Monday, April 24, 2006

Drive it like you stole it.

I've been noticing for a while now that people who drive Mustangs and Camaros (and by extension, Firebirds/Trans Ams which are re-badged Camaros) all seem to have a common trait. They all drive them like they're running from the law. Not too long ago, I was driving past a gas station when an '05 Mustang with dark tinted windows and some 'racing club' graphics on the back window tore out of the gas station lot like the Dukes of Hazzard. Roscoe must have been hot on his tail because out of nowhere I heard the roar of an engine and tires screaming for their lives while he fishtailed out into the opposing lane before regaining control and leaving a cloud of noxious burning rubber behind.

Ordinarily I'd let it go with a trite comment about compensating for small appendages, but this time was a little different. This little display happened as I approached him at over 60 miles an hour, and nearly tore the rear end off his precious pony car. My kids were in the back seat, and laying on the brakes with children in tow is pretty nerve-wracking to say the least.

That's not the only time it's happened either; it seems that every Mustang/Camaro/Firebird comes equipped with patented 5000 decibel Obnoxious(tm) brand mufflers. The term muffler is a little misleading here, as they're more like amplifiers, really. Apparently, the only approved way to test these mufflers is to drive them up and down the streets in my neighborhood at one in the morning, gunning the engine repeatedly just to make sure everyone gets a good earful.

Even worse, it seems that I can't drive anywhere without yet another Mustang whipping through traffic, or passing everyone just to be in the front of the pack. I know you have a muscle car, people. I drive a Kia for God's sake. I'm not a threat to you. There is no need to flaunt your horsepower advantage, since the likelihood I'm going to challenge you to a race is pretty much non-existant.

I don't want to race you, I don't care how fast you can pass the six cars in front of you, I don't want to listen to the shitty rap music you're blasting at 3,000 decibels (just low enough as to not interfere with the resonance of your mufflers), your 'rims' don't impress me, and I'm still trying to figure out how you drive leaning that far back/that far to the side.

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , ,