Monday, September 25, 2006

Tastes Like Chicken

I thought I would be back sharing my discoveries with my faithful masses of fans on Saturday, but alas, I missed that deadline. Today I bring you the greatest promotion of all time:


The [Six Flags] park in Gurnee, Illinois, is joining other Six Flags parks in offering unlimited line-jumping privileges to anyone who eats a live Madagascar hissing cockroach. The bugs are up to three inches long.
Personally, I think it's a sweet idea for several reasons. Look at it this way. The people who will do this aren't people you probably want to stand in line with anyway.

No more sweaty fat goth dudes with more straps on their pants than an S&M club smelling up the area with their unwashed goodness. Maybe this is a biased statement, having come from personal experience, but the point holds true.

Second, if the ride breaks, isn't it better to have this dude find out before you?

Lastly, cockroaches, like most goths, are unpleasant to look at and the world is generally better off without them. I really don't see the problem here, unlike PETA.

PETA Upset at Six Flags roach eating contest