My Satan in law, er...mother in law has done it yet again. Managed to effectively piss me off to the point where I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack, or a stroke, or perhaps a good old-fashioned anyeurism. (I'd prefer any of those to seeing her.) I'm sitting here babysitting at her house (don't ask.) So she decides to go to the dentist, and for two hours, I have nothing but blissful fun-time with my children.
Then she gets home and immediately I hear the trademark Trasformer 'chunk chunk chunk' sound as she reconfigures herself into Bitchimus Prime, leader of the Tamponicons. She parked her oompa-loompa ass onto her favorite living room chair and began dictating what my son could and could not watch on TV, as my mouth fell open (a regular ocurrence) in anger and shock. Evidently, 'Fairly Oddparents' on Nickeloden, 'The Proud Family' on Fox, and whatever else I clicked to, she declared was 'inappropriate' and then followed up with a rant about how it was her house, her TV, and her job to supervise the children. The fact that I, their father, was right there in the room evidently never registered with her.
I clicked off the TV and threw the remote across the room making some comment to the effect of 'Sorry, I didn't realize that the TV Gestapo was in the house.' I would have been infinitely more satisfied by firing off an overly loud 'Fuck you and everyone who looks like you' but that would have scared the kids.
With all the medication she's on for her 6,856 medical and mental disorders, you'd think eventually one of them would mellow her out to the point where her bitch quotient sunk down into the fractional range, but evidently that's too much to ask for.
I've got a solution for her that would almost certainly work, but last time I checked, punching someone in the face was still considered assault.
