This is the stupidest, most brain-dead, utterly indescribable piece of half-assed shit journalism I’ve ever seen in my life.
I know that sometimes even MY posts are pointless…and since I have approximately 2 readers, they probably ALL are; though at least even my most groan inducing, nausea generating posts have ten times the relevance of this shit. Ordinarily I would cite the thing…but this abortion of an article needs to be reposted in full to be enjoyed.
Please prepare to enter the zone of whatthefuck, where nothing makes sense, and you’ll wonder if it’s possible to retrieve that minute of time you’ll spend reading this.
Enjoy:
After witnessing a Satyricon concert, one's first thought typically is to meet the legendary black metal drummer Frost. Having played in established acts such as Gorgoroth and 1349, he is quite renown in the black metal community.
The only way to meet and converse with either of the members of Satyricon was to patiently wait. A plethora of fans crowded around Frost, eager for his signature on their skin or an object. Everybody wanted an autograph, it was absolute chaos in the Gothic Theatre. After the room cleared out, I approached Frost. "I would not like an autograph. Instead I have a question: What is freedom to you?" I asked him, searching for some form of substance, expecting a magnificent or even thoughtful answer. Frost looked astonished, his eyes darted across the room as though looking for an answer. "I just got done playing a show, i'm tired, and you're asking me philosophical questions?" Frost said, as an unexplainable smile spread across his face. "Yes!" I responded, laughing, trying to make him more comfortable in the conversation. "Let me think about it for a few minutes." He said, turning around to the fans that were left in the room.
Patiently I waited next to him for about 20 minutes, and then moved aside and spent the remainder of the time awaiting a response. Waiting for some kind of unique wisdom that would redeem his prior comment. No such thing occurred, as he never did answer my question. However, he seemed to have no objection to giving fans his autograph as frequently as possible.
I’m going to go around randomly asking people that now. Jesus.
I’m still trying to figure out if it’s a joke or just literally the stupidest attempt to fill space on the internet in the history of the planet.
In any case, here’s my reply:
