No Talent

You know, if you can’t play Call of Duty: World at War without using a modded rapid-fire controller, you are a total douchebag.  See, there exist only two possible reasons for someone to use these devices. 

1) You are a stat-padder and don’t care about the fun of actually achieving goals on your own merit.  You’re probably the one who relentlessly puts down your own team during the match and then gets pissed off when people shut you down. You then find the synthetic balls to complain that everyone else on your team sucks, blows, is gay, etc.  This type of behavior, when reinforced only with stats you earn because of your quickfire controller, makes you an poseur par excellence, as well as a complete dick.

2) Without the use of a rapid-fire controller you suck so incredibly hard at COD that your friends laugh at you, your girlfriend leaves you, and your dog shits on your XBox to prevent you from spreading the sheer magnitude of your suck like a digital cancer.  Your mom probably still dresses you; hell, she’s probably better at COD than you are.

If either of these statements in any way apply to you, do yourself a favor.  Take your COD disc out, ask your mommy to drive you to the nearest EB/Gamestop, etc, and proceed to explain to them that you need to trade in COD for “The Incredibles.”   Then when you get home, take your modded, prized rapidfire controller and break it with a heavy object.  Trust me on this.  It’s better than what would happen if a real gamer got hold of it.  That of course would be to shove it so far up your ass you’d shit plastic for two months.

A final word of warning to you rapid fire sissies.  You are aware (maybe) that COD still has the kill-cam feature, so we can SEE your pathetic attempts at ownage.  We do not respect you, we don’t fear you, and we’re all talking insane amounts of shit about you while laughing at your obvious shortcomings.

Come back when you can play with the big boys.