Ever since the accident in November I've noticed a difference in my ability to ride in and drive cars. I think I've got some automotive-induced variant of PTSD which, as a car salesman, isn't the greatest malady to suffer from. I'm now fully convinced that every time I ride in the passenger seat, we're going to crash. (Note: I was driving during the accident.)
I've also noticed that I'm nearly incapable of driving in foul weather. (Note: the weather was clear during the accident.) The mere thought of getting behind the wheel of a car with snow or slush on the ground is enough to give me the beginnings of a bowel-churning anxiety attack.
The other day on the way in to work, in no less than a snow squall, I realized mid-way there that I was in a near zen-like state of intense concentration. My grip on the steering wheel by all rights should have broken it. I probably could have teleported myself and the car to work just by harnessing the sheer willpower I was devoting to the mantra 'do not crash.'
I'm pre-occupied with sliding off the road, people pulling out in front of me blindly (like the accident), and being slid into by another car. It's actually quite difficult to cope with, but I've been able to squeak by so far.
I wonder if this actually could be some mild form of PTSD, or if I've just got a case of the jitters. It's been 5 months, I kind of think I should be over it by now.
