The other night we took the kids to the pumpkin patch. It's an awesome local tradition; farmers convert their property into autumn themed playgrounds complete with crafts and food. The kids had a blast playing on the huge 'hay mountain' slides and crawling through tunnels. There were animals for the kids to see, a gigantic cornfield maze and tractor-pulled hayrides to the pumpkin patch.
After letting the kids burn off some steam, and watching a pig race (you had to see it to believe it. I had no idea pigs were so fast) we climbed up onto the wagon and started off. To our side was a family consisting of what appeared to be a mother, father, uncle, aunt and four or five kids.
The ride was going smoothly until I noticed it. The king. The grandpa. The mack-daddy of stupid.
The mother and father were both sitting quietly, jaws clenched in an 'I'm a badass' pose. Each wore a matching black and silver motorola bluetooth earpiece. Neither was using it.
As much of a lover of technology as I am, that is one piece of tech that as far as I'm concerned could simply disappear into the ether. Not because they're not useful. Hell, when driving I think they're fantastic. It's when people wear them all the time, like a fashion accessory they become...stupid. If I want to see people looking like the Borg, I'll watch a re-run of ST:TNG.
Call me old fashioned, but given that I was on a family outing, trying to let my kids enjoy the beautiful day and all the activities, I left my cell phone in the car. I figured anyone who needed to reach me could leave a voicemail, and I'd just get back to them when I got back. I really didn't think that on a Sunday afternoon, when my family was with me, there'd be anything pressing enough that I would have to keep an earpiece stuck to the side of my head.
These people apparently had to stay in the loop. It looked as if breaking their connections to the T-Mobile collective would kill them instantly. What made it even more sad was the fact that both the mother and father had them. They were sitting right beside each other, without talking, and still wearing their little toys.
Please people, make a concerted effort to not look like a dumbass. Nobody thinks you're cool. Nobody's going to point you out and say 'Oh cool man, he's got an earpiece!' That kind of showing off belongs back in third grade.
There's not exactly an elaborate installation or setup process involved, so just take the thing off when you don't need it and put it in your pocket. Trust me, you can get it back on in three seconds. That is, of course, assuming the act of lifting your three ounce cell phone to your head is unbearably strenuous.
Take off the earpieces. Don't do it for me. Do it for yourself and your dignity.
