I’ve come to the conclusion that I live across the street from either a medical experiment in hybridization gone horribly wrong, or a mafia enforcer with the worst taste in clothes I’ve ever seen. (Or lack thereof.)
Not to be an asshole here, but you know, sometimes you really should either take a good long look in the mirror before you step outside your door…or…spend some of that well earned mafia money on Jenny Craig and some plastic surgery.
Case in point: What the hell is this thing? 
Behold: Beauty or Beast?
Not only does it look like something out of a b-grade horror flick, it kind of quacks like a duck when it talks. It does so often. Loudly. I’m also pretty sure I saw either a loaf of bread or a small child fall out from under its gut when it stood up too.
And to think I used to have such faith in humanity.
