it all just sounds right.

The levels are fairly linear, with some flexibility to choose your own path.

A lot of people online have been whining about how the enemies seem to magically be able to find you when you're hidden. What people have not been talking about however is the stealth indicator in the game that shows you how well you're hidden. Using that as a reference, moving low and slow, and staying under the cover of foliage, you will stay concealed unless you literally bump up against an enemy. I haven't had any problems there.

One of Sniper:Ghost Warrior's trademarks is the bullet-cam. When you line up the perfect headshot and squeeze the trigger, you're treated to a Hollywood-style slow motion tracking shot of the bullet leaving your rifle, traversing the gap, and ultimately impacting your target with a nice bloody result. No matter how many times you see it, it's still a rush when the bullet cam kicks in.

There are a few small hiccups that detract from the game, but only slightly. Namely, the grappling hook, used in a few places to move to higher or lower ground. The controls are awkward and I ended up getting killed a few times as I seemed to get stuck trying to move down the rope and had to finesse the sticks to get the job done.

Fortunately, these incidents are few and far between.

Overall, for a shooter that doesn't come from an A-list studio, I think City Interactive did a hell of a job producing a solid, rewarding, and damned fun to play FPS.

At $39.99, it's a solid buy.

Your thought for the day

Fits and Starts

I know, I go away and leave this blog to gather dust for a while, then come back sporadically with promises of grandeur and regular updates, only to not follow through.

Well, this time, I think enough has actually changed in my life to warrant a fresh start. I mean, 5+ years into this blog, it's almost an obligation at this point to keep it going. At least to me, and since I'm the only person who actually reads it, that's all that matters.

I've found a new sense of focus and I'm pumped to re-start posting here. Some major lifestyle changes are coming my way, well 'our' way, since my family is involved too. We've decided to go a new direction, quite literally, and it's the most exciting thing to happen to me in a long time.

Namely, we're moving. Not just across town, but across the country. It's still about a year out, but the plan is in motion and things are beginning to happen. Budgets are being made, plans drawn up, career changes being initiated, etcetera. It's a lot to plan for, and I'm under no illusion it's going to be a seamless, easy transition. Nothing of that magnitude ever really is. What we're focusing on is the end result. A cheaper place to live, with an overall better quality of life. Breathtaking scenery. Clean air. A more relaxed lifestyle.

We've just decided to get away from family, and this area, and just be the four of us. For too long we've lived too close to our families, and that's been more stressful than anything. We've also lived the east-coast daily ratrace, and we're tired of it.

We don't want a huge house. We don't want expensive cars. We just want a nice place to live that meets our needs where we can get outside and enjoy life in ways that just aren't possible here....and to enjoy being a family in ways that aren't possible here.

I'm declaring it today. Maybe putting it here will keep me more aware and accountable of the things I've got to follow through with to make it happen.

Our plan: Montana. Date: July 15, 2011.

It begins now.

Who is this dude and why is he in my internet?

I keep seeing ads with this dude...why I ask you...why? This is three times in three days, on three seperate ads. I didn't grab a screencap of the second one because I didn't think it was going to be a trend.

Modern Warfare 2: Hail to the King

This needs no introduction, nor comment.

Return to Web Ad Design School Maybe

This is what I get for reading National Geographic. Does not compute.

Pat Robertson is Still a Dumbass

I really hope the Haitian people are fortunate enough in the wake of the earthquake there to manage to avoid hearing this asshole. This has to be the stupidest shit to ever come out of a human's mouth.

Them's Fightin' Words

Nothing's better than highbrow sarcastic Teutonic car ads.

Back to Mac and Back on Track

To ripoff a way overplayed rock song, 'it's been awhile' since I've posted here. I had a few false starts getting back into the groove, but now that we're slowly getting into the new year, and now that I've got a computer that doesn't piss me off so much, I'm going to make a conscious effort to be more regular. Here, I mean, not 'regular' as in Metamucil / fiber / pooping, because I'm already fine in that department. Not that you need to know, but, well, now you do, and since we're all friends here for the most part, I guess that's ok. In fact, I might be a little too regular there, but I don't want to get into that right now.

So much has happened since the last time I sat down and decided to grace the world with my thoughts that I'm not really sure what to start with. Let's just assume for the sake of argument that I'll think of something. Got to go eat some dinner, so until I get back with my next wit-filled update, enjoy the video.