A Million Suns Ago

a cacaphony of echoes inside my head
ricochet off my skull and bore mercilessly,
twisting and searing into my brain
tearing, ripping, shredding, destroying;
these reverberations in my head have by now
long since silenced any last semblance of sanity
and broken me down one dream at a time
now here I lay before you, bruised and scarred
open your mouth and chamber a round,
point the muzzle at me and speak
one more round and all will be calm
open your mouth and fire

Something Just Isn't Right

I can't figure out why this is bothering me so much. I was at work today when I checked the Drudge Report and saw that a new pope had been elected. I've mentioned before that I'm not a Catholic, so in all seriousness, I really shouldn't care. And to be honest, I really didn't care...I was curious, but that was pretty much it.

For some reason, when it was announced who the new pope was, I was hit with the most sincere feeling of being un-nerved that I can remember. I don't even know the man, yet for some reason, I am eerily suspicious of him. To be fair, I am aware that he has a past with the Nazi party during his youth, but truth be told, any man his age from Germany probably does; and honestly, if he really was forced to be a part of it, then I certainly don't hold it against him.

That being said, that's not what bothers me about him. Maybe it's this weird connection to St. Malachy, and the prophecy that said this pope would be from the Order of St. Benedict. When I saw that he had chosen the name Benedict XVI for himself, I literally got the chills. Namely because the aforementioned prophecy claimed the next pope after him would be the antichrist. That's a little creepy even for someone as marginally religious as I am.

I can't put my finger on it, but I just get a bad feeling about this man. I certainly hope I'm proven wrong. John Paul II trusted him, so that counts for something. I don't know. If any Catholics read this, no offense is intended and you do have my sincere congratulations on what for you must be an exciting day.

MAChinations

God do I love the Mac. I have never had this much fun with a computer. But I digress. Nothing much is terribly new, so I will just add this random bit of freeform poetry or whatever you call it that I came up with today.

i’m trapped

melted down and fused into your 
putrid plastic reality

i’m sick to death of you
 trying
to mold me
 force me and shape me 

to conform to the form 
of your warped pipedream
and
 sicker still of your duality
-
heavy-handed hypocrisy 

you obfuscate and subjugate
 and do no wrong

your heartless mind needs this completeness

of perceived perfection to sustain the illusion

that you are somehow

worth something

to someone

Don't know where that came from, but it was written sitting in a Toyota pickup in Silver Spring.

In Memoriam

I'm not a Catholic, and sometimes barely worthy of the title Christian, but for some reason the death of the Pope has really hit me pretty hard. I guess maybe I'm so used to all the evil horrid news stories about the hideous, vile people and places on this planet, that the loss of this one man, who dedicated himself to all that was good and right really seems to resonate.

I actually feel humbled by the man, whom I've never seen, nor devoted much attention to. What kind of character this man must have had to devote himself so entirely to God and the wellbeing of mankind. Even if you're not religious, you have to be humbled by such courage, strength and devotion. It reminds me of another human who dedicated his life to serving the will of God in an unbelieving world.

Rest in Peace, Pope John Paul II.

The Glorious Appearing

I'm still sick. Miserable is more like it. Head colds are the absolute worst. All the coughing, sneezing, runny nose stuff gets old. I still am actually at a loss to figure out exactly how the human head can produce so much sludge. Some things are best left as mysteries. I felt like crap and left work after less than an hour. On the way home I decided to pick up some Zicam to try to knock this thing out as fast as possible. So far, I've managed to disgust myself with the chalky taste of the disolvable tablets I for some reason chose over the less invasive nasal spray. They're so disgusting and revolting that I'd almost rather just feel sick.

On top of all that, poor little Jack has caught what I have. I feel so bad for my little man. Hopefully he'll sleep well tonight and fight this off. Hopefully I will too.

As I sat around the house wiping my nose and generally feeling horrid today, I was suddenly stirred into motion by the sight of a FedEx truck coming down the road...slowing, and pulling into my driveway. I leapt from my chair like a kid on Christmas morning. My iBook has arrived, and I'm using it to post right now. My initial impressions? I'm NEVER going back to windows. Never. I remember when I got my compaq laptop; it took nearly an hour to get the wireless connectivity to work. My iBook hooked up to the network while it was going through the set-up process. Seamless. And smooth....oh how smooth. This truly is the BMW of computers.

I could punch myself for not switching sooner.