Advertisements are everywhere these days. In your email, on your cell phone, you just can't escape them. I can understand that. It's annoying as hell, but from a business standpoint, I understand bombarding potential customers any conceivable way you can conjure up makes good sense.
There is one place where advertising never, ever, ever belongs. Kids home videos. Being home with two children who are spectacularly attached to Barney, the Wiggles and Dora the Explorer, I can tell you that in order to keep their viewing habits fed, I own quite a large library of children's DVDs and VHS tapes.
Any parent out there knows that when your child asks to watch the 'Dora tape' they want instant gratification. Any parent also knows this instant gratification can sometimes abort a temper tantrum before it goes nuclear. Why then must I sit through TWENTY minutes of commercials for cartoons my kids don't like before the actual episode of Dora starts? On a VHS tape, that's irritating beyond belief. There have been a number of times where the kids get completely pissed off and disinterested before the show ever starts. I don't blame them.
What's unconscionable is that this persists even on DVDs. I stick in the Wiggles DVD and get ads for six or seven other shows, and often these ads are impossible to skip or fast forward.
I'm sure the mentality was to expose the kids and parents to a whine-fest to entice them to purchase the other titles. That's only logical. The problem is, it just results in a whine-fest as the kids are chanting the name of the show they want me to play for them while I struggle frantically to get it playing as quickly as possible. Whoever thought putting twenty to twenty-five minutes of ads at the beginning of kids movies should be forced to sit in a room full of toddlers and show them nothing but ads for an hour. Or shot. That would actually be preferable.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Chinese Racism Revealed
How dare those racist Chinese think for one second they're entitled to mistreat their poor Korean neighbors by denying them the right to live and work in China? China should be building 'bridges' to Korean communities and possibly even attempt to work out some sort of guest-worker program with North Korea that would allow their citizens to start down the path to Chinese citizenship.
The last thing China needs to be doing in this age of cooperation is to be fostering hatred and racism by...building a border fence and stepping up patrols to keep North Koreans out.
Source: World Tribune
The last thing China needs to be doing in this age of cooperation is to be fostering hatred and racism by...building a border fence and stepping up patrols to keep North Koreans out.
China has put up a massive concrete and barbed wire fence along parts of its border with North Korea to block a possible influx of refugees as strong international sanctions are enacted in response to Pyongyang's program to develop nuclear weapons.If you don't understand my blatant sarcasm in the first half of this post, please just go jump off a bridge. China has the right mentality in dealing with this issue. They don't give the slightest crap what anyone else thinks. They're going to protect themselves, so they did what's necessary. If only we could get off our P.C. high horse and learn a lesson here.
In addition, China's People's Liberation Army recently conducted military exercises and deployed additional troops near the North Korean border.
South Korean media reports quoted border residents who said the 20-kilometer-long fence was erected immediately after North Korea announced its nuclear test. China has also stepped up patrols and inspections along the border with the North, they said.
The border fence, 2.5-meter-high T-shaped concrete poles strung with barbed wire, was constructed along the river with lower banks and narrower width, indicating that it is designed to stop North Koreans from crossing into China.
"The aim of these facilities is to improve management and control conditions and ensure good order at the borders," China's Foreign Ministry spokesman Liu Jianchao said. The move is not in response to the North's nuclear test on Oct. 9, he said.
Source: World Tribune
Monday, October 23, 2006
Productivity, I Hardly Knew Ye
The 'Sudoku' craze has managed to avoid me, or I it, so far. That is until today. Since I'm about as good at math as a drunken ape, I've traditionally stayed away from anything that prominently featured numbers as a selling point.
I stumbled upon a downloadable Sudoku game for Windows, and having a little time to kill while the kids played, I figured what the heck. I'd see what the craze was about. Somehow, an hour passed before I looked up from the screen. I was down to two numbers and was stuck; I called in my wife for backup. A few minutes later, we had it.
I got up to take a break and she started a new round, solving it by herself in half the time it took me. (I'm still pissed about that, but oh well.) Now the obsession is complete. We're both addicted.
The game is pretty easy to get the hang of, but deceptively simple. If you've never checked out the game, rest assured, there's no math involved. Check it out, and say good bye to any other casual game you might like. This will consume you.
The game is called Pure Sudoku. Get it HERE, it's WELL worth the download.
I stumbled upon a downloadable Sudoku game for Windows, and having a little time to kill while the kids played, I figured what the heck. I'd see what the craze was about. Somehow, an hour passed before I looked up from the screen. I was down to two numbers and was stuck; I called in my wife for backup. A few minutes later, we had it.
I got up to take a break and she started a new round, solving it by herself in half the time it took me. (I'm still pissed about that, but oh well.) Now the obsession is complete. We're both addicted.
The game is pretty easy to get the hang of, but deceptively simple. If you've never checked out the game, rest assured, there's no math involved. Check it out, and say good bye to any other casual game you might like. This will consume you.
The game is called Pure Sudoku. Get it HERE, it's WELL worth the download.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
The Cylon Model We Never Saw Coming
It's bad enough they look like humans. Now the Cylons have unveiled their latest model.
This is the most high leader of badass Jack-O-Lanterns. Here's how it's done.
This is the most high leader of badass Jack-O-Lanterns. Here's how it's done.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Sweet Plurality
This has been bothering me all day. Is a single 'Certs' candy a 'Cert' or a 'Certs'? Likewise, is it a 'Mento' or a 'Mentos'?
See, I know that's a weird little conundrum to have banging off the inside of my skull, but, it's there and so help me, I need an answer. Anyone?
See, I know that's a weird little conundrum to have banging off the inside of my skull, but, it's there and so help me, I need an answer. Anyone?
Reason #17 Why The West Is Superior
I've gotten my first hateful comment. Yay me. All because of a little lighthearted post called Reason #16 Why The West Is Superior. (Actually, it's more like reason 456,988 but I thought a little distortion wouldn't hurt.) I earned a little 'MoHate' by posting a simple comparison of middle eastern and western women's attire.
My incisive, stinging commentary ruffled some feathers, and though I responded to the comment, I felt it necessary to further shame the author by using it to illustrate this, reason #17 in my series 'Why The West Is Superior.'
Without further delay: the words of Mohit. Let them bathe you in wisdom.
Ironically, when I went to look at 'Mohit's' Blogger profile, I noticed it was private...as in...behind a veil.
My incisive, stinging commentary ruffled some feathers, and though I responded to the comment, I felt it necessary to further shame the author by using it to illustrate this, reason #17 in my series 'Why The West Is Superior.'
Without further delay: the words of Mohit. Let them bathe you in wisdom.
Reason #17 Why The West Is Superior: Literacy.that's bullshit u scumbag??let me tell ya how west is better off??u guys
fuck your moms at night and see your sisters getting fucked at night...just bcoz
there nothing really to look back at...doesn't mean u ain't got nothing...but of
course...you've got yourself and even that i am sure would be for sale when
needed to...
Ironically, when I went to look at 'Mohit's' Blogger profile, I noticed it was private...as in...behind a veil.
Elmo's World...of Smut
As you, my six dedicated readers may have noticed, with the exception of the occasional profanity, I do my best to keep this a relatively tame place. A few funny adult related stories pop up from time to time (heh heh, I said pop up...) er, but I do my best to not spread what we in the Internets call NSFW material.
This is not one of those times. Through serendipity, I came across this...well, not really, I just found it. God, the double entendres..ugh. Anyway, if you're a parent of a toddler, you'll appreciate this immensely. Just don't show it to them.
This is not one of those times. Through serendipity, I came across this...well, not really, I just found it. God, the double entendres..ugh. Anyway, if you're a parent of a toddler, you'll appreciate this immensely. Just don't show it to them.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Stupid Human Accessories
The other night we took the kids to the pumpkin patch. It's an awesome local tradition; farmers convert their property into autumn themed playgrounds complete with crafts and food. The kids had a blast playing on the huge 'hay mountain' slides and crawling through tunnels. There were animals for the kids to see, a gigantic cornfield maze and tractor-pulled hayrides to the pumpkin patch.
After letting the kids burn off some steam, and watching a pig race (you had to see it to believe it. I had no idea pigs were so fast) we climbed up onto the wagon and started off. To our side was a family consisting of what appeared to be a mother, father, uncle, aunt and four or five kids.
The ride was going smoothly until I noticed it. The king. The grandpa. The mack-daddy of stupid.
The mother and father were both sitting quietly, jaws clenched in an 'I'm a badass' pose. Each wore a matching black and silver motorola bluetooth earpiece. Neither was using it.
As much of a lover of technology as I am, that is one piece of tech that as far as I'm concerned could simply disappear into the ether. Not because they're not useful. Hell, when driving I think they're fantastic. It's when people wear them all the time, like a fashion accessory they become...stupid. If I want to see people looking like the Borg, I'll watch a re-run of ST:TNG.
Call me old fashioned, but given that I was on a family outing, trying to let my kids enjoy the beautiful day and all the activities, I left my cell phone in the car. I figured anyone who needed to reach me could leave a voicemail, and I'd just get back to them when I got back. I really didn't think that on a Sunday afternoon, when my family was with me, there'd be anything pressing enough that I would have to keep an earpiece stuck to the side of my head.
These people apparently had to stay in the loop. It looked as if breaking their connections to the T-Mobile collective would kill them instantly. What made it even more sad was the fact that both the mother and father had them. They were sitting right beside each other, without talking, and still wearing their little toys.
Please people, make a concerted effort to not look like a dumbass. Nobody thinks you're cool. Nobody's going to point you out and say 'Oh cool man, he's got an earpiece!' That kind of showing off belongs back in third grade.
There's not exactly an elaborate installation or setup process involved, so just take the thing off when you don't need it and put it in your pocket. Trust me, you can get it back on in three seconds. That is, of course, assuming the act of lifting your three ounce cell phone to your head is unbearably strenuous.
Take off the earpieces. Don't do it for me. Do it for yourself and your dignity.
After letting the kids burn off some steam, and watching a pig race (you had to see it to believe it. I had no idea pigs were so fast) we climbed up onto the wagon and started off. To our side was a family consisting of what appeared to be a mother, father, uncle, aunt and four or five kids.
The ride was going smoothly until I noticed it. The king. The grandpa. The mack-daddy of stupid.
The mother and father were both sitting quietly, jaws clenched in an 'I'm a badass' pose. Each wore a matching black and silver motorola bluetooth earpiece. Neither was using it.
As much of a lover of technology as I am, that is one piece of tech that as far as I'm concerned could simply disappear into the ether. Not because they're not useful. Hell, when driving I think they're fantastic. It's when people wear them all the time, like a fashion accessory they become...stupid. If I want to see people looking like the Borg, I'll watch a re-run of ST:TNG.
Call me old fashioned, but given that I was on a family outing, trying to let my kids enjoy the beautiful day and all the activities, I left my cell phone in the car. I figured anyone who needed to reach me could leave a voicemail, and I'd just get back to them when I got back. I really didn't think that on a Sunday afternoon, when my family was with me, there'd be anything pressing enough that I would have to keep an earpiece stuck to the side of my head.
These people apparently had to stay in the loop. It looked as if breaking their connections to the T-Mobile collective would kill them instantly. What made it even more sad was the fact that both the mother and father had them. They were sitting right beside each other, without talking, and still wearing their little toys.
Please people, make a concerted effort to not look like a dumbass. Nobody thinks you're cool. Nobody's going to point you out and say 'Oh cool man, he's got an earpiece!' That kind of showing off belongs back in third grade.
There's not exactly an elaborate installation or setup process involved, so just take the thing off when you don't need it and put it in your pocket. Trust me, you can get it back on in three seconds. That is, of course, assuming the act of lifting your three ounce cell phone to your head is unbearably strenuous.
Take off the earpieces. Don't do it for me. Do it for yourself and your dignity.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Sir You Hurt My Feelings, SIR!
The Army has gone emo.
Next thing you know, new troops will be asking insurgents to be their friends on MySpace.
God help us.
And yet people whine about why we're not more effective in combat. In addition to fighting a 'light/lean' war which inherently hinders effectiveness, we're also bound by ROE that inhibit our people from adequately taking control of the situation, and now we're deploying troops who've been through a pussified version of basic training.Drill sergeants have been told to cool it. All the cussing, swearing, in-your-face intimidation by a vein-popping, bull-necked brute is now passé.
You read it right. Drill sergeants — the toughest, meanest people in the military — have been ordered to try a more sensitive approach to the young male and female recruits who once answered to the name "maggot" — or worse.
Veterans would probably chuckle, but according to Army Times, today's recruits can do their push-ups from their knees if they get too tired. Sit-ups can be accomplished with the help of a sleeping mat. Today's Army doesn't want recruits with bruised, er, tail bones.
Next thing you know, new troops will be asking insurgents to be their friends on MySpace.
God help us.
Sports News!
New York Yankee Cory Lidle has officially been traded to the Angels:
A small plane carrying New York Yankee Cory Lidle slammed into a 50-story apartment building Wednesday after issuing a distress call, killing the pitcher and a second person in a crash that rained flaming debris onto the sidewalks and briefly raised fears of another terrorist attack.That's a hell of a strike out.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Reason #16 Why The West Is Superior
There are times in life when you're forced to make a decision. Will you turn left or right? Will you buy a Camry or an Altima? Will you bend to the will of Islamic terror, or stand up for the Western way of life?
I, for one have made my decision based on a number of factors. I don't really have any special desire to live under shari'a law, so that's a big one. I don't particularly like turbans, so that's number two. As for three...well, this one took even less time.
Let's say YOU had to pick. Would you choose:
If you stopped to think about it, you are a terrorist.
I, for one have made my decision based on a number of factors. I don't really have any special desire to live under shari'a law, so that's a big one. I don't particularly like turbans, so that's number two. As for three...well, this one took even less time.
Let's say YOU had to pick. Would you choose:
Option 1
OR
If you stopped to think about it, you are a terrorist.
Mexico: U.S. Is Not Allowed to Protect Its Border
There is a term coined by the internet generation that I swore I would never use. That word is asshat. I don't like it, and I don't know why, but today I find that it's time for me to give in and call a spade a spade. Mexico is ruled by asshats.
I really don't know how many times I have to talk about this before someone listens. Here goes: We do NOT hate Mexico. Mexicans are actually WELCOME here, provided they FOLLOW OUR LAWS and DO NOT SNEAK IN.
I'm only going to explain this ONCE more, so pay attention liberals and Mexicans:
Imagine I have a big house that everyone wants to go visit. Further, let's say I readily allow anyone to visit as long as they just ask me first. Sounds reasonable right? Now, say 'Juan' decides he's going to bypass me altogether and just sneak on in and do what he pleases. Not so nice is it? What if Juan then decided I was the bad guy because I decided to put a gate around my property to keep him from sneaking in again. Instead, he'd prefer that we just magically become friends and forget about the fact that he and his whole family repeatedly sneak into my house. Of course, I'd be perfectly within my rights to protect my own property and decide who I will and will not allow on it. It's MY property.
It's so outrageously simple a concept to grasp and yet everyone has to attempt to paint it with the race issue or break out the 'big mean U.S.' scenario. It's a good thing the UN is comprised themselves of a bunch of impotent asshats. Nothing's going to come of this, but the fact that Mexico even perceives it may have the slightest whiff of a case is disturbing.
Source: Washington Post
Mexico's foreign secretary said Monday the country may take a dispute over U.S. plans to build a fence on the Mexican border to the United Nations.Get off it Mexico. No, not the fence, you already jumped over that. Get off this bogus crusade you're on to prove to the world the U.S. is the big mean bully who hates you and wants you all to stay away.Luis Ernesto Derbez told reporters in Paris, his first stop on a European tour, that a legal investigation was under way to determine whether Mexico has a case.
I really don't know how many times I have to talk about this before someone listens. Here goes: We do NOT hate Mexico. Mexicans are actually WELCOME here, provided they FOLLOW OUR LAWS and DO NOT SNEAK IN.
I'm only going to explain this ONCE more, so pay attention liberals and Mexicans:
Imagine I have a big house that everyone wants to go visit. Further, let's say I readily allow anyone to visit as long as they just ask me first. Sounds reasonable right? Now, say 'Juan' decides he's going to bypass me altogether and just sneak on in and do what he pleases. Not so nice is it? What if Juan then decided I was the bad guy because I decided to put a gate around my property to keep him from sneaking in again. Instead, he'd prefer that we just magically become friends and forget about the fact that he and his whole family repeatedly sneak into my house. Of course, I'd be perfectly within my rights to protect my own property and decide who I will and will not allow on it. It's MY property.
It's so outrageously simple a concept to grasp and yet everyone has to attempt to paint it with the race issue or break out the 'big mean U.S.' scenario. It's a good thing the UN is comprised themselves of a bunch of impotent asshats. Nothing's going to come of this, but the fact that Mexico even perceives it may have the slightest whiff of a case is disturbing.
Source: Washington Post
Thursday, October 5, 2006
The Replacement Killers
Leading Al-Qaeda in Iraq is turning out to be a dead-end career move.
Oh well, so much for my happy-dance.
EDIT: UPDATE - According to CNN:Iraq's al Qaeda leader, Abu Ayyub al-Masri, has been killed, Al Arabiya television reported on Thursday.
It gave no further details. Masri, an Egyptian who is also known as Abu Hamza al-Muhajir, assumed the leadership of al Qaeda in Iraq after Jordanian militant Abu Musab al-Zarqawi was killed in June.
(Source: Reuters)
At least two Arab TV networks and Reuters news agency had reported that al-Masri
was killed in a raid in Haditha, but a U.S. military spokesman said those
reports are not true.
Oh well, so much for my happy-dance.
Ramadanadingdong
I promise I'm not trying to turn this blog into a smut site, but this is too amusing not to mention.
The rest of it is making me queasy; thinking about this guy and the word 'masturbation' in the same sentence is something I don't need to do. Read the rest HERE if you simply must know more.
Deliberate masturbation during the month of Ramadan renders a fast invalid,
Iranian Supreme Leader Sayyid Ali Khameini has ruled.
The rest of it is making me queasy; thinking about this guy and the word 'masturbation' in the same sentence is something I don't need to do. Read the rest HERE if you simply must know more.
Tuesday, October 3, 2006
Skydiving and Porn
Which part of this story is funnier? The fact that someone decided to film a porno while skydiving, or:
...the fact it was reported on by RICHARD JOHNSON?
...the fact it was reported on by RICHARD JOHNSON?
Which of These Things Is Not Like the Others?
So I was sitting here working and minding my own business when I suddenly felt the urge to see what was new on Technorati. That urge is something akin to suddenly feeling like you need to go staple two fingers together, but all the same, I had it.
Clicking on over, I checked out the 'top searches' section to see if there was some cultural meme I'd thus far today missed out on. Instead I stumbled across a mystery. Join me in trying to figure out how this one random term popped in there. (Yes, I know what it referst to. I just can't figure out how it ended up in the list)
Clicking on over, I checked out the 'top searches' section to see if there was some cultural meme I'd thus far today missed out on. Instead I stumbled across a mystery. Join me in trying to figure out how this one random term popped in there. (Yes, I know what it referst to. I just can't figure out how it ended up in the list)
Fits right in there with Mark Foley, Amish, and Netflix, doesn't it?
Monday, October 2, 2006
Multiple Fatalities In Amish School Shooting
What in the hell is wrong with people? For the third time in a WEEK, there's been a school-shooting. This time, there are conflicting reports of fatalities; CNN claims 3 while a report linked to from the Drudge Report Claims as many as 6 victims are confirmed dead, and there may be more.
The county coroner says at least six people were killed in a shooting at a one-room Amish schoolhouse, where state police said earlier a gunman killed(Sources: CNN /Breitbart)
"a number" of people Monday in Pennsylvania's bucolic Lancaster County.
"So far six confirmed dead and the helicopters are pulling into
(Lancaster General Hospital) like crazy," Lancaster County Coroner G. Gary
Kirchner said.
The shooting took place at Wolf Rock School in Paradise, a school run by
the Amish community with about 27 students in grades 1 through 8.
The gunman, Charles Carl Roberts IV, 32, was a truck driver, said
Miller.
Miller said that during the attack, Roberts apparently told students to
line up in front of the blackboard. He began to tie his female captives' feet together. Then he let the boys in the classroom leave.
Miller said Roberts called his wife while he was inside the school. She
said he didn't know where he was but that he couldn't go on any more and he was getting revenge for something that happened 20 years ago.
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