Since becoming the father of two, I'm finding that more and more of my priorities have changed. My family has always been the most important thing in my life, but now fatherhood is forcing other old habits and desires out the door.
First is gaming. I used to be, until recently, quite the hardcore online gamer. I tried to play as much as possible and to be the best, most accurate, fastest player I could be. I devoted a significant number of hours a week to an online gaming 'clan,' and was quite focused on it. I even went so far as to shell out a few thousand dollars to build a top-of-the-line gaming computer.
For a year or so, I really enjoyed it. But now...I just have completely lost interest. Having given away my CPU when building another computer, I don't even have the desire to buy another one to resurrect the slumbering silver behemoth. Its neon blue eye may never again open on the world.
My former best friend, who at one time told me I was like a brother to him, has stopped conversing with me since I've cut my presence online. I guess that shows how good of a friend he really was. All he ever posts about or emails me about are things concerning either computer parts, overclocking, or website issues. Not even so much as a word of congratulations on the birth of my daughter. I expected more, and perhaps that sense of mislaid importance is helping drive my departure from online gaming. That and total apathy.
I just find it odd, because ever since I can remember, I have loved computer games...losing myself in them for hours. Now, I find myself immersed in working in photoshop and wanting to get back into writing more.
I barely have the mental fortitude to even visit the clan website...it's more of a chore than it is fun anymore. I'm done with it, really. I just am finding it hard to tell anyone that. I'll get around to it. I kind of think the best way for me to go about it is just not even bother to visit the site and let myself disappear. At least I'd avoid confrontation that way, and be free to go on with my life not having to even think about it.
Away with you, games. Bring on fatherhood.
