Rapist to Go Nutless for Reduced Term

Talk about choosing the lesser of two evils.  Let's see...life in prison...or...get your balls cut off and be out in 25.  Take this as a perfect example of why crime most assuredly does NOT pay.

Bobby James Allen pleaded guilty Monday to three counts of armed sexual battery and various other charges involving attacks that happened in 1998 and 1999. Allen filed a motion requesting castration in exchange for a reduced sentence.

Circuit Judge Michael Overstreet agreed to sentence Allen to 25 years' prison on Sept. 20 if has the procedure in the next eight days. If Allen does not go through with the operation, he faces up to life in prison.

"You understand that this procedure is the removal of your testicles?" Overstreet asked Allen.

"I have spoken with all the victims," prosecutor Larry Basford told Overstreet. "They agree that this sentence punishes him and would deter him and others from similar acts."

I want to go hug mine right now and tell them it's going to be alright.

 

Technorati tags: Bobby James Allen, rape, crime, Michael Overstreet, prison, jail, castration

The Internet In One Link

This is it.  This is really what it's all about.

 

Technorati tags: humor, matrix

Perspective is Everything

I'll Be Trading In My Tricycle

I see plenty of strange things working in the car business, but the other day I saw something completely fresh and new.

Standing in the showroom, I saw a Dodge Durango pull on the lot and cruise slowly around, stopping briefly several times before disappearing behind the building.  Moments later, it reappeared on the other side and stopped.  The right rear passenger door popped open and a boy who could not possibly have been a day over age ten got out.

I took a deep breath and readied myself to greet the rest of the family, but no one else emerged.  The boy walked around the car, walked down the row of cars in front of the showroom and looked inside each, noting the price on the window sticker.

I shot a glance back at the Durango and saw 'Dad' shouting orders at the boy.  I've seen people run for their cars at my approach, had people yell at me for saying hi but never once have I had someone so mortified of talking to a salesman that they shove their own child out the door and onto the lot.

What kind of family dynamic is that?  And how big of a sissy do you have to be to send your ten year old out to look so you don't have to talk to me?

I walked out the door, cruised right past the Durango, and introduced myself to the kid, handing him a business card in full view of the stunned family.

The things I have to deal with.

Technorati tags: cars, dealerships, shopping, salesmen

Some People Have All the Luck

For most people, getting shot outside their home might be an indicator they live in a crappy neighborhood.  Some people seem not to mind so much.

"A 25-year-old Frederick man was shot early Monday (Sept. 3rd) morning at Country Hill Apartments...police received the call at 3:37 a.m., and found Brandon Joseph McCallister with a gunshot wound to the lower side of his abdomen.

On Aug. 11, McCallister was shot in the lower body in another incident on Heather Ridge Drive. At that time, McCallister was found with several gunshot wounds..."

I'd suggest either moving or finding a line of work that doesn't involve standing outside on street-corners at 3:30 in the morning.  Just my two cents.

 

Technorati tags: Crime, Maryland, Frederick, shootings, violence

Border Patrol Chief: We don't do borders.

Every now and then something happens to make the news that just staggers the mind.  It's almost as if some people are either so incredibly stupid or contrary that they make statements they can't possibly themselves believe.

Take for instance the Border Patrol head who is adamant that his job is not to protect our borders.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again," Carlos X. Carrillo, Border Patrol chief of Laredo, Texas, told guests at a town-hall meeting Thursday. "The Border Patrol's job is not to stop illegal immigrants. The Border Patrol's job is not to stop narcotics. ... The Border Patrol's mission is not to stop criminals."

Carillo is either totally incompetent, or first in line for a high-paying executive position within the North American Union. He's towing someone's company line, but it sure isn't the Border Patrol's.

Surely I jest, right?

T.J. Bonner, president of the National Border Patrol Council, a union representing 12,000 front-line agents, said he was baffled by the Laredo chief's statements.

"It is shocking that such a high-ranking official would make a statement that is so completely at odds with the law and the Border Patrol's mission," Mr. Bonner said. "It is equally disturbing that no one at a higher level has taken any steps to reassure employees and the public that the Border Patrol will continue to intercept all illicit traffic that it encounters.

In fact, Carillo contends the sole job of the Border Patrol is to stop terrorists from getting into the country, not illegal immigrants.  Yep.

But wait: here comes the back-pedal. 

David Aguilar, head of the Border Patrol, defended Mr. Carrillo and said his comments were taken out of context.

"Our mission is to protect our country's borders from all threats," Mr. Aguilar said. "Our highest priority is keeping terrorists and terrorist weapons from entering our country.

"We have never, nor will we ever, decrease or minimize our aggressive efforts in enforcing the rule of law."

One of these two men is either lying or ignorant. Either way that's a bad thing.

Technorati tags: Border Patrol, Bonner, Illegal immigration, Aguilar, Carrillo, Tancredo, NAU, SPP

Where You At?

Once again life has kept me from updating, but not from having more of my patented bizarre, scandalous and shocking adventures.

Today's adventure was of the benign variety, so let the gory details commence. 

While changing a diaper today, I noticed something large and blue inside my daughter's nose.  Now, being a father I've seen many multicolored things come out of places you wouldn't expect, but this one struck me as unusual.  I called the wife over for backup, and she immediately recognized the blue, nostril-blocking obstruction as - an aquadot. My children have never been the type to taste things they shouldn't, or insert things into their head...until today. 

I can't explain why, but Aeryn apparently thought it would be fun to ram an actual frigging aquadot into her skull.

She gave us no clue it was in there; it was only my obsessive fatherly booger-check that detected it in the first place.

She held remarkably still while doctor mom removed it with a pair of tweezers, thus saving the day. Fittingly, she followed up with a diaper full of irish-green, pasty, sticky napalm-poop.  It was the kind of thing you'd see if she'd eaten and digested a leprechaun.  It was nauseating, though strangely fruity smelling, but I digress.

 Between this adventure and Jack's geyser-like pus-filled infected leg of doom last month, I've had my fill of kids in distress for a while.